


Everyone Is Ass!

by baconpussy



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: A Shitload of Swearing, Angst, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Doc Louis has a one-sided rivalry with WFT, Dr. Mario is actually a doctor from an alternate universe, Drama, Everyone has relationship issues, Everyone is just essentially on crack to an extent, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Humor, I accept prompts, I don't know all of the series in smash that well, It gets better and juicier as you read on, Like tons of drama, Love Confessions, M/M, One-Shots, Other, Palutena and Rosalina are moms, Palutena has a one-sided rivalry with Bayonetta, Requited Love, Romance, Singing, Slow Angst, Some parts are chat-fic, That's how crack it is, Unrequited Love, and issues in general, some more than others
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2020-05-12 23:47:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 39,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19239553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baconpussy/pseuds/baconpussy
Summary: 'I love you's' turns into 'I hate you's' and vice versa. People sabotage relationships and unexpected guests appear. Rejection happens, friendships form, rules are only made to be broken, and everyone starts crying at one point or another.Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.A.k.a the Smash Bros. stupid as fuck and have troubles with keeping stable relationships, friendships, and more. Drama ensues because what else could happen in a mansion full of 70+ people?





	1. Introduction (Everyone)

**Author's Note:**

> Send in prompts because I have no idea what direction to take the story sometimes. Relationships and friendships are up to me, though. 
> 
> Btw, the Heroes names from Dragon Quest are (as found on the Dragon Quest wiki):  
> DQ1: Alef  
> DQ2: Allen  
> DQ3: Erdrick (Alternate Costume)  
> DQ4: Solo (Alternate Costume)  
> DQ5: Madason  
> DQ6: Botsu  
> DQ7: Auster  
> DQ8: Eight (Alternate Costume)  
> DQ9: Nine  
> DQ10: X  
> DQ11: Eleven or Luminary (or Hero from the SSBU E3 trailer)

1\. Introduction (Everyone)

* * *

"THE SMASH MANSION.

 

IT'S FILLED WITH MANY PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT UNIVERSES ALIKE. HEROES AND VILLAINS HAVE ALL GATHERED HERE FOR SMASH TOURNAMENTS AND HAVE FOUGHT AGAINST EVIL FORCES AS WELL. THESE WARRIORS ARE THE BEST AROUND. MOST OF THEM HAVE TALES OF HEROISM, WOE, TRIUMPH, AND VICTORY OVER THEIR ARCHENEMIES. THEIR STORIES HAVE GONE DOWN IN HISTORY AS ONE OF THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS OF ALL TIME.

 

SINCE THEY'VE BEEN HERE, THE CHARACTERS HAVE ALL HAVE MADE SOME SORT OF CONNECTION WITH ANOTHER. ONE OF THE PURPOSES OF SUPER SMASH BROS AS A WHOLE IS TO BUILD RELATIONSHIPS WITH ONE ANOTHER AND BUILD CONFIDENCE. AND I AM CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO SAY THAT WE HAVE ACHIEVED THOSE GOALS.

 

'SUPER SMASH BROS.' HAS BEEN A STAPLE SINCE THE LATE 1990s. THE WHOLE WORLD WAS BLOWN AWAY BY A SIMPLE CROSSOVER OF GAMING'S BELOVED CHARACTERS. SINCE THEN, THE SERIES HAS GROWN BIGGER AND BIGGER TO WHERE WE ARE NOW. IT'S AMAZING HOW SOMETHING SO BIG STARTED OFF FROM SOMETHING SO LITTLE. I GUESS THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE MEAN WHEN THEY SAY TIME FLIES.

 

I HAVE STARTED THIS SERIES OF FIGHTS OUT OF SHEER CURIOSITY. HAVE YOU EVER SAT DOWN AND THOUGHT, 'HEY, WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE IF MARIO FOUGHT LINK?'. I HAVE. AND I MADE IT HAPPEN. I CREATED THE SMASH UNIVERSE AND THE CROSSOVER GENRE AS A WHOLE. WHAT EVERYONE ELSE SAYS ABOUT HOW IT STARTED ARE RUMORS AND MYTHS.

 

I HAVE BEEN AROUND SINCE ANCIENT TIMES. I HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH EXPERIENCE AS A WHOLE TO MAKE ANYTHING I WANT HAPPEN WITH ALMOST GODLIKE POWERS. NOTHING CAN STOP ME. I AM THE CREATOR.

 

I AM MASTER HAND.

 

AND I, FOR ONE, HAVE GOT TO SAY...

 

I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BUNCH OF CHARACTERS IN ONE HOUSE HAVE A HUGE DEBATE OVER PRACTICALLY NOTHING TO THE POINT OF AN OUT OF CONTROL FOOD FIGHT!"

Master Hand was pissed. The Smash Brothers were pissed at each other. The whole dining hall was a mess. There was food everywhere- food in people's hair, clothes, on their faces, you name it.

Master Hand was showing the Dragon Quest gang (the main four alternates), Banjo, and Kazooie around before they officially get settled in months later. He told them how lucky they were that they got accepted, and how everyone wanted them so badly. Then, he started going on and on with a speech that none of them cared to hear (with a few snide comments from Kazooie during it all).

And now, here they are: all of the smashers covered in various foods from a small argument that went too far. The Dragon Quest gang, Banjo, and Kazooie had their mouths agape. Was this what they all were going to deal with in the next upcoming months?

Everyone was silent. No one had anything to say. Except for one, of course.

"I like this place already." Kazooie said.

* * *

 


	2. Food Fight Frenzy Motherfuckers (Everyone)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tale of how the food fight had started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send in prompts because I have no idea what direction to take the story sometimes. Relationships and friendships are up to me, though. 
> 
> Also, the Female WFT is named Jane and the Male WFT is named John. Just because I don't feel like typing Female/Male Wii Fit Trainer all the time.

2\. Food Fight Frenzy Motherfuckers (Everyone)

* * *

It was lunch time at the Smash Mansion. Master Hand was having a meeting with the Dragon Quest gang and Banjo-Kazooie, so he couldn't really monitor anything.

Not like he ever did, anyway. Neither did Crazy Hand. They don't care about what goes on in the mansion unless it gets insanely out of control (well, at least Master Hand does, Crazy Hand lives off of the chaos). They rarely show up in the mansion at all, unless it's to announce something.

 

Rosalina is usually the one who prepares the meals for everyone. It's part of her job as being a mother to the Lumas to do so, and now her duty carries over to the residents of the Smash Mansion. Other people help too, like Peach, Daisy, and Jane (with her making healthy meals, of course). Palutena wants to cook too, but no one lets her after past incidents. 

It's not actually a chore, though. Although there's plenty of prepared meals in the house (courtesy of Master Hand), Rosalina enjoys doing household chores, as it keeps her busy when she has nothing else to do. She prepares food based on requests, too, but it's not much for the goddess to handle.

 

Anyway, she brought out the meals from the kitchen and set them on the dining room table with notes on them for which character requested which. Spaghetti for Luigi, steak for Ness, chili dogs for Sonic, you name it. Rosalina doesn't eat much, occasionally she eats star bits from the cosmos, as they are energetic snacks. But today, Jane had offered to make her a salad, to which she accepted.

Loud chatter filled the room the instant she walked in. The room was enormous. A long table for the various smasher's meals was on the side near some big windows. There were circular tables for friends to sit together, eat, and talk. There were also long rectangular tables for the smashers to eat at as well, so if the round tables weren't their favorite, they always had another option.

Of course, a third option was to eat in their own rooms, but all the smashers decided to eat in the dining hall today.

 

As Pit was grabbing his ice cream from the table, Wario was next to him along with K. Rool, with the former being obnoxious as usual, talking about a recent match with the aforementioned angel.

"Wahahahaha! You-a should've seen the-a face the-a wimp was making when I-a ran him over with my motorcycle! PRICELESS!" Wario said loud enough to have the people around him give him glances out of annoyance, to which he stuck his tongue out at all of them.

Pit groaned out of annoyance. Every time he had a fight against the fat man and he lost, he would never live it down. Wario even harasses Pit by putting up scores on his bedroom of how many times he has won against him (with the current score being 39-11).

 

Pit was becoming  _extremely_ agitated with what he was doing, but he chose not to do anything about it. Not like he could do anything to appease the matter anyway, because Wario would just come at him ten times worse than before.

 

As Pit sat with Palutena and Dark Pit, the former was the first to notice his bad mood.

"Pit, why don't you ask someone to help you?" Palutena asked.

"No offense Lady Palutena, but I don't think anyone would help ME with a person like Wario."

"Oh, please, Pit. A lot of people in this mansion like you. It's hard not to imagine someone NOT helping out a literal angel like you!"

"Well then, Lady Palutena, would  _you_ please help me?"

"Oh fuck no. Deal with that bitch yourself." Palutena said to which Dark Pit started laughing at, much to Pit's dismay.

As soon as Dark Pit stopped laughing, he came into the conversation. "As hilarious as I find this, Pit-Stain, I'm going to help you."

 

Pit and Palutena both eyed him weirdly. "REALLY? You  _helping_ Pit?" Palutena asked, dumbfounded. She knew something was up.

"Well, you aren't going to do it, and no one else wants to deal with Wario. Plus, maybe if someone teaches his fat ass a lesson, he could never bother anyone again, and maybe Pit can build some confidence or whatever."

That's it. Palutena tried to nip the suggestion in the bud, but Pit was desperate for anyone's help, even if it was his clone offering said help.

"Dark Pit, what do you think I should do?" Pit asked.

"Pit!" Palutena said in surprise.

"Sorry, Goddess, but he wants  _my_ help. Not yours. Come on." Dark Pit motioned for Pit to come over where he was while he grabbed his tray.

"By the gods, if something goes wrong..." Palutena mumbled to herself.

 

As Dark Pit and Pit were walking over to the villains' table, Pit finally noticed that Dark Pit was carrying his plate of food.

"Uh, Dark Pit, why are you carrying your food tray?" Pit asked.

"Not important. Focus on the current situation. So, what you do is assert yourself onto him. Show him that he's not the boss of you or anyone else."

"But I can't do that..."

"Yes, you can, Pit-Stain! Now quit being a baby and do this!"

"But how to I assert myself onto him like you say I should?"

"Tell him that what he's doing is bothering you and to cool it. Plain and simple."

"But what should I say or do--"

"Pit-Stain! Think of something quickly!" Dark Pit whispered as they finally arrived at the villains' table.

 

The villains' table had usually consisted of Bowser and Bowser Jr., the Koopalings, Ganondorf, King Dedede, Wolf, Ridley, K. Rool, and of course, Wario. Dark Pit would sometimes sit with them when he wanted to be entertained, because he saw most of the villains as capable of getting what they want as much as they were capable of being on top of a tier list, which most of them weren't. Mewtwo would be over here too, but it was rare.

Once Pit and Dark Pit had arrived, all the villains looked at them. Wario immediately busted out laughing at the white winged angel.

 

"Wahahahahahaha! Is the little angel here with his-a bodyguard? What are-a you two-a gonna do? Make me-a give the baby his candy back?" Wario mocked.

Dark Pit frowned in annoyance. 'Pit better man up,' he thought.

"Wario! Stop doing what you're doing to me! I, uh, don't like it! It seems that you pick on me the most out of anyone else here! So you better stop!" Pit said as he looked at Dark Pit with a huge grin on his face and a thumbs up.

Dark Pit facepalmed. The villains just looked at him in confusion until they all busted out laughing.

 

"Pathetic!" 

"What a baby!"

"No balls!"

 

Pit was slowly losing all the confidence he somewhat had. The taunting from the villains seemed to be endless. Why him?

Much to his relief, however, Dark Pit stepped in. Someone had to put Wario in his place.

 

"Hey, fatso, Pit meant to say to stop bothering him. Everyone else in the mansion doesn't like it when you do stupid shit like this and it's very irritating. So fuck off."

Wario just stared at him. "And what if I don't? What are-a you gonna do about it, emo boy?"

"Guys, let's not get so worked up over this. Can't we just forget this ever happened and let bygones be bygones?" Pit pleaded.

"NO!" Dark Pit and Wario yelled, catching almost half of the people in the room's attention.

 

"Just stop what you're doing, Wario. It's bad enough that we have villains like Bowser and Dedede who can't do shit but kidnap people and eat on their fat ass all day, but you're a greedy bastard who feeds off of the despair of others. I'll admit, some of the stuff you do is funny, but you take everything way too far."

Not only did Dark Pit piss of Wario, but he pissed off Bowser and King Dedede. Wario then lunged at Dark Pit from over the table, with the latter's plate flying up into the air and landing into Pit's hands. Everyone in the dining hall just stared at the fight unfolding, with Dark Pit losing. Bowser and King Dedede egged on Wario to kick Dark Pit's ass.

Then, Pit did what no one had expected next. He threw Dark Pit's plate of food at Wario.

 

Everyone stopped and stared at him. Pit felt on the spot with all of the attention on him now. 'By the gods, why did I do that?!' Pit thought frantically. 

"HEY! I WANTED TO SEE THEM FIGHT!" Bowser had yelled and threw food at Pit, but he ducked and it hit Mario instead. Mario threw food back and it hit Wolf.

And then the food throwing had began. Even the most dignified smashers were throwing food like it was nothing.  

 

And now here we are, an hour later with Master Hand expecting an answer from someone. Anyone.

Dark Pit raised his hand for acknowledgement from Master Hand.

 

"YES, DARK PIT?"

"The fat ass started it." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Pit was calling Dark Pit by his name and not Pittoo because he wanted actual help, before anyone mentions that he didn't call him by his nickname.
> 
> Send in prompts because I have no idea what direction to take the story sometimes. Relationships and friendships are up to me, though.


	3. Aftermath (Everyone Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the food fight and an end to something of a arc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send in prompts because I have no idea where to take the story sometimes.

3\. Aftermath (Everyone Again)

* * *

“YOU ALL SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES. YOU ALL CAN’T ACT NORMAL FOR ONCE WHILE I’M SHOWING NEW SOON-TO-BE MEMBERS AROUND THE HOUSE? ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

 

Master Hand was currently scolding the whole Smash Mansion residents for what they had done. The Dragon Quest gang and Banjo-Kazooie had long since left (well, almost forced out) the mansion by an extremely embarrassed Master Hand, followed by Donkey Kong and (surprisingly) K. Rool bawling their eyes out from not seeing Banjo-Kazooie until the fall, the Dragon Quest group had a little chat with Fire Emblem characters, while Diddy managed to get Banjo-Kazooie’s number so he could text them.

 

It was usually customary for Master Hand to let the newcomers to the Smash Mansion have an hour to chat with any and every one they wanted to talk to. But today, that was cut short to only a measly 5 minutes. Master Hand’s anger and embarrassment couldn’t be put into words.

 

 

“I EXPECTED BETTER FROM ALL OF YOU…. SCRATCH THAT, _MOST_ OF YOU. I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. YES, EVEN YOU, ISABELLE. NONE OF YOU DID ANYTHING TO STOP THE FIGHT.”

 

“Uh, M-Master Hand?” Pit raised his hand meekly.

 

“YES, PIT?”

 

“I tried to stop the fight…”

 

“HOW?”

 

“Well, I—“ Pit started before Wario and Dark Pit sent him death stares his way, “uh, nevermind.”

 

Palutena scoffed loud enough for Master Hand to hear. “IS THERE SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO SAY, PALUTENA?”

“Yeah, Pit _did_ try to stop it by trying to get Dark Pit and Wario to stop arguing, but he accidentally threw food to get them to stop.” Palutena said.

 

“SO THE ONLY THING HE DID WAS ESCALATE THE FIGHT.”

 

“Way to go, Goddess.” Dark Pit sneered.

 

“Hey, you’re not innocent either! You’re far from it!” Palutena scolded Dark Pit.

 

“SILENCE! IT’S CLEAR THAT ALL OF YOU ARE TO BLAME! NO IFS, ANDS, OR BUTS! I’M PUNISHING EACH AND EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU! NO LEAVING THE MANSION FOR A MONTH!”

 

“Or else what?” Samus asked, getting annoyed.

 

“OR ELSE I WILL HAVE CRAZY HAND DESTROY THE UNIVERSE YOU’RE APART OF OR KILL OFF ALL YOUR LOVED ONES. WHICHEVER IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE. BUT IF YOU’RE A VILLAIN, I’LL HAVE HIM KILL OFF YOU AND YOUR LACKEYS INSTEAD, SO NO ONE GET ANY BRIGHT IDEAS.”

 

“You can’t do that, Master Asshole!” Wolf cursed.

 

“YES, I CAN. AND I JUST DID. AND IF YOU KEEP IT UP, I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU ALL CARE ABOUT QUICKER THAN THE SNAP OF MY FINGERS.”

 

“You stupid—“ Wolf almost cursed again before having multiple guns and other weapons pointed in his direction, which immediately shut him up.

 

“VERY GOOD. NOW, CLEAN UP THIS MESS. ALL OF YOU. I’LL KNOW WHO DIDN’T CONTRIBUTE. AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT USING YOUR POWERS, PALUTENA.”

 

And with that final say, Master Hand left the mansion. Palutena rolled her eyes as everyone glared at one another and cleaned up without uttering a single word. It took everyone several hours to finish.

 

It was already night as all of the smashers tried taking baths and showers to get the mess and smell off of them. The bathrooms were crowded with everyone wanting to wash up and go to bed as soon as they could.

 

“Thank the gods we have hot springs, otherwise we’d be up forever…” Pit said to himself before he saw his clone walking to his room. “Hey! Pittoo!”

 

“Don’t call me that!”

 

“Why’d you do that to Wario? You could’ve died!”

 

“No I wouldn’t have! Do you seriously ever think before you speak?!”

 

“Technically, you could have died. Wario’s stench alone could’ve killed you.” Palutena said.

 

“You stay out of this! You weren’t much help with defending Pit from Master Hand, so why do you think that you can defend him now?”

 

“I technically _did_ defend Pit, Master Hand just took it the wrong way.”

 

“There’s no ‘technically’ about it! You could’ve just lied about what had happened!”

 

“No, I couldn’t, because since Master Hand is _technically_ an all seeing being, he would’ve known that I lied.” Palutena said, making sure she emphasized the word ‘technically’ to get a reaction out of Dark Pit.

 

“STOP SAYING—“ Dark Pit had started before he was interrupted by Wolf.

 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, WANNABE EDGY BITCH!” Wolf yelled before slamming his door. Before the heavenly trio knew it, everyone had gotten into their rooms and the light in the bedroom hallway had turned off, leaving them all alone.

“Look who’s talking, hypocrite. I’ll get his furry ass later.” Dark Pit said as Palutena had pulled out her spectacles.

“Ugh! Not in that way! I’m out.” Dark Pit said as he went to his room and slammed his door as well, leaving just Pit and Palutena alone.

 

Pit looked at Palutena with her spectacles still on. “Why do you do that?”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Everything. Just everything.”

 

“Because I can, Pit. Because I can.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Palutena spectacles reference is in Kid Icarus Uprising when she takes them out when she asks Pit if he has naughty thoughts. She does it often and it annoys others to no end and she loves it.
> 
> Send in prompts because I have no idea where to take the story sometimes.


	4. Semi-Awkward Tea Party (Isabelle and Peach)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isabelle is having a tea party with Peach and something shocking is revealed.

4\. Semi-Awkward Tea Party (Isabelle and Peach)

* * *

 

Isabelle ran down the huge corridor of the Smash Mansion’s bedroom suite. She walked to the room that had Peach’s name engraved onto the door with a big number 13 on top of it.

 

The Smash Mansion had everyone’s bedroom organized by what number they were on the roster. Originally it was two different corridors so no one had to walk so far just to get to their room, but Crazy Hand went berserk one day (more so than usual) and made all the rooms into one corridor, to which all of the characters that were added in later games complained about.

This made Master Hand have a teleportation station for the smashers to use when they didn’t feel like walking to their rooms, which was proven to be very useful. It was used all the time by various smashers, and everyone had used it at least once. All they had to do was either put in their roster number or name, and they were set.

 

Of course, some smashers haven’t used it that often, with Isabelle being a prime example. She always liked getting her exercise and believed that taking the teleporter was lazy, unless she was in a hurry.

But she was in a slight hurry today because she had something important to get to.

She was invited to a tea party with Peach.

 

It was normal for Peach to have all the female smashers in the mansion come to a tea party every 2 weeks and just hang out and drink tea. Basically do and talk about girl things. But, unfortunately, all the girls, sans Isabelle, of course, were busy.

 

Peach thought that everyone was still mad over the dining room incident, hence the reason why everyone didn’t come. She understood that everyone was still upset, including herself, somewhat. It put everyone in a bad mood, honestly. But she mostly got over it. Most of the smashers got over it too, and they all brushed it off as another one of the shenanigans that goes on in the mansion.

 

Some didn’t, of course. The best examples of that are Wario and Dark Pit.

But, it wasn’t the time to think about that! Peach was going to have a tea party with Isabelle, and it’s going to be great!

Speaking of the devil, a small knock came at the door.

“Come in!” Peach gleefully called from the inside.

Isabelle comes in, nearly about to collapse.

“Isabelle! Are you ok?!” Peach asked, concerned for the shih-tzu.

“Yes…just…out of…breath…” Isabelle said, with almost no air in her lungs.

“Why are you out of breath?”

“Didn’t want…to be late…”

Peach blinked in surprise. “It wouldn’t matter if you were late, actually. No one came because they were all busy.”

“Really? That’s too bad. Hopefully things aren’t a complete bust, though! At least I showed up!”

Peach smiled at Isabelle’s optimism. She immediately got to pouring tea for herself and her guest.

“So Isabelle…how are you doing today?”

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“Doing great myself.”

“Is…there anything interesting going on in your life?” Isabelle mentally cringed at her lack of conversation skills with the princess. Although she wasn’t the _newest_ member in the Smash Mansion and she had fairly decent conversation skills, she was always nervous to speak with the princesses and goddesses of the mansion. It’s not every day where you meet royalty or a literal _god_ and get a chance to talk to them or beat them in matches (well, it happens every day for Isabelle, but you get the point).

“Nothing much! Mario and I were thinking about going on a date night, but after last week’s incident, we changed it to a movie date in the theater here…” Peach went on and on about the Mushroom Kingdom and Mario.

 

Mario this and Mario that. Isabelle loved to hear about others being happy (as long as they’re happy for the right reasons, of course). But hearing Peach talking about Mario like this, and how much she loved him…it made Isabelle wonder.

‘What about him? What about _my_ Mario? He doesn’t even know how I feel…’

“…Isabelle? Are you all right?” Peach asked, noticing Isabelle’s worried look.

“Oh, I’m fine! Just…thinking.”

“Thinking about what? Do you want to talk about it?”

“…”

“You don’t have to if—“

“No! I…kinda want to talk about it. You see…you know about the Mayor, right?”

“Hmm? You mean the Villager, right?”

“Yeah, him. I…well, it’s awkward for me to admit it…but, hearing you talking about how you and Mario are so happy together, it makes me think—“

“Oh my god! You like him!”

“Uh-!”

“You’re so adorable!” Peach said as she continued to gush over Isabelle, who was blushing furiously.

“P-prin-“

“How long did you know that you liked him? Do you think he’s the one? How did you fall in love with him? Does he like you back?”

Isabelle visibly tensed up at the last question, which made Peach worry.

“Oh…he _doesn’t_ like you in that way?” She asked softly.

“That’s the thing…I really don’t know. I wish I knew, but…”

“Do you drop hints?”

“Dropping hints?”

“Yeah, you know! Batting your lashes, laughing at his jokes, blushing—although you do the last one a lot more than the others…”

“H-Hey!”

“Kidding! But in all honesty, just get to know him better, let him know more about you, and get him to fall for you that way.”

“Thanks Princess!”

“No problem! And just call me Peach! Everyone at the mansion calls me that.”

“Thanks Peach! See you at the next tea party!” Isabelle said as she skipped out of the room, ready to try the princess’ advice.

“No problem…” Peach said as Isabelle was long gone.

A few minutes later, all of the female smash residents came to Peach’s room, following Peach’s confused reaction.

“What are you all doing here?” She asked.

“We’re here for the tea party?” Daisy told her like it was obvious.

“But I thought no one wanted to come!”

“No! Your tea parties usually start at 3. You must’ve forgotten.” Rosalina reminded her. Peach looked at her clock, and surely enough, it was 3 p.m.

‘So Isabelle came early then.’ Peach thought.

Oh well. What the girls don’t know won’t kill them, right?

…Right?


	5. In Memorial (Etika and Everyone)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Smashers hear about Etika's death and everyone is saddened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't care if the chapter is going to be cheesy, weird, or cringy, it's for Etika god damn it.
> 
> Side note: Fem!Robin is going to be Robyn and Fem!Corrin is going to be Corrina (for a lack of a better and creative name).

5\. In Memorial (Etika and Everyone)

* * *

The Mansion was unusually quiet today.  No one could be found in the main hallway of the mansion. The dining hall, gym/weight room, swimming pool, theater, game room---every room was completely deserted. 

 

Albeit it's early in the morning, but some of the smashers would be up and doing  _something_ to start their day.

 

Pit woke up with a long yawn. He looked at his clock. 6:12. "It's  _that_ early? Oh well. Better wake up now before the 'morning rush'."

 

He got out of bed, went to the bathroom, showered, and went downstairs to get something to eat. 

 

However, no one was in the kitchen. He thought it was strange, seeing as Rosalina or one the Wii Fit Trainers would be up near this time. He got his ice cream and took it to his room. As he walked to the bedroom hallway, no one was even getting out of their bedroom. 

 

"Seems suspicious... where is everyone?"

 

He walked to his room with an eerie vibe. Sure, it felt nice to have peace and quiet, but it felt...empty. Empty and alone. This was probably just him, though.

As soon as he thought this, he heard...crying? Why was someone crying? He listened intently to where the sound was coming from, and it was coming from...Zelda's room?

 

Pit knocked on the door belonging to the Princess of Hyrule. "Zelda? Are you ok?"

"..."

"Zelda?"

"...Please, come in, Pit." Zelda said, trying her damn hardest to not have her voice crack.

 

Pit opened the door, only to see Zelda laying down on her bed with her head face-down into her pillow.

"Zelda, what's wrong?"

"Pit, something _awful_   has happened..." Zelda said as she lifted her head up to face him.

"...W-What happened?"

"Someone died..."

"Died?! Who?! Did someone here violate Master Hand's punishment rule?!"

"No..."

"Did someone from your world die?"

"No."

"Then _who_ died?"

"...Etika."

 

The air was filled with complete silence between the two.

 

"I'm sorry, but... _who_ is Etika?" Pit sheepishly asked.

"He was one of our biggest fans. He supported us to the extreme. He was a famous gamer with a lot of followers. He had a lot of positive energy and was an overall good person."

"Oh..." Pit said, trying his best to understand.

"Look, I know you don't really understand the whole issue. I know people die everyday, but he was special to the whole mansion. I'm actually surprised you didn't know about him. Everyone here loved him."

"Uh, sorry. Guess I live under a rock, haha." Pit rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, which made Zelda giggle a little.

"You don't, Pit. But this is why the whole mansion is quiet right now. Some of the smashers that would be up are either sleeping in or crying. Some have been crying all night, like I have."

 

So that was the reason. Pit felt extremely guilty for not knowing about Etika and his importance to everyone in the mansion.

"...If you don't mind me asking, how did he die?"

"He committed suicide by jumping off of a bridge into a river. He went missing for a week until he was found a few days ago, deceased. He wanted to die because of mental issues."

"Oh. Dark."

 

Zelda nodded with tears starting to form in her eyes. 

 

"Do you want some of my ice cream? It's vanilla."

"Pit, do you think that just because I'm a woman and that I'm sad means that I want ice cream?!" Zelda asked angrily.

"No, it's just--"

"WELL YOU'RE RIGHT! GIVE ME THE DAMN BOWL!" Zelda yelled as she took the bowl from Pit and began eating the ice cream. Pit just looked at Zelda in shock and confusion, causing Zelda to stop her frenzy.

 

"Sorry. It's just really hard, Pit. Not just for me, but for everyone." Zelda said as she gave the bowl back, with very little ice cream in it.

"It's ok. Just get it out of your system." Pit said as he hugged her, to which she reciprocated.

Suddenly, there came a knock at the door.

"Come in!" Zelda called.

 

The door opened to reveal Meta Knight.

"Good morning, Princess Zelda and Pit. I couldn't help but overhear yelling from this room. Are you still hurt by the news?"

"Yes..."

"It's ok, Princess Zelda. Everyone copes with death differently. You are not alone."

"Thanks, guys. It's just that...why him? He was amazing. He cheered people up. He was there to make the dark times become bearable. And now he's actually gone." Zelda started to tear up and Pit hugged her again for comfort.

 

"Sorry to interrupt the moment, you two, but Master Hand has sent us all texts saying that we need to meet in the foyer of the mansion at 0900 hours." Snake said as he appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

 

Zelda and Pit checked their phones, and sure enough, they got the same text.

 

'TO ALL OF THE RESIDENTS OF THE SMASH MANSION:

I ASSUME YOU'VE ALL HEARD ABOUT THE NEWS SURROUNDING ETIKA. AT EXACTLY 9:00 A.M., I NEED EVERYONE TO COME TO THE FOYER OF THE MANSION FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT.

-MASTER HAND'

 

"Ughhhhhh." Zelda plopped her face back down into her pillow. 

"Princess, may I bring you back a glass of water?"

"You don't have to, Meta..."

"But I insist! It is not in the knight's code to let a maiden suffer in such despair!" Meta Knight said as he ran off.

 

Zelda sat back up with her eyes starting to become red and puffy. "Pit, thank you."

"No problem, Zelda. Just remember that everything is going to be alright." Pit said as he left.

 

As Pit left Zelda's room, he heard more of the residents up and sobbing, and he felt even more guilty and sad. He looked at his bowl of ice cream, or rather, what's left of it. 

"Now I need more ice cream for myself." Pit said, trying not to cry himself.

 

Later on, all of the smashers came out of their rooms, with half of them having puffy eyes and dried tears on their faces. They took their time going downstairs to the entrance of the mansion, with Master Hand appearing and waiting for them.

 

"THANK YOU ALL FOR FINALLY ARRIVING. I UNDERSTAND THAT THESE PAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN HARD FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. CRAZY HAND AND I ARE ALSO SADDENED BY THIS MATTER, AND WE ARE BOTH DEEPLY SORRY THAT YOU ALL HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH THIS LOSS.

 

SO, AS A GIFT BY US BOTH, WE DECIDED TO PUT A PICTURE UP IN THE MAIN HALL. PLEASE DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO YOUR RIGHT." Master Hand said this as he turned the direction he told the residents to turn to. Behind him on the wall was a black curtain with a rod to open it up.

 

"WE HOPE YOU ALL LIKE THIS GIFT." Master Hand said as he opened the curtain. The curtain revealed a big picture of Etika with all of the smashers, with a huge caption reading 'JoyCon Boyz Forever'. He had a huge smile on his face as he was hive-fiving Mario, having a red alternate costume of Robyn and Corrina giving him kisses on his cheeks with everyone cheering in the background. The art looked like it came out of a beautifully animated Japanese anime. Everyone looked upon the big picture with joy and sadness.

 

"IS THIS PICTURE ALRIGHT?" Master Hand asked.

 

"It's perfect." Zelda said, tears streaming down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R.I.P Etika. It was so upsetting to hear about the news. I wanted to make a chapter in memorial for him. He was a major Super Smash Bros. fan, so it only felt right for me to do it. I don't know if any one of you have seen it yet, but people have left clown emojis on Twitter (I think, it's either that or on YouTube to my knowledge) about his death, which is really idiotic and immature. I know it has been said over and over, but mental health is important. Social media can be/is extremely dangerous and can take over your mindset. Take a break. Go for a walk. Talk to someone face to face. Do literally anything but be in front of a screen. And talk to anyone that will listen to your troubles. Please take care of yourselves. Everyone matters and someone is always there for you whether you realize it or not.


	6. That One Time Conker Was Drunk Driving (Diddy, Donkey, K. Rool, Banjo-Kazooie, and Conker)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diddy Kong FaceTimes Banjo and Kazooie for Donkey Kong and K.Rool so they can tell the story of the time Conker was drunk driving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapters will be the prompts for those that sent them in. I'm sorry for prolonging this, but I just wanted to get this chapter out of the way.

6. That One Time Conker Was Drunk Driving (Diddy, Donkey, K. Rool, Banjo-Kazooie, and Conker)

* * *

It was another seemingly ordinary day in the Smash Mansion, or as ordinary as it could get, anyway. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong were both hanging out in Diddy’s room.

 

“Ooook ook ook oook! (Diddy! Can you call Banjo and Kazooie? I haven’t talked to them in forever!)” Donkey Kong asked.

 

“Eeeek! Eek ek eek eeek. (Sure! Let me dial them up.)” Diddy said as he started to call them. Suddenly, K. Rool kicks down Diddy’s door.

“You’re calling Banjo-Kazooie?! Count me in!” K. Rool announced.

 

“EEK! EEEEEKK! EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (LEARN HOW TO KNOCK NEXT TIME! NOW I NEED A NEW DOOR! THANKS A LOT!) Diddy had screeched.

“Ooook oook ook? (How did you even hear us?)” Donkey Kong asked.

“You guys are pretty loud for a bunch of damn dirty apes.” K. Rool told them, to which Diddy was screeching at even more for the nickname.

 

Before things could escalate even further, Banjo and Kazooie finally answered. “What up, losers?” Kazooie asked.

“Kazooie!” Banjo called out. Kazooie was the only one out of the two that was on the small phone screen. Banjo was offscreen cooking dinner.

 

“BANJO AND KAZOOIE!” K. Rool shouted.

“OOOOOK OOOK OK! (HOW ARE YOU GUYS?)” Donkey Kong asked.

“EEEEEEK EEEEEEK EEEEK! (GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!) Diddy Kong yelled.

 

Kazooie covered her ears from all of the yelling. “Do you three understand the meaning of having an ‘inside voice’? I’m surprised that you haven’t blown out everyone’s ear drums by now.”

“Eeeeek eeeek eeekkk! (Sorry, it’s just been awhile!)” Diddy said.

“You literally saw us both last week at the orientation.”

“Oooook ooook ooook ook. (We know, but it was the first time in YEARS that we’ve seen you both.)” Donkey Kong said.

“We know. It’s good to see you guys too.” Kazooie said.

“Same here!” Banjo said offscreen.

 

“Eeeeeek eeeek eeek eek? (Has anything interesting happened before you guys got accepted to Smash?) Diddy asked.

“Not really. Aside from the ‘Nuts & Bolts’ flop, we haven’t really been in action a lot. Gruntilda’s dead, Tooty’s well, so is Bottles and Mumbo. Banjo and I still have adventures from time to time to stay in shape.” Kazooie explained. A minute later, Banjo finally came onscreen after finishing cooking.

 

“How’s Conker? Do you guys talk to him?” K. Rool asked.

“Yeah. All the time, actually. He suffers from neglect more than we do, though. He hasn’t had a new game in years. Well, there was one attempt to get him back in action, but it didn’t do so well.” Banjo admitted.

“Ooooh! Banjo! Let me tell them the story about Conker and his ‘driving problem’.” Kazooie smirked.

“Eeeek eeek eek? (Conker has a driving problem?)” Diddy asked.

“Ooook oook oook ook? (Well, he _does_ drink…)” Donkey Kong mentioned.

“Yeah, he drinks a fuckton.” Kazooie said while giving a shit-eating grin to Banjo.

“Kazooie! Don’t swear!” Banjo scolded Kazooie.

“Why not? In a few months we’ll be with a bunch of fuckers who can’t stop fucking cursing like nobody’s fucking business.”

“Kazooie!!”

“But anyway, remember our old racing days, Diddy? Well, we tried to relive it by getting the old gang back together and have a race again for old time’s sake!”

 

“Eeeeeeek eeeek! Eeeeeek eeeek? (That’s awesome! How did it go?”) Diddy asked.

“It went great! Everyone showed up, surprisingly. It felt good to see them all again. They all said hey, by the way. But when we were racing, Conker was swerving more than usual when he drives. He yelled out a lot of slurs, threw a lot of bottles on the road, and he surprisingly didn’t crash. At all. He must be a pro at drunk driving or whatever.”

“I mean, he’s an alcoholic, Kazooie. He’s probably done drunk driving before. If he hasn’t, that would be a shock to everyone, given his reputation.”

“That’s true. My favorite slur he yelled out was ‘Fuck you bitch! Give me money and nobody gets hurt!’ Tiptup and Pipsy were going to give him money, too. AND HE USED HIS VOMIT TO SLIP UP OTHERS! That’s the funny part!”

“Kazooie, one, that’s gross. And two, it isn’t nice to talk about Conker this way…”

“What?! It’s true! And funny! How can you _not_ talk about someone like Conker?! He doesn’t give a damn if people talk about him, anyway.”

 

“Eeeeeeek eeeeek eeeek eeeeek? (So I missed all the good stuff, huh?)” Diddy asked.

“Yeah. Sorry dude. But hey! You’re always welcome to visit us to race!” Kazooie said.

“Can’t. We’re under house arrest for a month by Master Hand because of the food fight you all witnessed the end of.” K. Rool explained.

Kazooie busted out laughing. “Really?! Sucks to be you guys!”

“Kazooie! I’m sorry that you all had to go through that, though. What happened?”

“Wario and Dark Pit were arguing and things escalated.” K. Rool said.

“Eeeeeek eeeeek eeeeek! (I threw banana peels at others and made them slip!)” Diddy laughed.

“Oooook, oooook oooooo oooo oook. (Yeah, and you’ve been getting death threats the past week because of it.)” Donkey Kong said.

“Eeeeek eeeek eeeeee eeeeek. (You say that as if I care, Donkey.)”

“Guys, Kazooie’s getting ideas now.” Banjo said.

“Come on, Banjo! They have food fights! FUCKING FOOD FIGHTS! Where’s your sense of fun?!”

“Slipping on banana peels and injuring others and getting death threats aren’t fun.”

“It’s fun to me. That’s all that matters.” Kazooie and Banjo started to bicker over the matter while Conker opened the door to Banjo’s house, clearly drunk.

 

“Ugh…am I home?” Conker asked.

Everyone just looked at him in shock. “Speak of the devil.” Kazooie said, smirking. This day just keeps getting better and better.

“I don’t feel so good...hey, are you a red robin? Can I place my order?” Conker asked Kazooie with a slurred speech.

“Watch it, you alcoholic nutjob, or I’ll give you an order you didn’t ask for.” Kazooie threatened.

“Conker, your house is 5 miles from here. How did you get all the way here?” Banjo asked.

“Holy shit! A bear! I need a new throw rug anyway! I’ll place my order later, red robin!” Conker said, taking out his chainsaw with Banjo and Kazooie screaming as the FaceTime cut off abruptly.

 

Diddy, Donkey Kong, and K. Rool stared at the screen with awe. Sure, it was good to see their friends again, but wow. Kazooie curses all the damn time, Conker is a full-time alcoholic, and Banjo is more or less the same (thank god). Where did the time go? Are they really out of touch with their old friends?

 

“…At least Conker didn’t get invited to Smash.” K. Rool said, to which Donkey Kong and Diddy agreed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Kazooie says fuck. Conker is more of an alcoholic than he was originally because he’s Conker. And Banjo is the only sane guy (for now at least). Don’t worry, though. You guys will see more of Conker soon.
> 
> Once again, the next chapters will be the prompts!


	7. The Kings (and Queen) of Pranks (Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings prank various Smash Mansion residents. Hilarity ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha ha prepare for the cringe
> 
> Coming up with some of these pranks was hard so bare with me please. I had to look up some pranks. Hope y'all like it!

7. The Kings (and Queen) of Pranks (Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings)

* * *

Bowser Jr., Lemmy, and Iggy sat in the living room of the Smash Mansion. Lemmy and Iggy were playing a weird little game with each other, with Bowser Jr. drawing. He eventually got bored and constantly kept doing double takes between his drawings and the game they were playing.

 

“What are you two weirdos doing?! Don’t you have anything better to do?!” Bowser Jr. eventually snapped.

“We were just doing a secret handshake, Junior.” Lemmy said.

“Ha ha, yeah, _handshake_. Is that what you nerds call it?” Roy walked in with Wendy. “More like you geeks are playing pattycake!”

“We aren’t Roy! Go annoy someone else!” Iggy said.

“Of course you’re familiar with pattycake, Roy. You do it all the time in your room.” Wendy said, to which everyone laughed at.

Roy fumed with anger. “Watch it, sister! I ain’t afraid to pummel a girl!”

“I’m just saying it how it is, darling! You’re sooooo loud almost every night! I can barely get any beauty sleep!”

“You’re going to _need_ beauty sleep if you don’t shut up!”

“Oh? Do I need to say whose name you call out for when you do it?”

 

Suddenly (and luckily for Roy), Ludwig, Morton, and Larry walked in the room. “What up, losers?” Larry asked.

“Wow. The gang’s all here.” Lemmy said.

“Awwwww! Just as it was getting juicy!” Iggy said in disappointment.

“Juicy as in meat? Are you eating ribs?!” Morton asked hungrily.

“No, you moron! Wendy was talking about Roy playing pattycake by himself at night…although I’m confused. Don’t you need another person to play pattycake with?” Bowser Jr. asked, to which everyone laughed at. “What’s so funny?!”

“…I’m not even going to entertain what Wendy and Roy are up to. So, other than that, what are you all up to?” Ludwig asked.

“I was drawing and Lemmy and Iggy were doing a secret handshake. But I’m getting bored!” Bowser Jr. said.

“Then do something else, Junior.” Ludwig said.

“I have a suggestion, Lord Junior! Why not pull some pranks?” Larry suggested.

“Now THERE’S a bright idea! Finally, someone who shares the same brain I do! ... So to speak.” Junior said.

“Pranks?! Hahaha! I’m the prankmiester in these parts! We’re gonna prank the pants off of everyone in this mansion!” Iggy boasted, and everyone was eager to follow him.

Well, everyone except for Ludwig, of course.

“This cannot end well.” Ludwig said as he followed his siblings out of the room.

 

 

Later on, the Koopalings and Junior were setting up their pranks. Each of them set up different pranks, and yes, that includes Ludwig and Wendy.

Lemmy was skipping along the hallways of the mansion, looking for his victim. It was going to be the first person he could find that would be so _gullible and naïve_ as to fall for—

Oh look. It’s Diddy Kong.

Well, he wasn’t _completely_ naïve and gullible, but still. Lemmy saw him first.

Lemmy skips up to Diddy with two soda cans in his hand. “Hey, Diddy! I got two soda cans from King Dad because he wants me to learn how to share with others. Want one?”

Diddy was immediately suspicious. He knew Bowser wasn’t the type to care about sharing, much less would he want any one of his kids to participate in acts of kindness. “Eeeek eeek eek? (What’s the catch?)” Diddy asked, deadpan.

“No catch! To be honest, I just really can’t find my siblings to give this extra can to and I don’t want it. So if you want it, the offer still stands.”

“Eeee… eeek. (Well…ok then.)” Diddy took the can from Lemmy and he opened it as it sprayed all over his face. Lemmy fell over laughing.

“I can’t believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book! What a silly monkey!” Lemmy said as he got into his clown car and sped off in it.

Diddy growled and started to chase after him, but it was too late as Lemmy already disappeared.

“Eeeee eee. Eeeek. Eeeek eek. (Oh well. I’ll worry about him later. I got a free drink.)” Diddy said as he drank the soda, but as soon as he was done, he got a black ring around his lips from the can.

 

 

Larry was known for loving parties (but then again, who doesn’t)? He was mostly known for DJ-ing, food and drinks, etc. Another one of the things he was known for was decorating. He was a great decorator, as he would provide the visibly appealing art for others to gawk at.

Larry’s victim was someone that you wouldn’t want to piss off or even pull a prank on. Not even someone you’d want to make a joke with.

He was pranking Ridley.

Was it a death wish? No, because if Ridley came after him, he and his siblings along with their dad would handle him.

Just a few minutes ago, Ridley had open his door to go participate in a stock match, so he was going to be gone for a while.

So what did Larry do? Go into his room, of course. He brought in a bunch of sky blue balloons, so much of them that he could barely fit them into his room anymore, wrapped _all_ of Ridley’s belongings in Christmas wrapping paper, and put up a banner that said ‘Larry wuz here’.

Later on, Ridley came back into his room, only to open it and be flooded with a bunch of balloons as if he was at a baby gender reveal party. As soon as the balloons were almost all out into the hallway, he looked to see that everything he owned was wrapped up in… snowman and elf themed paper of all things? AND A JOLLY RED FAT MAN? Ridley looked up and saw the banner. If Ridley hated anything more than pranks, it was seeing people jolly.

Well, not really. He hated Samus and pranks more, but you get the point.

“LARRRYYYYYY!” Ridley roared loudly as Larry was around the corner snickering to himself.

 

 

Eventually, it was lunch time in the mansion. Rosalina was going to cook for everyone in the mansion, as per usual. She was going to open the door to the kitchen, but as soon as she did…

SPLOOOSHHH!

A bucket of water was spilled onto her.  Her dress was now completely soaking wet and clinging to her body. Roy popped out from a nearby bush.

“Ha ha! Got ya, you…you…” Roy started to say until he got a good look at who his victim was. He didn’t go out of his way to prank someone specifically. He just wanted to get someone.

But he didn’t expect that someone to be a girl. And it was Rosalina, no less.

Now here he was, looking upon Rosalina’s body with a nosebleed.

“Wha—what are you doing?! You were the one behind this?! How dare you!” Rosalina said as a Luma popped up and tried to shield Rosalina’s privates from Roy’s sight, but that was short-lived as she started to throw pots and pans to shoo Roy off, with the Luma helping. Roy ran away from the sight as Rosalina sighed, embarrassed.

“Ugh…I’ve been in worse situations here.” Rosalina said as she and her Luma warped back to her room to change.

 

 

Wendy decided to use magic for her prank. She was going to take control of Peach and make her give Samus a terrible makeover.

The part where she hypnotized Peach was actually easy. When Peach came out of her room, Wendy was hiding on the on the side of the doorway before jumping out in front of a surprised Peach and using her wand to hypnotize her.

She made Peach knock on Samus’ door and through much convincing of a very stubborn Samus, Peach dragged her to her room, with Wendy following close behind and warping herself under Peach’s bed.

Peach made Samus’ eyebrows into a thick, large unibrow. She made her eyelashes bigger, too. She put a lot of red lipstick on her lips in an oval format, she put too much baby blue eyeshadow on her eyelids, and she put whiteface on her face. She then showed Samus a mirror and Samus had no reaction. She just looked up at Peach and gave her a look.

“Of course you would pull this.” Samus deadpanned as she stared at Peach with a little bit of disbelief on her face.

“Wait! I’m not finished!” Peach said as she took out a clown nose and put it on Samus’ nose. “There! Now you look like the belle of the ball! Your Prince Charming will definitely love you now!” Peach was clearly mocking Samus at this point.

 

Samus wasn’t even mad, however. Instead she got up from the chair she was in, still looking at Peach. “Peach, are you ok?” Samus had asked her as she walked closer to Peach.

“Yes, you stupid dummy! I’m just…Peachy! Ha ha!”

“You aren’t acting like yourself. Is this just a joke or…”

“Stop coming close to me! Haven’t you heard of personal space, you dumb blonde?! Are your boobs taking out all the blood from your brain or something?!”

“What?!”

“Stay away from me! I’M NOT A LESBIAN!” Peach yelled as she slapped Samus’ cheek and pushed her out of her room with all the force she could muster up. She then slammed her door in front of Samus, with her getting pissed off. Wendy then warped out of Peach’s room and into the hallway, farther down where Samus was.

 

“PEACH!!!” Samus yelled out, causing some of the residents on the floor to look at her in confusion. When she turned around with a crazed look on her face, along with her makeup, the residents were shocked.

“Ugh, Samus…you got a little,” Snake paused to motion to his whole face, “ _THAT_ on your face.”

“I know, Snake. Shut the hell up.” Samus said as she marched angrily to her room to get it off. Wendy tried her hardest to not snicker loudly.

 

 

Iggy was up next. He mixed one of his chemical experiments with Pit’s chocolate milk. Drinking it would have disastrous results! ....

Probably.

Pit was chatting with Palutena and Dark Pit while drinking his chocolate milk when all of a sudden, he turned into an eggplant. Palutena looked at Pit with surprise and Dark Pit bowled over laughing at Pit’s misfortune.

“Pit! What happened?” Palutena questioned.

“I don’t know! HELP ME, LADY PALUTENA!” Pit yelled.

Iggy ran away laughing, with Palutena looking out of the corner of her eye noticing that he ran away. However, she was the only one that noticed, as the dining hall had other people in it doing various things, and the angels were currently…occupied.

“Pit, I think I know who possibly did this to you…”

 

Ludwig really didn’t want to do anything. He really didn’t. He could be composing classical music right now. But he felt as if he had something to prove. He didn’t want to be mostly known as a ‘stick in the mud’. He could be just as mischievous as his brothers and sister.

He was a Koopaling, after all.

He was so giddy over his prank. He went into Ritcher’s room and did the unimaginable…

He taped an airhorn underneath his office-like chair and taped an airhorn to the wall where the door would open up to.

It was so diabolical, so devious, and so evil that no one would even _dare_ to think of doing something like this! Especially since the bedrooms in the mansion aren’t sound proof.

Ludwig hid behind a corner near Ritcher’s room to watch (or rather hear) what would happen went he takes a seat.

….

BWAAAAAAAA!

Ritcher yelled and jumped up and started to run out of his room, almost slamming the door against the wall.

BWAAAAAAAA!

“WHY IS EVERYTHING SO LOUD?!” Ritcher yelled as he ran out of his room down the stairs. Ludwig laughed triumphantly on his way down to the living room.

 

 

Morton took apart Oreos and scraped the cream out of the cookie and replaced the cream with toothpaste. His victim was going to be Wario. He was the greediest resident there was here, so it would make sense, right?

Morton walked up to Wario as he was picking his nose.

“Wario, want my Oreos? I don’t really want them ‘cause King Dad gave them to me and he wanted me to share them with my brothers and sister. I can’t find them, though. They must be off doing fun things. They all spend time with each other and I’m like the black sheep with them. I’m not involved with what they do because—“

“ALRIGHT-A! I’ll-a take the stupid Oreos-a! JUST SHUT-A UP ALREADY!!!” Wario shouted as he started to scarf down the Oreos, only to stop after a few seconds of doing so and started to slightly gag. “What’s-a up with these-a Oreos-a?” Wario asked.

“It’s filled with toothpaste.”

“TOOTHPASTE?!” Wario yelled out as he spit it out.

“You need the toothpaste anyway, Wario. Your teeth are the shade of corn!” Wendy said, laughing.

“Why you little-!” Wario said as he lunged after the two and started chasing them.

 

 

Bowser Jr. was the last one to pull a prank on someone. And of course, he pulled it on his archenemy Mario.

He placed a lot of fake cockroaches in his room.

As Mario walked to his room, he found a lot of cockroaches in his room, which surprisingly didn’t faze him.

As he was about to turn around, he was met with all of the Koopalings and Junior with pies in their hands.

SPLAT!

All of them hit Mario with pies so hard that he stumbled back into his room covered in pie remains. The Koopalings all ran off laughing madly, with Palutena noticing.

“I knew it…”

 

 

“So, they pranked us, huh?” Peach asked. Diddy, Ridley, Rosalina, Samus, Pit, Ritcher, and Mario were meeting in the dining hall about the pranks that happened recently. Palutena had gathered every smasher that was unlucky to be a victim of the pranks (sans Wario because whatever happened to him he usually deserved it).

 

“Yeah, they have.” Palutena confirmed.

“How do we get them back?” Samus was one of the most desperate ones to know.

“Eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee! (Make them slip on bananas!)” Diddy said.

“Put makeup on them and see how they like it!” Samus said.

“Spray paint their rooms?” Pit suggested.

“Maybe just ignore it?” Rosalina suggested.

“Rosalina, a bucket of cold water was dumped onto you and it clinged onto your body revealing your privates. It’s time for revenge.” Samus said.

“Guys, you all have good ideas, but I just want to keep it plain and simple. Something that just gives them a warning.” Palutena said before she told the others here plan.

 

Later on, the Koopalings were in the living room again.

“You’ve should’ve seen Ridley’s reaction! It was PRICELESS! You can’t find stuff like that on TV!” Larry said.

“The Peach and Samus situation was the best ever! I wish I had a camera!” Wendy said with glee.

“The Mario prank will always be a favorite in my book!” Junior said, laughing.

Suddenly, a bomb was thrown at the Koopalings, releasing knockout gas on them all. They all eventually fell unconscious due to the smell. Palutena and Samus then came up to them with gas masks on, looking at each other and nodding with markers and chains in their hands.

 

Later on, the Koopalings woke up with each of them chained to each other outside of Bowser’s door. Junior was the first to wake up. He couldn’t move so he looked around and saw that each of the Koopalings had writing on their faces, which would’ve been funny if it didn’t happen to them. A note was on the floor in front of Junior.

 

‘The jokes are on you all now!

\- Anonymous’

 

It must’ve been the people they’d pranked! They’re definitely in for it now…

Well, at least later on when they weren’t tied up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a prompt. The funny thing is I was planning to do this chapter further down the line, but here we are lmao.


	8. The Necessary (and Late) Fourth of July Chapter (Everyone)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Fourth of July chapter 10 days after the 4th of July.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to upload this chapter and get this out of the way. Sorry if it feels rushed at some parts, but my computer shut down on me so I lost the work I had for this chapter and other chapters I had planned.

8\. The Necessary (and Late) Fourth of July Chapter (Everyone)

* * *

Master Hand was being unusually cruel with his punishment. When a resident would ask about seeing the fireworks, he would respond with ‘WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD’VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU TOOK PART OF THE FOOD FIGHT’. It didn’t even have to be all day. They just wanted to get out of the mansion to see the fireworks.

 

This caused everyone to particularly hate Dark Pit and Wario the most today. They were getting death glares so hard that it could be burned into their heads. But since everyone hated Wario and Dark Pit hated everyone already, it didn’t make that much of a difference.

Pit got some glares to, but not as intense as the other two. The glares were mostly from the villains. Pit just chose to hide around Palutena for the day just in case the villains tried something.

 

At this point, everyone had appointed Palutena and the villagers to do fireworks this year. Palutena didn’t mind, being that she would never run out of fireworks because she’s a goddess, but the villagers would eventually run out since they got put on firework duty so late.

 

“Geez, Mario, Master Hand is treating this situation too seriously. Aren’t we being punished enough? We can’t go anywhere.” Sonic said.

“Sonic, there was food on the-a _ceiling and chandelier._ I didn’t think he would let us off that-a easily.” Mario admitted.

“Yeah, but at least we cleaned it up!”

“Yeah, hours after the new DLC characters saw the whole thing-a.”

“Well, why don’t you ask Master Hand if we can go out for fireworks? You’re basically the teachers’ pet to him out of everyone here.”

 

Mario didn’t want to admit it, but since he was the most popular character in the mansion, Master Hand took a liking to him the most. It always seemed like Master Hand would let Mario do whatever he wanted without any punishment, which of course some residents in the mansion got jealous over. However, Mario would never take advantage of Master Hand like everyone here would, because he was nice and he respected Master Hand enough not to do so.

 

“I would, but I-a feel like he would say no, even to-a me.”

“No, he would say yes to you. You’re the literally the god of video games and a trophy boy, so he _has_ to say yes.”

“Tro-trophy boy?!” Mario stuttered at the weird nickname. He’s been called a lot of things before, but surprisingly never that. Well, not within earshot, at least.

“Hello Mario. Hello Sonic.” Palutena walked into the living room with Pit latching onto her arm. “Pit, nothing is going to happen to you. You can let go of my arm now.”

“I can’t! Ridley is going to stab me through the chest when he gets the chance! I just know it!” Pit said.

Palutena rolled her eyes while Mario and Sonic looked at him in confusion. “Ever since the food fight situation, he’s scared that one of the villains will go after him, so he needs me for ‘protection’, _but he doesn’t need it_.” Palutena emphasized, to which they understood.

“What are you guys talking about?” Pit asked, trying to deter the conversation from him.

“We’re talking about how Mario should ask Master Hand if we can go out for fireworks. He ought to say yes to someone like him.” Sonic said.

“That’s… actually not a bad idea. You should give it a shot, Mario.” Palutena said.

“See? Even Palutena agrees! If we were to ask anyone else in the mansion, they’re bound to say yes.”

“Alright-a. I’ll ask him-a.” Mario said as he went to the entrance of the mansion as he called out for Master Hand. Unsurprisingly, he only had to call him once before he appeared.

 

“HELLO, MARIO. DID YOU NEED SOMETHING FROM ME?” Master Hand asked.

“Uh, yes. Seeing as how today is the 4th of July, could you maybe let us go out to see the fireworks-a?” Mario asked, to which Master Hand didn’t answer to for a few minutes, causing Mario, Sonic, Pit, and Palutena to be nervous.

“…I’LL LET YOU GO OUT AND SEE THEM. EVERYONE ELSE STAYS INSIDE.”

“But everyone deserves to see the fireworks-a! Why am I the only one-a that gets to see them?”

“BECAUSE YOU WERE A VICTIM IN THE FOOD FIGHT. I KNOW YOU WOULDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG.”

“Not true-a! I threw food at other people, too-a!”

“I DIDN’T SEE YOU.”

“You-a didn’t see other people either! You just chose to punish everyone else-a but me!”

“NOT TRUE. YOU AT LEAST FOLLOW THE RULES.”

“Look, Master Hand, can you at least let us out-a for an hour to see the fireworks? Maybe two?”

Sonic, Palutena, and Pit held their breath, because hearing Master Hand talk now could have this go either way. Mario didn’t show it, but he was getting irritated and nervous. Mostly irritated.

“…..ALL RIGHT. TWO HOURS MAXIMUM. AND NOT A MINUTE LATER.” Master Hand finally relented. “I SHALL SET UP THE FIREWORKS LATER TONIGHT.” Master Hand said as he disappeared. Mario was then greeted by a group hug by Sonic, Palutena, and Pit.

“Knew he couldn’t say no to you, trophy boy.” Sonic smirked.

“Yes! The fireworks are back on!” Pit gleefully said.

 

 

Later on that day, or rather night, everyone was getting ready for the fireworks. Everyone had on either summer themed or 4th of July clothes and was extremely excited to finally get out of the house, even if it was just for 2 hours.

“I’m still surprised Mario convinced him to let us come out.” Rosalina asked as she prepared food and treats for the Smashers.

“Yeah. But Master Hand and Mario are extremely close, so there’s no surprise there.” Palutena said before she took a bite out of her hotdog.

“ALRIGHT, EVERYONE, THE FIREWORKS ARE GOING TO START, SO GET READY.” Master Hand said as he shot off the extremely large pack of fireworks he had, to which everyone was in awe of the display.

Pit was looking at the fireworks as he was on his way to the snack table, but he accidentally bumped into Ridley, who was snarling as soon as he locked eyes with him.

“Ridley! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to—“ Pit was suddenly interrupted by Ridley throwing him over to the fireworks and tipping them over, causing them to shoot off sideways towards the fighters. Multicolored beams of light across the land, with fighters doing their best to avoid them and reflecting them away, so fireworks were basically shot back and forth. Lots of screaming was heard, but some of the Smashers were having fun with this situation.

Master Hand, fortunately, was confused on how this happened. He didn’t see Ridley launching Pit, but he tried his best to keep the fireworks from actually hurting anybody.

The snack table was used as a shield for some Smashers, and as Mario hid behind it, he found Sonic there.

“Best 4th of July ever.” Sonic said sarcastically.


	9. The DLC Club (Piranha Plant and the DLC Gang)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piranha Plant makes a club for himself and the new DLC characters of Smash. Somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although Piranha Plant is technically DLC, I don’t include him (yes it’s a guy) with the 5 DLC fighters because they’re a part of the DLC pass. It’s different with him to me because he was free but the others cost money so eh. Also this was a requested chapter and I tried to rattle my brain for an ok enough chapter, so hope you like!

9\. The DLC Club (Piranha Plant and the DLC Gang)

* * *

 

 

Piranha Plant had completely forgotten that there were supposed to be more DLC characters, so having Joker in was a complete surprise. Sure, Joker was the talk of the mansion ever since his reveal, but Piranha Plant never cared about the newcomers. Why should he anyway? It’s just more people to bite.

At least, at first he didn’t care. Joker noticed the Piranha Plant and how he stuck out like a sore thumb (or at least with most of the people of the mansion, he stuck out) and Joker decided to spend time with him. He sat next to him at lunch, offered to feed and water him, and took him places outside of the mansion. Piranha Plant slowly warmed up to Joker, eventually leading them to close friends.

 

That day Master Hand showed off the Dragon Quest group and Banjo-Kazooie as newcomers changed something in Piranha Plant. He practically silently begged to get the contact information of them, seeing as how Joker was pretty cool himself, the newcomers must be too, right?

 

Joker agreed to do it. What harm could it do to know your soon-to-be comrades, right?

Then he called FaceTime’d them all one day with Piranha Plant.

“…What up, Joker boy? Where’s your green hair?” Kazooie asked as she appeared on the screen.

“Kazooie, you know he’s not _that_ kind of Joker, right?” Banjo said as he sat down on his couch with two bowls of soup on his table for them both.

“Are you sure, Banjo? Maybe he dyed his hair!”

“No, Kazooie. I’m not _that_ kind of Joker.” Joker admitted with a slight chuckle.

“Hey! At least Joker isn’t some annoying red robin that has bulgy eyes!” Morgana countered.

“Who’s eyes are you calling bulgy, you bug eyed cat? Your eyes are bigger than my head.a” Kazooie spat back.

“Morgana, go make us some sandwiches. Piranha Plant is getting hungry.” Joker said.

“Can’t you make them yourself?”

“No, we’re talking right now. Go make us some sandwiches, now.”

“Ugh. Fineeeee.” Morgana said as he left to go to the kitchen.

Piranha Plant looked at Joker with a questioning look. “That was to get rid of him.” Joker admitted to which Piranha Plant understood.

“Finally! I felt like I was gonna barf after seeing him.” Kazooie said.

“You’re not exactly innocent either, Kazooie!” Banjo said.

“Anyway, how are you guys?” Joker said, trying to change the subject.

“Good, how about you guys?” Banjo asked.

“Good.”

“Are you guys still on punishment by the Mickey Mouse glove?” Kazooie asked.

“Master Hand? No, the punishment has since lifted, thank god for that, too. It felt like almost everyone here was slowly going insane.”

“Wow. It was that bad, huh?” Banjo asked.

“To be honest, yeah. When you’re cooped up here with annoying neighbors, it’s bad.”

“Oh! Speaking of neighbors, can you tell us what everyone here is like?”

“Wait, Diddy and Donkey Kong didn’t tell you about everyone here?”

“No. The video got cut off by an… unexpected guest.”

Joker was confused, but didn’t question it any further. “Oh. Well, we can’t discuss _just_ yet. I have to call the Hero.” Joker said as he called the Dragon Quest group.

“Hello, Joker.” Luminary answered. Erdrick, Solo, and Eight were also in the background, but they were polishing their swords while answering with their own hellos.

“Hello, Luminary, Erdrick, Solo, and Eight.” Joker greeted with Piranha Plant waving in the background.

“Who’s the plant?” Kazooie asked.

“That’s Piranha Plant. He really wanted to meet you guys.” Joker said as the pointed to the plant who was smiling bashfully.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you to, Piranha Plant.” Luminary chuckled.

“So Luminary, are you guys ready to come in the mansion tomorrow?”

“Yeah! It’s pretty exciting. Our bags are packed and everything. Can’t wait to live with you guys.”

“Oh sure, rub it in our faces that you can get your rooms before we can, why don’tcha?” Kazooie said sarcastically.

“Kazooie, we’ll be in soon. Be patient.” Banjo scolded her.

“Can you tell us what the mansion is like? You know, now that everyone is finally here?” Kazooie asked.

“Yeah, I want to know what our soon-to-be-roommates will be like!” Erdrick added.

“Well, if I sat here explaining each and every single one of them, we’d be here until night. But to put it simply, there’s the villains who don’t care about anyone’s feelings and hate all the good guys, the good guys who have inferiority issues or are somewhat secretive, and anti-heroes who are edgy or sexy at the same time.”

“Wow. That’s…erm, interesting.” Luminary said, trying not to offend Joker or Piranha Plant.

“Now I _want_ to see what everyone is like!” Kazooie said, her interest showing in her voice.

“We will soon, Kazooie.” Banjo reassured her.

“You’ll all fit in here, I know it. There’s a lot of nice people here, and the good guys often outweigh the bad, so there won’t be any issues with them. Sometimes, at least. Just don’t go out of your way to piss them off.” Joker said.

“Got it.” Luminary said.

“Hear that, Kazooie?” Banjo called her out.

“Well, where’s the fun in _not_ pissing people off and _not_ creating drama?” Kazooie asked.

“Yep. You’ll make a swell addition to the mansion.” Joker sarcastically remarked.

“What are our rooms like?” Solo finally piped in.

“They’re big enough to get a lot of things inside, and you’ll all get a separate room from what I’ve heard.”

“What do you guys do for fun? You know, aside from food fights?”

“We go out and shop or hang with friends, do yoga, have club meetings, etcetera.”

“What clubs do you guys have?” Solo asked.

“There’s a lot of clubs here. The swordsmen club, the gun club, one of the princesses here have a tea party every now and then. You can even start your own club here.”

“Amazing. There’s something here for everyone, isn’t there?” Banjo asked.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“I can’t wait to see you guys again. You know, not covered in food from head to toe.” Eight said, to which everyone chuckled at.

Just then, Rosalina and Luma came in the dining room. “Joker, Piranha Plant, bedtime is in 5 minutes.” She said before pausing. “Are those the newcomers?” She looked at the screen.

“Yeah. Say hi.” Joker said.

“Hello. I’m Rosalina, I am a watcher of the cosmos, adoptive mother of the Lumas,” she paused to show off her Luma, “and I command a Comet Observatory that flies through space every 100 years.” Rosalina smiled.

The newcomers were speechless. Rosalina was certainly older than she looked.

“Wow. That’s-“

“Kazooie, I swear, it better not be offensive.” Banjo silently warned her.

“-pretty cool, actually.” Kazooie continued.

Banjo was shocked that Kazooie said something that _wasn’t_ an insult for once.

Rosalina smiled. “Thank you. I would love to stay and talk more, but I got to give Luma a bath.” Rosalina said as she left.

“Well, I guess we should go, too. Master Hand might get mad at us for staying up. But we should make this a thing between all of us.”

“Sounds good with me.” Kazooie said, to which Banjo nodded in agreement at.

“Sounds great.” Luminary said.

“Well, uh…see you guys.” Joker said awkwardly as everyone else said their goodbyes and signed off.

Joker then looked at Piranha Plant. “You’re lucky you can’t talk, otherwise you would’ve been on your own with the talking.” Joker said as he walked off with Piranha Plant upstairs.

After they left, Morgana came out with ham sandwiches.

“Ugh, it took a while, but I made the friggin’ sandwiches you wanted. Since you didn’t tell me what you wanted, I just made ham for you and your stupid friend.” Morgana said as he looked at the dining hall that was completely empty with the lights turned off.

“Joker? Big lipped plant?” Morgana called as his voice echoed throughout the dining hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH I’M DONE AND IT WAS SEMI CRINGEY BUT I DON’T CARE I LIKE IT OVERALL. Sorry for taking so long with this request. I wanted to make it at least decent enough and I had to scrap a lot of ideas. Also this was just in time for The Hero's release tomorrow!


	10. The Hero Moves In! (Mostly the Dragon Quest Gang)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dragon Quest Gang officially moves into the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Erdrick’s name is now officially Arusu, but I prefer Erdrick better.

10. The Hero Moves In! (Mostly the Dragon Quest Gang)

* * *

Luminary, Erdrick, Solo, and Eight couldn’t believe it. They were standing outside of the ginormous mansion. It was like a dream come true. Luminary looked at the others with a smile as they returned the expression. They walked up to the mansion and opened the doors with Master Hand being in the foyer.

“WELCOME, DRAGON QUEST HEROES. I, ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE IN THE MANSION, ARE GLAD YOU’RE NOW OFFICALLY GOING TO LIVE HERE AMONG GREAT HEROES. NOW COME FOLLOW ME. I WILL NOW GIVE YOU A COMPLETE TOUR OF THE WHOLE MANSION.” Master Hand said as he began to show off the rooms the mansion had to offer.

 

It was basic as you would expect. Master Hand showed off the dining room, living room, pool, yoga and dance studio, wine cellar, gym, theater--- in other words to the Dragon Quest gang, this place had it all. It certainly had more than meets the eye outside. The mansion was very spacious and had everything anyone could ever ask for.

“AND NOW, AS THE FINAL PART OF THIS TOUR, I WILL SHOW YOU YOUR ROOMS.” Master Hand said as he had them follow him upstairs and down the hallway to show them their room doors. There were 4 different doors with Luminary, Erdrick, Solo, and Eight’s names on them, along with their number and ‘Hero’ in parentheses.

They walked into their rooms only to find out that they were bland. Like Joker said before, their rooms were big. But they were also bland. The only items in their rooms was a dresser, mirror, bed, and closet.

The heroes then came out of their rooms.

“I KNOW THAT YOUR ROOMS MAY LOOK UNINTERESTING NOW, BUT I LEFT THEM THAT WAY SO YOU COULD BE CREATIVE ENOUGH TO ADD WHATEVER YOU WANT TO YOUR ROOMS. OF COURSE, IF YOU WANT FURNITURE, YOU CAN ALWAYS ASK ME FOR SOME.” Master Hand said.

“Can you give me a cage for Munchie?” Eight asked.

Then, Master Hand summoned a cage in front of Eight with the snap of his fingers. The Dragon Quest group were in awe of his magic all they all started to ask for things for their rooms at once, to which Master Hand granted just about every request.

 

Meanwhile, Pit was in Palutena’s room, listening to the commotion outside.

“Why wasn’t Master Hand this generous when we moved into this bigger and better mansion?” Pit asked, his voice laced with jealousy.

“That’s because we’re not newcomers anymore, Pit. Didn’t you notice that he only gives the special treatment to the newcomers of Smash?” Palutena asked.

“Yes, but don’t you think that he could at least be a little bit nicer to us?”

“Well, that’s true. But hey, he seems to have been a _little_ bit nicer since your incident.”

“AW COME ON! Is everyone going to keep talking about that?!”

“Don’t worry Pit. Before you know it, everyone will stop talking about it and something else will happen. That’s how it always goes around here.”

Pit stayed silent. He wanted to believe her, but certain things that happened in this mansion have stuck with everyone forever. Doing some things here would be considered a social suicide. But, no matter what happens, he knew he would always be safe with Palutena around.

Suddenly, they both heard Master Hand speak again.

“ALRIGHT. NOW THAT YOU ALL ARE COMPLETELY SATISFIED WITH YOUR ROOMS, I SHALL GO. I SUGGEST YOU MEET YOUR OTHER FELLOW SMASHERS. SOME OF THEM HAVE BEEN DYING TO MEET YOU.” Master Hand said as he disappeared.

“Finally! Lady Palutena, let’s go officially meet the newcomers!” Pit said as he opened Palutena’s door, only to find a red blur run down the hallway.

“What was that?” Palutena gasped in surprise.

“I’m not sure.” Pit said as he saw clearly who the blur was. It was none other than Mario. Pit finally moved out of the hallway and Palutena stepped out as well.

“Of course. Mario never misses a cue to greet newcomers first.” Palutena said as she went down the hallway to meet the Dragon Quest group with Pit following behind.

“Hello! It’s-a me, Mario! Welcome to the-a Smash Mansion!” Mario greeted the Dragon Quest gang with a wide smile.

“Hello, Mario. I’m Luminary, Eleven or Hero if you prefer.”

“I’m Arusu, but call me Erdrick.”

“I’m Solo.”

“And I’m Eight.”

Each of them shook Mario’s hand as Pit and Palutena finally arrived to the group.

“Hello. My name is Palutena. This is Pit, captain of my guard and my literal angel.” Palutena introduced.

“Whoa! Cool outfits and swords!” Pit complimented.

“Thank you. I’m---“ Luminary started but was interrupted by Palutena.

“Oh I know who you all are. You’re Luminary, you’re Erdrick, you’re Solo, and you’re Eight. And Eight, your pet is named Munchie.” Palutena said to which the Dragon Quest gang was creeped out by.

“She’s an all seeing-a goddess.” Mario explained, to which they were all relieved by.

The next duo (or rather trio) to come out of their rooms was Joker (with Morgana of course), and Piranha Plant, to which the latter was ecstatic to see the newcomers had finally arrived. He ran up to the Dragon Quest quartet and hugged Luminary’s legs. Joker simply walked up to them. “He’s affectionate. I hope you guys don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” Luminary chuckled, to which he bent down to return the hug.

“Glad to see that you’re finally getting settled in here.” Joker said.

“Well, sort of. We still didn’t meet everyone else here.” Luminary said.

“That’s gonna take a while. There’s like 70 of us here.” Pit said.

“Wow. This’ll take all day then.” Solo chuckled.

“Where is everyone?” Erdrick asked.

“In their rooms. Master Hand didn’t want anyone to come out until the tour was over.” Pit said.

Just then, Rosalina came out of her room with her Luma. She stopped when she saw the group at the end of the hall and she flew over to them.

“Hello! Welcome to the mansion, newcomers! It is so nice to finally meet you all!” Rosalina greeted.

“Hello, Rosalina. We haven’t been properly introduced last night. I’m Luminary, that’s Erdrick, that’s Solo, and that’s Eight.” Luminary introduced everyone.

“You guys should introduce yourselves to everyone downstairs. It’s almost lunch time.” Rosalina said as she and everyone else walked downstairs.

“Trust me, you guys will like it here.” Joker said to them.

“I know we will.” Luminary smiled to the others.


	11. The Smash Chat (Everyone)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chat fic part of the story.

11. The Smash Chat (Everyone)

* * *

_Master Hand has added Luminary, Erdrick, Solo, and Eight to the chat_

**Master Hand** : I HAVE ADDED THE DRAGON QUEST GROUP TO THE SMASH CHAT. FEEL FREE TO CHAT TO YOUR HEART’S CONTENT.

**Luminary:** Hello everyone.

**Lucina:** Hello Luminary.

**Falco:** Wassup

**Sonic:** WASSUPPPP

**Ness:** WASSSSSUPPPPPPP

**Lucas:** Oh my god Ness

**Duck Hunt:** Updog

**Pit:** What is updog?

**Pit:** Oh

**Dark Pit:** You’re an ****ing idiot

**Dark Pit:** **** it I still can’t cuss

**Fox** : Whenever you or someone else curses it always gets censored. What makes you think it would change?

**Wolf** : **** you

**Dark Pit:** Lmao

**Fox:** I’m going to ignore that

**Erdrick:** So what do you guys usually talk about here

**Kirby:** Pussy!!

**Erdrick:** Oh

**Bayonetta** : Now I’m intrigued

**Mario** : Who taught the little bambino that word?!

**Palutena:** Not to point the finger but

**Palutena** : It was probably @Dark Pit

**Dark Pit** : Nope

**Palutena:** Really?

**Dark Pit** : Yes

**Palutena:** Are you sure

**Dark Pit:** YES NOW SHUT THE **** UP

**Bayonetta:** Temper temper

**M Robin:** Wow

**FE Roy:** Ikr

**Dark Pit** : Are you all serious? She is so annoying

**Pit:** Don’t talk about Lady Palutena that way!

**Dark Pit:** Shut up ******

**Pit:** I don’t know what that word is….

**M Corrin** : He called you gay

**M Corrin** : In a mean way

**Pit** : I guess I am pretty happy!

**Pit:** Thanks Dark Pit!

**Pit:** Wait I reread that

**Dark Pit:** You’re an idiot

**Palutena** : I’m confused on who this really backfired on

**Mario:** We’re going off topic. Who taught Kirby that word?

**Bayonetta:** Me

**Palutena:** Of course

**Mario:** Why?????

**Bayonetta:** Because it’s fun to say

**Kirby:** Pussy!!!!11!!1!1

**Daisy:** This **** funny asf

**Bayonetta:** See? Kirby’s a funny little lad

**Marth:** Wow

**Meta Knight** : I regret reading this group chat every time

**Diddy Kong** : I dont

**Diddy Kong:** Sometimes

**Samus:** Lol

**Dark Samus:** Lol

_Samus has left the chat_

**Fox:** Why did Samus leave

**Pit:** Cause Dark Samus responded

**Lucina:** Someone add her back please

_Palutena has added Samus to the Smash Chat_

**Palutena:** You’re welcome

**Samus:** Palutena why

**Palutena** : You need to stop leaving just because Dark Samus or Ridley say something

**Ridley:** She’s a baby

**Samus:** **** YOU STUPID PIECE OF **** I’LL ****ING BLOW YOUR LIMBS OFF

**Sonic:** Oof

**Solo** : Ok then

**Palutena:** She’s always like this. Don’t mind her

**Lucas** : Kinda scary

**Dark Pit** : That’s why I like Samus

**Ridley:** cause she’s a wannabe edgelord

**Dark Pit:** No cause she’s always ready to throwdown

**Samus:** @Ridley **** you

**Ridley:** Right back at cha

**Daisy:** I agree @Dark Pit she’s perfect gf material

**Kirby:** @King Dedede RiGhT bAcK aT cHa

**Kirby:** ImMa ClObBeR tHaT tHeRe KiRbY

**King Dedede** : ….

**King Dedede** : **** you

**Luigi:** Oh my

**Falco:** I never regret looking at this chat

**Jigglypuff** : Ditto

**M Pokemon Trainer** : Ditto? Where????

**Falco** : No she was saying she agreed with me

**M Pokemon Trainer** : Oh nvm

**Jigglypuff** : No really there’s a Ditto outside the front of the mansion

**M Pokemon Trainer** : Thanks brb

**Jigglypuff** : There’s really no Ditto outside I’m going to lock him out

**Falco** : LMAO

**Sonic** : Bruh

**Jigglypuff** : He ran fast asf

**Jigglypuff:** Officially locked him out

**Sonic** : Lol

**Palutena** : Someone please let him back in

**Ness:** Okey

**Dark Pit** : Why can’t you do it

**Palutena** : Ness said he would do it

**Palutena** : And I don’t want to

**Samus** : Lol

**Dark Samus** : Lol

**Samus:** I swear to god

**Palutena** : What do you swear to me?

**Palutena** : A confession of love perhaps?

**Samus:** What? No

**Dark Pit** : @Pit your goddess is a dyke

**Dark Pit** : How is ****** censored but not dyke????

**Daisy:** Because dykes rule!

**Marth** : What about gay guys???

**Daisy:** They also rule!!!

**Morgana** : What’s this about dykes?

**Isabelle** : Is that a type of fish?

**Wario:** I’d be happy to explain

**Cloud:** Wario, if you poison that pure puppy’s mind, I will murder you.

**Wario:** It means lesbian

**Cloud:** That’s it

 

Cloud was soon heard running up to Wario’s room. Multiple screams were heard soon after. Or rather

 

**Falco:** The **** happened????

**Dark Pit** : Wario got his *** kicked by Cloud

**Falco** : Oh

**Falco** : He deserved it

**Wolf** : Heh heh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will probably be a chat chapter every ten chapters. Possibly.


	12. Reminiscing (Snake and Mega Man)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snake and Mega Man reminisce on their past love on Samus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter might be strange but we need more romance. I’m making Mega Man an adult in this story just so you know because everyone is sort of split between if he's a kid or adult. Technically he's a kid in cannon but oh well.

12. Reminiscing (Snake and Mega Man)

* * *

 

Snake was in the wine cellar of the mansion drinking, well, wine. He often drank to hopefully drown out the noises and chaos that was present in the Smash Mansion, but today was somewhat different. The wine cellar was a fan favorite room in the mansion by the adults. The room was used when the others wanted to party or felt the same way Snake did and drank to drown everything out.

 

A few minutes later, Mega Man came to the room. He was shocked to see Snake down here.

“Snake? What are you doing here?”

“I’m drinking to hopefully forget. What are you doing here?”

“Eh… the same I guess.” Mega Man said as he sat in a chair and started pouring himself a glass of wine.

“So what’s on your mind?” Snake asked.

“I could ask the same for you.”

“Come on. I asked you first.”

“Mine is, uh, kinda embarrassing…”

“I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours. Deal?”

“I guess…”

“Ok.” Snake said as he paused. He really didn’t think this through, huh? Him being open with his feelings was a first. “I was thinking about…erm…Samus…”

“Why? Do you like her or something?”

“Well—“

“Cause everyone knows you like her dude.”

“Wait, what?! It’s that obvious?!”

“No. But now it is.” Mega Man smirked over his little victory as Snake looked at him with a scowl, seemingly angry. In truth, however, he felt like an idiot falling into a trap like that.

“Uh, you know I was joking, right?”

“No, I know. It’s just…she and I were a power couple. But I had to let her go.”

“Why?”

“Back in the Brawl era, Samus and I were first comrades fighting against Tabuu. After the fight, that’s when Master Hand officially made the Smash Mansion a thing. We lived together and got closer as the years of inactivity went by. Eventually, we decided to date and make it official. We loved each other and did basically everything together. It was great.”

“That’s great! ...So, what happened?”

“People got wind of what happened between us. Turns out that since we were from two different franchises, everyone was ecstatic over learning that we were a thing. Paparazzi started to follow us on dates or anything we did separately. They even tried to get into the mansion a lot of times, and we all got tired of fending them off. We never got any privacy and we always had to go out in disguises. Eventually, we got tired of everything and we had a mutual breakup. I did it for the good of us and everyone else. I still feel like Samus has a fear of paparazzi and dating again, because she’s been on the market for a while.”

“Can’t you try to date her again, though? I’m sure Master Hand would take extreme precautions trying to make sure no one does anything.”

“Even if that happens, it all depends on Samus if she wants to or not, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to. But I still love her, and it… kind of hurts. But I love her enough to let her go.”

“Wow, that’s…really deep.”

“Yeah, but I’ll get over it someday.”

Silence filled the room as Mega Man was on his third drink and Snake was on his fourth. Mega Man was desperately trying to think of something to cheer Snake up.

“You know, you could date other women in the mansion to move on from Samus if that’ll help.”

“Nah, nobody would want to date me. Plus, Samus was—no, _is,_ one of a kind. It’d be hard to replace her.” Snake said as he began to take a sip from his glass. “So, what about you?”

“Hm? What about me?”

“What’s on your mind? You agreed to tell me your problems if I told you mine.”

“…Did I agree to do that? I don’t seem recall.”

“…Mega, you’re blushing.”

Mega Man tried to unsuccessfully cover his flushed face. He mentally cursed at himself for never being good at hiding his feelings. “The drinks must be getting to me! I’ve never been a heavy drinker and I must not know how to handle it!”

“You’re a bad liar,” Snake chuckled, “if you were drunk you wouldn’t be speaking in fluent sentences, much less would you admit to not being a heavy drinker if you were actually drunk.”

“How would you know what I would say when I’m drunk?”

“I’ve seen almost everyone in the mansion here drunk at least once, and you’re no exception. There’s even a drunk compilation of us.”

“Oh…”

“So spill. What’s going on?”

“Well, it’s kinda embarrassing…”

“Just say it.”

“Alright! I used to like Samus! Are you happy?!”

Silence filled the room again at Mega Man’s revelation. He finished his drink and poured himself another one.

“In the last tournament, I first thought Samus was a beautiful robot. But when she wasn’t in her suit, she was even more beautiful than I had thought. She’s smart, funny, kind – basically the whole package. I eventually worked up the courage to tell her about how I felt, but she turned me down. I considered asking her a few more times to see if she’d change her mind and give me a chance, but I didn’t want to be a bother.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, man.”

“It’s alright. I just wonder what could have been sometimes.”

“…Hey. At least you’re not like Captain Falcon. He asked her out about a million times. He’s got the bruises and scars to prove it. But at least we both have a great taste in women, right?” Snake asked as he held out his half full glass, to which Mega Man did the same.

“Right.” Mega Man chuckled as they clinked their cups.

Snake laughed on the outside with his comrade, but on the inside he was… jealous? Angry? Happy? He was confused. He still had feelings for Samus, and hearing Mega Man say he has feelings for her, too… it was weird. But he felt like he had to be a supportive friend nonetheless.

 

Meanwhile, Captain Falcon was listening to the conversation outside the wine cellar. He started to run away to his room.

‘So they both like her, huh? That’s _very_ interesting. _Very interesting!_ Also, I haven’t asked Samus out a million times! I’ve asked her out 999,998 times and counting!’ Captain Falcon thought as he ran towards his room at high speed.


	13. The Ethereal Beauty of Dark Samus (Dark Samus, Samus, and Peach)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark Samus does something that shocks everyone in the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by a picture I saw of Dark Zero Suit Samus by Shadman that I like for totally noooooo reason at all.

13\. The Ethereal Beauty of Dark Samus (Dark Samus, Samus, and Peach)

* * *

Samus would constantly threaten Ridley and Dark Samus whenever she saw them. It was mostly in the hallways, though. She still held a grudge against Ridley for killing her parents, and for Dark Samus for constantly trying to fight and kill her.

Although her reason of a grudge against Dark Samus wasn’t as good as Ridley’s, but still.

She would often try to attack them, to which a bunch of the Smashers would constantly defend them both from her wrath.

Ridley didn’t care, however, and would often return the threats and attacks. Dark Samus wouldn’t. She was very confused on why Samus was doing these things. Confused and hurt, and not just by Samus’ blaster and missiles.

 

Dark Samus knew that she had differences in the past with Samus, but she wanted to move beyond that.

Dark Samus would take notes on other people in the mansion and their interactions with one another. She would even try to join in on activities that others would do, like Peach’s tea parties, sitting with the more friendly members of the mansion during lunch, joining the Gun Club, etc.

 

But she mostly took notes and followed Samus the most, as if she were and idol to her.

She would follow her to different places most of the time and she her interact with everyone that she was friends with. Why couldn’t people be like that with her?

Dark Samus was seen as a villain, so naturally not a lot of people hung out with her aside from the villains, to which she also hung around with to take notes on them, as well.

Everything she did was awkward as she tried her hardest to be friendly with the others, only to get weird stares.

 

But everyone liked Samus. What was Dark Samus missing?

… _That suit._

She was missing the suit! Samus was so approachable because of it, right? So if she had a zero suit, people would want to be friends with her, too!

And then maybe Samus would ease up on her. Maybe she would even talk to her!

 

In the morning, everyone got out of their rooms to go downstairs and eat breakfast. That was also the time when everyone got an eyeful of the new Dark Samus.

Dark Samus had gray hair with tints of blue in it, with a black ponytail to hold it up. She had on a black zero suit, but with veins on the lines of the suit. On the back of her suit was a blue symbol. Her nails were pointy and visible even in her suit. Her skin was gray and had veins on the sides of her face. Her eyes were completely blue and she had black lipstick. Her teeth were pointy and sharp as well.

This was evident because she was walking like how different residents in the mansion would. She would switch up her walk about every 5 to 10 steps or so.

She came out of the bathroom to make a grand reveal of her new form.

Everyone stopped and stared at her from their doorways. She was smiling widely as everyone was looking at her with what she thought was awe, but it was actually looks of shock and surprise. She then disappeared as she went downstairs. Samus’ jaw dropped as Peach came over to comfort her friend.

 

“Sammy? Are you ok?” Peach asked.

“…What the fuck?” Samus whispered.

“Sammy?”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Samus yelled as she went into her room and slammed her door. Peach was then heard frantically knocking on her door and begging her to come out.

Various voices were heard saying ‘Poor Peach’, ‘This is awkward’, and ‘Dark Samus looks hot’ as they all went downstairs until Peach was the only one left in the hallway. Peach eventually got tired knocking and she finally spoke.

“Samus? Are you ok? I’m here if you need to talk.”

 

Complete silence filled the hallway. Samus thought about what she said before she unlocked her door and allowed Peach to come in.

Peach sat on a chair as Samus sat on her bed, looking down at the floor.

“What’s wrong?” Peach asked.

“It’s her.” Samus said.

“What’s wrong with _her?_ ”

“She’s trying to take over my life and destroy us. She thinks just because she looks like me she can be cool with everyone now, and I’m not having it.”

“…Samus, just stop it.”

“…Excuse me?” Samus looked up at Peach to see her looking angry at her.

“You keep having these conspiracy theories about Ridley and Dark Samus destroying everything and everyone here, but they haven’t done anything for about half a year now. Give it up.”

“They’re preparing to destroy us with an ultimate plan or something! It’s just something that Ridley would do! And Dark Samus too!”

“If Ridley were to cause trouble, we would put a stop to it. Or better yet, Master Hand would put a stop to it, as well. And Dark Samus if anything just wants to get along with everyone and fit in. You know, have friends. If you just give her a chance, you could see that she’s not that bad.”

“You say that as if you hung around her before.”

“…Ok, I’ll admit, I haven’t hung around her outside of the tea parties, but she doesn’t seem threatening in the slightest. What did she ever do to you?”

“She’s literally my evil clone! She tried to kill me multiple times! I know you don’t experience shit like this in your happy go fucking lucky series, but she’s one of my archenemies! Why are you taking her side?!”

“I have experienced things like this. Mario and Luigi have evil clones and you know that. I had to deal with a _literal shadow demon from ancient times possessing my body_. And I’m taking her side because she hasn’t done anything wrong here or threaten anyone unlike you.”

“Your _paper version_ got possessed by a shadow demon, not you. DARK SAMUS FOLLOWS ME AROUND AND SHE’S TRYING TAKING OVER MY LIFE.”

“Regardless, just give Dark Samus a chance. She could be really nice if you stop threatening her. Spend time with her.”

“Just like how you ‘spend time’ with Bowser and Bowser Jr. during golf and go-karting but then they go and kidnap you every Thursday?”

“Samus stop. I’m tired of defending Dark Samus from you. She is a resident here and you should treat her with respect. She didn’t do anything wrong since we got here. I thought you were better than this, but I was clearly wrong. Stop being immature and grow up.” Peach said as she left.

 

Samus was angry. Her? Immature? Never. Never in a million years. Why was Peach taking Dark Samus’ side? It’s not fair.

Samus didn’t even want to eat breakfast anymore. Instead, she had to focus on not punching a hole in her wall.


	14. A Secretary’s Confession (Isabelle and Villager)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isabelle tries to confess her feelings to Villager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to eventually give the Villagers names, but just for now assume that I’m talking about the main Villager.

14\. A Secretary’s Confession (Isabelle and Villager)

* * *

 

Villager loved to plant flowers and trees. He was a green thumb all around. It was obvious to everyone in the mansion that that was one of his favorite things to do. He would often plant flowers and trees outside the mansion and inside the greenhouse. Every day he would be found planting something.

‘Okay, today’s the day. Today is the day.’ Isabelle thought. She constantly tried to work up her confidence to admit to her mayor that she liked him, only to chicken out last minute. She dropped hints before, but Villager was just so _damn oblivious._

‘Or maybe it’s not meant to be…’ Isabelle thought. Peach’s encouragement was helpful sometimes, but it didn’t make her believe in herself. Maybe Villager didn’t respond to her advances because he didn’t feel the same way?

‘Well, you don’t know unless you try.’ Isabelle thought as she opened the door to the outside of the mansion. She looked around to see a few residents here and there. She eventually looked around to find Villager planting roses on the side of the mansion.

Delighted to see him, Isabelle ran up to him. “Hello, Mayor!” She greeted him, to which he waved in response.

“Are you planting flowers?” Isabelle asked. ‘Of course he is! Why would you ask that question?!’ Isabelle internally screamed at herself. Villager only nodded at her with a smile on his face.

“Can I…plant some with you?” Isabelle asked sort of awkwardly. Villager nodded, wanting the company.

‘So far so good...’ Isabelle thought as she crouched down with the Villager, the latter giving her a shovel and seeds.

“I didn’t know that you love gardening to this extent! You are just full of surprises, Mayor!” Isabelle gushed. ‘Although that’s probably my fault for always being cooped up in the office a lot…’

Villager only nodded his head.

“I appreciate how much you go through trying to make this mansion greener. It may go unnoticed by most, but not me! A lot of people should follow your example!” Isabelle said.

“So, um, on an unrelated note, remember when I was talking about coming to Smash all those months ago? I still can’t really believe I’m here with you. It’s amazing! You’ve introduced me to a lot of great people here! And you have shown me that there’s more to life than staying in and doing paperwork. And for that, I thank you.” Isabelle paused. Her heart was racing. She was really going to do it. No chickening out. No fear or doubts trying to prevent her from saying it. It was going to happen. _It needed to happen._

“So, with all that being said, I have something to tell you. Something important.” Isabelle said almost too seriously, causing the Villager to worry about what Isabelle was going to say next.

“For these past years of you taking care of our town as Mayor, I grew to admire you. You were dedicated to making the residents happy and wanted our town to grow. Before you arrived, the town was a complete mess. Everyone was slowly moving away without someone to properly take care of our town. But then you came along. It was a miracle of sorts. When you left for the previous Smash tournament, it was heartbreaking for me and the others. Everyone missed you dearly. I never had the chance to tell you how I felt. Until now that is.”

A deep breath was followed from Isabelle. At this point, she could feel Villager’s eyes burning into her fur.

“I-I like you, Mayor! N-no, scratch that! I love you! You bring me true happiness! You aren’t afraid of what the world has to offer! You’re generous, kind, caring, and never lose sight of what’s important! You’ve been my main inspiration to keep me going after all these years without you. I can’t imagine how life would be greater without you. So, Mayor…what do you say?” Isabelle asked, expecting acceptance.

Villager just looked nervous. Sure he liked Isabelle, but… this was too much to take in at once.

He did the only thing he knew what to do. He pulled out his phone to communicate with her. A bunch of clicking on it later and he was done. Isabelle checked her phone as soon as it buzzed.

**Villager** : Isabelle, you are a great companion and a great person (or rather dog) in general. I never would do anything to hurt you. But I don’t feel the same way. Can we still be friends at least ????

 

Isabelle didn’t waste any time reading the message. It only took a few seconds to read it over, but it felt like hours to her. She was still hung up on the dreaded word.

‘Friend’. Now she knew that’s all she was to him.

**Villager** : Are you ok?

Isabelle looked at the new message as Villager put his hand on her shoulder in comfort.

“Y-Yeah! I’m fine! Mayor, I’m sorry. Relationships like this should be strictly professional. I’m sorry for overstepping my boundaries.” Isabelle apologized, to which the Villager frantically shook his head no to disagree with her.

“No, Mayor. It’s my mistake. My issue. You shouldn’t try to disagree with me to make me feel better. It’s fine. We can stay friends and all. Just… forget this ever happened.” Isabelle said, almost in a pleading tone. She then quickly went back inside to avoid the Villager trying to reason with her. Everything just hurts too much right now.

She ran as fast as she could to her door, slamming it and flinging herself onto her bed to cry into her pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it might feel rushed, but there will be big plans for these two later along with a few others.


	15. Are You Sure? (Mario, Bowser, and Wolf)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mario starts to question his love for Peach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, this chapter originally had Wario instead of Bowser, but I changed it because Bowser was more fitting.

15. Are You Sure? (Mario, Bowser, and Wolf)

* * *

 

It was currently lunch time at the villains’ table. They were all chatting and laughing at different things, mostly over them terrorizing others.

However, one of the villains wasn’t participating in the group chat, and this person was Bowser. He was so out of it to the point where Wolf asked him about it.

“Hey. Spikey turtle with red hair.” Wolf called out.

“You know my name, Wolf.” Bowser snarled.

“What’s the matter with you? You love yapping your head off and now you’re quieter than Lucas in public.”

“It’s just…my boy keeps bothering me about Peach. I don’t want Junior to grow up without a mom, and I have eyes for Peach and Peach only, but she obviously doesn’t feel the same no matter what I do.”

“Tell the runt to stop talking about it.”

Bowser then slapped Wolf out of anger. “DO NOT call my son a ‘runt’.”

“Ugh, fine.” Wolf stopped to think for a moment. “How about I help ya out, Bowsy?”

“How?”

“How about I mess with Mario’s mind a bit? He’s kinda on the short stick with Peach, too, ya know.”

“Oh really?” Bowser’s sadness soon turned into glee. A villainous glee if you will.

“Yeah. I’ll be right back.”

Wolf got up from the villains’ table and started to walk to Mario’s table. The long table only had Mario and Luigi chatting away. Peach and Daisy went out shopping and Rosalina was cooking. Everything was going well, until Wolf came along.

“Hello Mario.” Wolf said in a sneer.

“Hello Wolf. How are-a you?”

“Great. Where’s everyone else?”

“Everyone else-a?”

“Yeah. You know, Daisy, Yoshi, _Peach_.” Wolf emphasized Peach a little more than the other names he mentioned.

“Yoshi already ate and now he’s-a sleeping. Daisy and Peach are out shopping.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking about you and Peach.”

“Why?” Mario got defensive.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what-a?”

“You save her countless times from Bowser, and for what? A kiss? Does she even bake you cakes anymore?”

“As a hero, I don’t expect anything-a from the Princess. As long as she’s-a safe, it doesn’t matter.”

“Think about the times when she’s safe from Bowser. When you rebuilt her castle, which you did all of the work by _yourself_ , how did she thank you? A kiss. And not even one on the mouth.”

“The-a Toads built the castle too.”

“Yeah, but who got the money to build it with? And who had to save them, as well?”

Mario went silent as Luigi was looking back and forth at the situation unfolding.

“O-ok-a Wolf, that’s-a enough.” Luigi tried to stand up for his brother, but went ignored.

“Peach _does-a_ love me. Just-a like how I love-a her.” Mario said, his anger slightly showing.

“Are you sure? She is a princess and you’re a plumber. The _least_ she can do is let you live in the castle along with your brother. But you still live in a small, run-down house. She rejected you in your last mainline game. Give it up.”

“Why don’t-a you give it up, Wolf? Mario and-a Peach will be together forever!” Luigi defended his brother.

“That’s a right-a! Peach and I-a will always be happy together. And-a nothing you say or do will change-a that!” Mario said.

“I’m just saying. She’s being unfair to you. She should be more grateful but she isn’t. How can she kick Bowser’s ass but she gets hers kidnapped every Thursday? Doesn’t make sense, does it? Stop trying to make it work if you’re only getting hurt in the process. Literally.”

“Shut-a up.”

“Did she at least have sex with you yet? That’s also the least she could—“

“Stop it, Wolf.”

A new voice was heard as the trio looked up to see Rosalina was standing (or rather floating) in front of them. She had a displeased look on her face.

“Mario and Peach’s relationship, intimate or otherwise, shouldn’t be any of your concern. Please leave our table.” Rosalina continued. Wolf only looked at her and scoffed. His was just about done with what he was doing, anyway.

“Fine. I’ll go. But think about it, Mario. If the relationship is one sided, you need to do something before it’s too late.” Wolf said before leaving. Rosalina’s glare only hardened on Wolf as he walked away.

“Are you alright, Mario?” Rosalina asked. Mario stayed silent.

“Big bro?” Luigi started.

“… I’m fine. I’m going to eat in my-a room.” Mario said as he got up and walked away with his food.

 

“And there he goes. I must’ve really got to him, huh?” Wolf smirked triumphantly.

“Huh. You’re not as bad as I thought you were going to be.” Bowser admitted.

“Please. I’m a smooth talker. Practically anyone would believe what I say. Except Star Fox. Now everything’s up to you, Bowsy.”

“Uh, t-thanks Wolf.”

“Don’t mention it.”

‘Now let the pieces fall where they may.’ Wolf thought with a smirk.


	16. My Other Little Buddy (Sonic and Pikachu)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pikachu has recurring nightmares from the World Of Light situation, so he sleep in Sonic’s room for a night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a small chapter, like veryyyy small. And possibly bad. But I’ll leave that for you to decide.

16. My Other Little Buddy (Sonic and Pikachu)

* * *

It was night time once again in the mansion. Everyone had started getting ready for bed as they were saying their ‘good nights’. It was peaceful for everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

Pikachu was in his room, tossing and turning in his bed. He was very disturbed. Beads of sweat started to form on his forehead as he woke up.

It was the third time this week that this happened. Pikachu thought about _him_ again. The one who practically killed all the Smashers except for Kirby.

Galeem.

Galeem and Dharkon have been on everyone’s mind. It’s been that way ever since the incident occurred. Master Hand had gotten everyone a therapist just in case they needed to talk, to which the Smashers used extensively to their advantage. Pikachu was no exception, either. The therapist helped with his fears and encouraged him to be around his friends and let them know how much they mean to him.

Everyone was slowly getting better. Some people have even fully recovered from it. But for the most part, everyone tried to avoid speaking about the situation and act as if nothing happened, and most of them did a damn good job at it. Maybe it’s because they’ve dealt with things like that before. Others still were paranoid and scared.  

Pikachu hid his fear well, but it only showed when he was alone, typically at night. He couldn’t stop thinking about everyone’s look of fear and their attempt of trying to escape the beams of light, including his own and Sonic’s.

 

Sonic would’ve escaped if it weren’t for him. He didn’t need to slow down for him. He didn’t need to die just to save him.

It wasn’t fair.

Pikachu knew that no one would’ve survived except for Kirby (and Bayonetta and Palutena of course), but Sonic should’ve helped himself instead of helping him. Sonic was important to him.

He opened his door and ran down the hallway. He ran up to Sonic’s door and knocked.

Sonic opened his door to see the yellow Pokémon with tears in his eyes.

“Whoa, hey Pikachu—“ Sonic was cut short by Pikachu grabbing his legs and crying.

“Buddy, what’s wrong?” Sonic asked Pikachu. Of course, being a Pokémon, Pikachu couldn’t speak on the matter that was bothering him. Instead, he just cried into Sonic’s chest.

“Hey, it’s alright. Do you wanna… be in here for the night?” Sonic asked a little awkwardly, but was mostly sincere with how he asked. Pikachu looked up to see Sonic’s face and only slowly nodded.

Sonic smiled and took his covers and pillow and put it onto the floor, trying to set up a comfortable little area for Pikachu, while he only looked at the hedgehog confused.

“Don’t worry. I can deal without covers… and a pillow. As long as you’re comfortable, then it’s all good!”

Sonic was strangely being positive. Pikachu only looked at him.

“Hey, I don’t know exactly what happened, but just remember one thing—everything gets better, no matter what you may think.” Sonic said as he got onto his bed.

Pikachu walked up to his makeshift bed and laid down on it. It wasn’t the best in the world, but it wasn’t the worst, either. He didn’t feel like bothering Sonic to do something about it, though. As long as he’s safe and sound, it didn’t matter.

As long as everyone was okay, it didn’t matter.


	17. Keep Good Posture (Fem. WFT and Little Mac ft. Doc Louis)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wii Fit Trainer teaches Little Mac yoga in an attempt to make him relax while Doc is 'busy'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to actually look up some things about yoga for this. You learn something new every day I suppose.

17. Keep Good Posture (Fem. WFT and Little Mac ft. Doc Louis)

* * *

 

“Breathe slowly as you hold this pose.” Jane said to Little Mac as he did as he was told.

It was another typical day in the Smash Mansion. A lot of loud noises and yelling can be heard here and there, but in the yoga studio, it was quiet. Soundproof, to be in fact. It was a place to relax and to not worry about the outside world, all while doing some exercises. After all, yoga was about awareness, self-regulation, and higher consciousness.

That’s what the Wii Fit Trainers’ wanted the Smashers to achieve. They thought that it might help out in battle, but once they saw how the Smashers lived a very unhealthy lifestyle, they decided to take action. Said action being forcing just about everyone to exercise more and eat healthier.

Destressing people was a part of their goal, too. Some of the residents were clearly stressed out from all the chaos that goes on here, and the trainers are more than happy to help their friends.

Today, there were a few yoga lessons from Jane, and afterward she continued her lessons with Little Mac, who seemed to have more stress and anxiety than usual. Was the stress of trying to win fights getting to him, perhaps?

“You’re wobbling! Try to keep your balance!” Jane told him, making sure his pose was perfect, or at the very least, close to it. Little Mac grunted as he tried to balance himself for what felt like an eternity.

“Next pose! Upward Plank for 30 seconds!” Jane said as she demonstrated how to do the pose. Little Mac struggled to do the pose for a little bit.

“Come on, Mac! How does Doc Louis train you? Imagine this is one of your workouts!”

Little Mac could try to imagine that this was another workout, which it was, but this was different. He wasn’t moving aside from breathing. He was just holding a seemingly simple pose. If he was training with Doc, he would be moving and doing exercises.

“Next pose is Downward Dog!” Jane said as she did the aforementioned pose. Little Mac still struggled with the pose. “Here, let me assist you.” Jane said as she helped Little Mac lift up his body.

Suddenly, Doc Louis came in the yoga studio with multiple candy bars. “Hey Mac! Are you ready for—“ Doc paused as he saw Jane and Mac.

“You need to lift your body like this. Hold it for 30 seconds and breathe slowly while doing so.” Jane said, completely focused on Little Mac. Little Mac did as he was told.

As soon as the 30 seconds were up, Jane noticed that Doc Louis was standing in the doorway. “Hello, Doc. Care to join us in a yoga session?”

“Actually, no. Mac and I were just leaving.” Doc said. Little Mac just rubbed the back of his head.

“Are you sure? Everyone needs to stay healthy, Doc.”

“It’s fine. Mac needs to do some training anyway.” Doc said as he tried to get Little Mac to come along with him without making a weird scene.

“Well, alright. Mac, come back whenever you want to relax.” Jane said as the duo left.

 

As Doc closed the door, he only looked at Little Mac. “So this is who you’re seeing behind my back? After all I’ve done for you, son?”

Little Mac simply shrugged. He was actually nervous on the inside.

“Is it me? I can change Mac! The chocolate bars are out. Whatever you heard about me isn’t true.” Doc rambled off. Little Mac shook his head.

“I know! I just gotta train you harder! Better than that there Wii Fit Trainer could do! Follow me, Mac baby!” Doc said as he dragged Little Mac off to the gym.


	18. Lucina’s Birthday (Chrom, Lucina, Palutena and the Robins)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrom, Palutena, and the Robins set up Lucina’s birthday party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretend its April 20th (Lucina’s actual birthday) by the time this is out ok? The concept of Lucina's birthday was sort of interesting to me and I didn't want to wait until the actual day to upload this lol. And the female Robin is Robyn btw.

18. Lucina’s Birthday (Chrom, Lucina, Palutena and the Robins)

* * *

 

Today wasn’t like any other day to Chrom. It was special to not only him, but his daughter, Lucina, as well.

Today was her birthday.

‘I’m a terrible father! I didn’t even set up her birthday party!’ Chrom thought frantically. Being a dad was hard work indeed. It slipped his mind, and he was ashamed. Lucina deserves the world for her birthday.

Instead, she was going to get a snow globe from her father on such late notice.

So here Chrom was, setting up Lucina’s room for what it felt like a last minute party. Peach took Lucina out shopping, so there was no worry about her coming in on him setting up. The Robins came to help set up, as well.

Chrom took out his phone and called Palutena.

_Ring, ring…_

_“Hello?”_

“Palutena! Can you come by Lucina’s room? I need help decorating for her birthday.”

A knock was immediately heard outside the door. Chrom opened the door to see Palutena with a smile on her lips. “Chrom! I’d never thought you would ask me to help decorate Lucina’s room!” She said, almost too gleefully.

“You’re surprisingly very cheerful about this whole thing.” Chrom stated.

“Lucina’s just a _very good_ friend of mine. I want to make sure she has the best birthday _ever_.” Palutena creepily emphasized certain words. Chrom just thought it was just Palutena being Palutena, but something felt off.

“Well, I’m glad you’re helping us.” Robin spoke up. “Robyn and I are going to bake Lucina a cake. We want you to continue decorating for us.”

“Why do you need two people to bake a cake? I can teach you guys to bake one if---“ Palutena started.

“NO!” Chrom and the Robins yelled before clearing their throats. “No. We’re going to bake it because it goes faster with two people, and Chrom can’t decorate by himself. He’s terrible at it.” Robyn said.

“Hey!” Chrom said in defense.

“Anyway, we’re going. Let us know when you guys are done.” Robin said as the duo left. Palutena was now in Lucina’s dorm. It was completely blue, and the color looked beautiful with the light from Lucina’s window shining in. The room was clean, and Lucina’s scent was still in it. It was amazing for Palutena.

“So, as you can see, I tried decorating her room with things I heard were appropriate for a girl’s birthday.” Chrom said, snapping Palutena out of her trance. Palutena then got a better look around her surroundings.

There were pink streamers and party hats. There were yellow paper plates and multicolored balloons, all of this was topped off with a banner saying ‘It’s A Girl!’

Palutena tried to hold back her laughter, but ultimately ended up failing. Chrom just looked at her, now feeling embarrassed on his decorating skills.

“I’m sorry Chrom, it’s just,” Palutena paused before wiping a tear from her eye, “you do realize Lucina isn’t a child, right? Let alone an infant!”

“Yeah, but how else was I supposed to decorate for her?”

“Well, for one, I’d suggest getting the banner out of here. She’s a grown woman. And two, decorate her room with the color blue! That’s her favorite color, isn’t it?”

Chrom then looked around. “Oh yeah. Guess I should’ve done that first, huh?” He asked sheepishly. Palutena only giggled in response then replaced the decorations with blue ones as Chrom took off the banner.

“Did you get a gift for Lucina?” Palutena asked. Chrom froze. He had completely forgotten a gift!

“Oh no! I didn’t get her anything!” Chrom panicked. “What should I get her?!”

“Get her a gift from the heart. Or don’t get her anything. She’s just really happy that you’re finally in Smash, and Lucina doesn’t really care about gifts.” Palutena shrugged at the last part.

“No, I _have_ to get her something. What does she like?”

“Butterflies, you, cute animals—“

“That’s it! I’ll get her a pet!”

“Cute animal _hats._ ”

“Oh. Good enough then! What are you giving her?”

“Something so amazing, so satisfying, and so fantastic that only she will find special.”

Chrom looked at Palutena like she was crazy. “Wh-what do you intend on doing to my daughter?!”

“…What? I’m just going to give her makeup and a framed picture of me and her.” Palutena said as she took out a gift bag revealing said items.

“Oh. Nevermind then.” Chrom said as he left the room awkwardly.

 

Hours later, Chrom was back. He found a bunch of hats consisting of a frog, cat, dog, bunny, and wolf. He even found a Pikachu hat, surprisingly enough. He went to Lucina’s room to meet up with the others.

“Is she on her way?” Chrom asked.

“Yep. Just got off the phone with her. She’ll be here in a few minutes.” Palutena responded as the Robins had the cake on Lucina’s desk.

“Oh good! Then there’s time to greet her at the door!” Chrom said as he ran off, eager to meet his daughter.

“He’s way too excited about this.” Robin smirked.

“Well, Lucina is a daddy’s girl.” Palutena chuckled.

Eventually, Lucina came back from shopping with Peach. “Father!” Lucina cried as she hugged him.

“Lucina!” Chrom hugged back. “Hey Peach.” He greeted.

“Hello Chrom!” Peach greeted as she went upstairs.

“Lucina, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“What is it?”

“If I tell you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

Chrom lead his daughter upstairs to her room. “Close your eyes.” He said loud enough for the trio to hear as they scurried around into their positions. He opened the door and the three jumped out.

“Happy birthday, Lucina!” They yelled. Her eyes lit up with happiness. “Father, you didn’t!”

Chrom just shrugged while smirking. “We did it for you.”

Lucina smiled. “Thank you all.”

“Open my gift!” Palutena said, barely containing her excitement. She handed Lucina her gift bag and waited for her to pull the contents out.

“Makeup! This is great! And a picture of us? How sweet. Thank you, Palutena.” Lucina hugged her friend.

“You are more than welcome.” Palutena said.

“Lucina! We got you this.” Robin said as he pulled out two gift cards.

“Gift cards to Veronica’s Closet and Cosmic Coffee? You guys shouldn’t have!” Lucina hugged the Robins.

“Don’t forget my gift!” Chrom said as he handed Lucina a gift bag as well. She took out the contents of it, only to squeal.

“THESE ARE SO CUTE! THANK YOU FATHER!” Lucina hugged Chrom again as everyone looked on with a smile.

“I knew you would like it.”


	19. A True Captain (Olimar and Captian Falcon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Falcon shows what a true captain should be like to Olimar. Hilarity and crossovers ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes a long chapter that y’all better like lol

19. A True Captain (Olimar and Captian Falcon)

* * *

 

Olimar was currently outside with his Pikmin, enjoying his day. Taking walks with his Pikmin was the highlight of any day for him.

This day started to be like every other day to him…

…until Captain Falcon ran up to him.

“Captain Olimar! What are you doing?!” Captain Falcon said pretty loudly. Luckily, no one cared because Captain Falcon was always loud.

“…Nothing. I’m spending time with the Pikmin. Why?” Olimar asked.

“That’s no fun! Do something interesting! Go racing! Pick up some chicks! Anything!”

“Spending time with my Pikmin is ‘fun’.”

“A true captain doesn’t slow down to ‘spend time’ with anyone! A true captain lives life to the fullest!”

“…Can you show me what a ‘true captain’ does?” Olimar asked.

“Why, I’d be happy too! Follow me!” Captain Falcon said as he ran off to the Blue Falcon.

The Pikmin only looked at Olimar with a hand up to their chins, signaling their confusion. Olimar then soon took out a recorder.

“Today Captain Falcon is showing me what a true captain does. I am curious to see how his mind works.” Olimar recorded his thoughts as he goes to follow Captain Falcon with his three Pikmin following behind.

“Buckle your seatbelts! We’re going on a cruise through the city!” Captain Falcon announced as one of the Pikmin slightly chuckled.

 

As the Blue Falcon was preparing for takeoff, fire was literally coming out of the exhaust vents. The Blue Falcon took off with the speed and swiftness of a cheetah.

‘This man is trying to kill us.’ Olimar thought worriedly. He would often hear of Captain Falcon and his stories of racing at intense high speeds, but with the way he was in general, he thought he was making most of it up.

Boy, was he wrong.

He was now driving way past the speed limit, and making very sharp turns. He almost even ran some people over.

“You almost hit that woman and her child!” Olimar nearly shouted, which was rare because he doesn’t normally raise his voice.

“Relax, Olimar. A true captain doesn’t hurt the innocent. He hurts people that threaten to hurt the innocent!”

“You’re threatening to hurt the innocent with your deadly machine you call a racing vehicle!”

“Look! There’s some chicks!” Captain Falcon said as he pulled over near the mall. “Coconut Mall. Of course!”

“Isn’t this the shopping area Mario and his friends go to a lot?”

“Yes! And it’s loaded with babes! Come with me to pick some up! You could get lucky yourself, ya know!”

“I’m married.”

“Then come with me and act like my kid! Chicks dig guys that look good with kids!”

“How do I even look like a child?”

“Are you serious? You’re small like one and have no manly features!”

Olimar simply sighed. There was no way out of this.

“Now we will have to ditch your little pets. They can be in my jet, right?”

“They are Pikmin, not pets. And it’s hot outside! They won’t survive like that.”

“Fine. Then act like they’re your dolls or something.”

 

Captain Falcon, Olimar, and his Pikmin got out of the Blue Falcon and walked into the entrance of the mall.

“Now since your voice is low, don’t talk. Girls will be freaked out. And play with your ‘dolls’ for a little bit. Chicks will love that!”

“Of course they do.”

“Shh! Here comes some now!”

“This is so degrading….”

Three women were walking by—a redhead with skimpy warrior-like clothing, a skinny blonde with black clothes with gold highlights on them along with a black cat, and a fat blonde looking similar to Princess Peach, except she’s short and has actual guards that are humans with her. About 3 of them to be exact.

‘Jackpot.’ Captain Falcon thought.

The skinny blonde stopped walking with the other girls when she laid her eyes on Olimar. “Aw! How cute! Is he yours?” She asked.

“Why yes, he is!” Captain Falcon answered triumphantly.

“And what are you?” She bent down to Olimar’s level. “Are you an astronaut?”

Olimar simply nodded yes.

“Sorry that he can’t talk. The little scamp is mute.” Captain Falcon said.

“Aw! Well, don’t you worry little guy! I just think it adds on to your cuteness!”

“Kat, what are you doing?” The redhead and the fat blonde came back.

“Ooh! Who’s this hunk of meat?” The fat blonde asked.

“Plump, you’re married.”

“I know! But can’t call out an attractive guy when I see one?”

“Nariko, Plump, I was just talking to this guy and his little one!” The skinny blonde, now known as Kat, was showing off the duo.

“Really? Well, it’s nice to meet you Mr….”

“Douglas. Douglas Jay Falcon. The little one here is Ollie, short for Olimar.”

“Falcon? Olimar? Those names sound familiar…” The redhead said, now in thought.

“Nice to officially meet you, Douglas and Ollie!” Kat said, making Olimar blush a little bit.

“And may I ask who you three lovely ladies are?” Captain Falcon asked.

“I’m Kat!” The skinny blonde introduced.

“I’m Nariko.” The redhead, now known as Nariko, introduced.

“And I’m Princess Plump!” The fat blonde, now known as Princess Plump, introduced.

‘Princess Plump? More like fat princess…’ Falcon thought.

“What is Ollie supposed to be?” Asked Plump.

“An astronaut! But why does he have a whistle in his helmet?” Kat asked.

“He loves whistles a lot! He has a place in his heart for them, the little goofster! So I had his helmet custom made with a whistle in it, and he couldn’t take it off ever since!”

“Aww!” Kat and Plump cooed, but not Nariko. She smirked, but it was almost barely noticeable.

“Are those your toys?” Plump asked, to which Olimar had to nod to.

“They’re adorable! You must be real lucky to have him, huh?” Kat asked.

“Yeah, he’s a blessing. But unfortunately, I have to raise the scamp alone.”

“Oh dear.” Plump said, worriedly.

“Did the missus pass away?” Kat asked.

“Unfortunately. She died in a plane crash a few years ago.”

“That’s unfortunate news. I’m sorry for your loss.” Nariko said.

“I’m sure you’re doing what you can with Ollie!” Kat said to reassure him. Plump, however, fell into Falcon’s trap.

“Here’s my number if you need help babysitting! I’m great with kids!” Plump said as her magician conjured up a piece of paper and a pen to write her number down on.

“Here’s my number as well! Just in case Plump’s not available, because she eats a lot of cake and—“

“Kat!”

“Ok you two, we need to continue shopping for the All Stars.” Nariko said as she literally dragged the girls off. “It was nice meeting you, Douglas. Best of luck to you and your child.”

As the duo waved goodbye, Captain Falcon was looking at Olimar with a smirk. “Ha! It worked! Even though I got 2 out of 3 and one of them was the fat one, I still got digits!”

“What was that about ‘All Stars’?” Olimar asked curiously.

“Who cares? Maybe they work for a basketball team or something. Man, if I ever saw the redhead or the pretty blonde in cheerleader uniforms, I don’t know what to do!”

“They told you their names, and you can’t remember a single one?”

“I do _so_ remember their names! It was Kairi and Aqua.”

Olimar simply shook his head. “What about the… to put it sort of lightly, ‘heavy set’ one?”

“What about her? I don’t want to see her in a cheerleading outfit. Cheerleading isn’t for fat chicks.” Captain Falcon said as he set out to find another girl to hit on. Olimar sighed and simply followed.

 

Later on, Captain Falcon and Olimar were in the Blue Falcon, driving back to the mansion. By now, Captain Falcon had about 6 numbers—from Plump, Kat, Rouge the Bat, Shantae, Lara Croft, and Morrigan Aensland. The only thing Olimar couldn’t complain about was that they got food in the end.

“Did you see that Morrigan chick? Her tits were huge!”

“She’s a succubus.”

“What? That’s ridiculous. She can’t suck busses! Although there is a bus I _do_ want her to suck…”

“She only wants you for your purity.”

“Great minds think alike, Olimar!”

As they were speeding down the street, an old lady walked out onto the street. They stopped as Captain Falcon opened the shuttle of the Blue Falcon.

“Is there a problem, old lady?”

“My pet, Whiskers, won’t get out of that tree. Can you get him down?”

“I sure can. A true captain helps old women get their pussies down!”

“That’s inappropriate.” Olimar said.

However, what he said became ignored as Captain Falcon walked up to the tree and started punching it. A barrage of Falcon Punches were done repetitively as the tree started to slowly lean. Eventually, the tree fell over as the cat fell and landed into the old woman’s arms.

“Thank you, kind sir!” The woman thanked him.

As soon as Captain Falcon was going to say something, the police were on a car chase for criminals, or rather, the complete opposite, as they were the ones being chased.

“Pull over! Oh wait, we’re the ones being chased.” One of the policemen, a _literal rabbit,_ said through a megaphone.

“Sorry ma’am, but I gotta dash!” Captain Falcon said as he ran off, trying to stop the criminals. Olimar ran off with him to witness the scene that was about to unfold for his log.

As Captain Falcon ran toward the criminals at high speed. He eventually jumped on the hood of the car and punched through the windshield, causing the criminals to stop driving and crash. The policemen stopped and got out of their car, revealing a six foot tall dog wearing a suit and a fedora with a gun and a short rabbit with shark-like teeth also wielding a gun. Olimar finally caught up to them.

“That was awesome!” The rabbit said, grinning.

“Check it out, Max. This strangely dressed man stopped the criminals with a punch through the windshield.” The dog said.

“May I confront, subdue, and pummel the perpetrator, Sam?” The rabbit, now known as Max, asked.

“Sic them up, little buddy.” The dog, now known as Sam, said. Max then opened the car door and started to pummel the criminals with Olimar, Sam, and Captain Falcon watching.

“Oh my…” Olimar said in shock. His eyes almost completely opened, but he remembered that he was in public, so he had to contain himself.

“Ha! He would be great in Smash!” Captain Falcon said.

“Wait, Smash?” Sam looked away from the fight and saw the duo. “Captain Falcon and Captain Olimar!” He gasped.

“The one and only.” Captain Falcon said as Olimar simply waved.

Max then came out of the car. “The perps won’t be any trouble anymore, Sam.” Max confirmed.

“Max! These guys are Captain Falcon and Captain Olimar!”

“Those guys from that fighting game where you launch your enemies to their impending doom offscreen? I LOVE that game!”

“Hey, can we get autographs?” Sam asked as Max took out an autograph book and a pen as Sam did the same.

“Where do you keep your belongings?” Olimar asked, surprised that he seemed to pull it out of thin air. Or somewhere else….

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know.” Sam said.

‘Yep, that confirms it.’ Olimar thought with a slight shudder.

Captain Falcon and Olimar signed the books. “It’s not every day you meet a famous video game character.” Sam remarked.

“Especially some that are in a violent game for all ages and can still somehow make it bright and cheery!” Max said with enthusiasm.

“Always a pleasure to meet a fan! Maybe you guys can visit the Smash Mansion sometime! Everyone else is there!” Falcon said. Olimar looked at him and shook his head no.

“Everyone?! Sam, we’ve GOT to go there!” Max said.

“As much as I would love to, Max, the Commissioner said we have other criminals to bust. Some other time. Anyway, see you guys later!” Sam said as he walked off to the DeSoto, only to realize that Max wasn’t following him. “Max?”

Max was clinging onto Captain Falcon’s leg. “NO! HIS LEGS ARE SO BUFF! I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE!” He yelled. Sam came over and pulled him off and got into the car then drove off.

“You can’t just invite people to the mansion like that.” Olimar said.

“Everyone else does it all the time. A true captain offers hospitality.” Falcon said.

“I’m pretty sure they have stable living conditions, considering their jobs.”

 

They got into the Blue Falcon and drove back to the mansion. It was just in time as it was night time.

“Well now Olimar, do you know what it takes to be a true captain?” Falcon asked.

“If you mean lying to women and only caring about their bodies rather than look for love, using vulgar language in front of the elderly, punching the window of a car, and inviting random people to the mansion, then I suppose I do.” Olimar said, sarcasm dripping with each word.

“Exactly! You got it! We need to hang out more often! There’s so much you can learn from me!” Captain Falcon said as he ran off to his room. Olimar went to his room and took out his recorder.

“So today we met two police men known as Sam and Max, a six foot tall dog and a rabbit with sharp teeth respectively. Apparently they’re fans of Smash, and I do have to agree with Falcon--- it’s good to see our fans. But I feel uneasy around them, especially the aforementioned Max. He brutally beat the perpetrators from the car chase that Falcon stopped. Falcon also saved a woman’s cat from a tree, a sort of minor thing today. But the biggest thing that happened today, in my opinion at least, was meeting three girls at the mall. One was a red haired woman named Nariko, a blonde girl named Kat, and a… heavy set woman named Princess Plump. Princess Plump’s resemblance to Princess Peach is uncanny! Maybe they’re related….”

Olimar was suddenly deep in thought as he shook his head.

“Anyway, Falcon chose to embarrass me by acting as if I was his child in order to flirt with women. And he actually succeeded! He got about 6 numbers. But the only number he complained about not getting was Nariko’s. He’s upset over it because, in his words, ‘She was smoking hot’. But the thing that troubles me is what Nariko said before the trio of women left. She said, ‘We need to continue shopping for the All Stars. Who are these All Stars? Falcon says it’s a basketball team, but I know it’s more than that. I want to do more research on these ‘All Stars’. Maybe they’re full of potential candidates for Smash!”

Olimar was about to end his log, but he added one last thing.

“…And one more thing. Being with Captain Falcon was actually… fun? We got to see new people and went out to eat, and helped some people out. Although he did on his part, I just sat with my Pikmin and watched. But it was interesting. I wish to do this again.

….

But Captain Falcon is still an idiot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longest chapter is done! I hope this makes up for some of the previous chapters being short! I think these guys are my favorite duo now.


	20. Unlikely Friends (Waluigi and Ashley)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley and Waluigi become friends after arguing.  
> A.K.A. Two loners become friends with each other to feel less lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to focus on the assist trophies!

20. Unlikely Friends (Waluigi and Ashley)

* * *

Like the Smash Mansion, which is filled with all of the characters for Smash Tournaments and just matches in general, there had to be a place to store the Assist Trophies for Smash, right? That’s why there’s a mansion for them too, albeit it’s smaller in comparison to the Smash Mansion.

 

It wasn’t originally a mansion, though. It was actually a rundown motel for a little bit, due to Master Hand not caring as much for the Assist Trophies like he did for the Smashers. This was back in the Brawl era, and that era was dark for everyone. But as of Wii U/3DS, Master Hand actually gave everyone a mansion to live in, mostly due to the majority of the Smashers calling out Master Hand when they found out about it.

 

Now everything was normal. No cockroaches to be seen, no broken windows, and no homeless men living in beds. Everything was clean and neat.

 

Some of the older Assist Trophies remember how bad everything was, and they occasionally look back at the whole issue. Some laugh at it, some shudder or are angry at it. Some of them haven’t forgiven Master Hand for what he did, and one of the Assist Trophies that didn’t was Waluigi.

 

“…And not only that-a, he gave me the-a worst room possible, wah! My bathroom didn’t even have a shower or a toilet! And it had condom wrappers everywhere, wah!” Waluigi vented out to Shadow, of all people. They were both in the kitchen, chatting away (or at least Waluigi was).

 

“I know, Waluigi. You’ve said all of this multiple times.” Shadow said, looking at his phone.

 

“Yeah,” Phosphora floated in the room along with Ashley, “you talk about it almost every day! Give it a rest already!”

 

“You newbies don’t know waht it was like for us to live like-a that! It wahs for six years!”

 

“Some people have it worse, ever think of that?” Shadow asked.

 

 “Wahs it as bad as having no toilet? I think-a not! Wah!”

 

“Personally, I’d rather not be reminded of that crappy motel. It’s over and done with.”

 

“Those losers at that Smash Mansion are living it up! We should’ve had a mansion too! Wah!”

 

“Just shut up, Waluigi. You’re just salty that you still didn’t make it into Smash!” Phosphora said and laughed, with Shadow chuckling and Ashley smirking.

 

“You’re darn right I’m-a salty! How does Daisy get in and not I?” Waluigi asked.

 

“Because fans demanded her more than they did with you.” Shadow replied.

 

“Wahtever. I’m-a going to my room where no losers hang out there.” Waluigi said as he got up and left.

 

“Finally. Good riddance. He is sooo annoying.” Phosphora said.

 

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Shadow said as they started to talk about how annoying Waluigi was. Meanwhile, Ashley slipped out herself, unnoticed. She was just simply going back to her room. That was, until she bumped into Waluigi.

 

He turned around. “Wah! It’s you. Come to mock me on how I’m-a not playable?”

 

“No. I just want to go to my room.”

 

“You sure? Are you-a lying and waiting for me to go to my room so you can put the word ‘Loser’ on my-a door?”

 

“Yes, I’m sure. Stop being paranoid. I’m not Phosphora.”

 

“Wah ha! You did a spell that made you and Phosphora switch bodies to prank me? Well, it’s-a not gonna work, wah!”

 

“What? No. I just want to go to my room. I was saying I don’t do what Phosphora does, which is prank you a lot. Stop being an idiot.”

 

With that, Ashley walked to her room door, but not before looking back at Waluigi. “I was actually going to say that I’m sorry Phosphora and Shadow were being insensitive towards you. But maybe if you weren’t a jerk, you would probably be in Smash by now instead of complaining about Luigi and Daisy being in it every night.”

 

“Wah! You can hear that?!” Waluigi asked, embarrassed.

 

“Everyone can. The walls are like paper here. You’ve been here as an Assist Trophy for the longest. You should know how it’s like with the living conditions.” Ashley was about to go in her room.

 

“Wait! How much do you know?” Waluigi asked.

 

“…Everything. From what I hear, you’re pretty lonely.”

 

“Wah! No I’m not!”

 

“Yes you are. You’re an outcast. A loner. You play up your ego so no one can see that you’re hurting on the inside.”

 

“Well you basically describe yourself! Wario talks about how you have no friends!”

 

“….Wario is an idiot just like you are.”

 

“He’s your boss!”

 

“That doesn’t make him less of an idiot.”

 

“That’s true. But don’t change the subject! Wah!”

 

“So what if I don’t have friends? What does it matter?”

 

“It just means that you’re no worse than I am! You’re lonely too! But at least I have Wario! You have no one!”

 

Ashley just glared at Waluigi. Her hair turned white as she brought out her staff, planning to turn Waluigi into a spoon. “Say your prayers, eggplant.”

 

“Wah! No! I’m sorry!” Waluigi said as he shook his hands frantically as he was on his knees.

 

“Too late for your sorry excuse of an apology.”

 

“Wah! We can be friends if that will make you feel better!”

 

Ashley then stopped to think. Then, her hair turned back to black. “…Ok.”

 

“It was that simple? Wah?” Waluigi asked in surprise.

 

“Are you trying to say I’m simple?” Ashley asked, her red eyes burning into Waluigi.

 

“Wah! No!”

 

“Good. Maybe you’re not as bad as I thought. Maybe you’re better than the fat, disgusting, greedy slob I call my boss.”

 

“Of course I am! I’m-a way better than him, wah!”

 

“I said maybe. Now you’re just pushing it. At least he has his own games. And at least I’m in them.”

 

“Wah!”

 

“But…you deserve to be in them just as much as I do.”

 

Waluigi looked surprised. She was actually being nice. Man, this girl had weird mood swings.

 

“Don’t forget you’re just as important as an Assist Trophy like everyone else. Stop thinking about what could have been and focus on what it is. You’re technically in Smash, but as a trophy. Considering your luck, you could have not been here at all. A lot of others would kill just to even be an Assist Trophy if they couldn’t be in the actual Smash Mansion themselves. Be grateful.”

 

Waluigi got back up. “T-thanks Ashley.”

 

“Don’t mention it. Ever. If you tell anyone else I’ll turn you into toast.”

 

“…Got it. You know, I feel like this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, wah.”

 

“…Don’t push it.”


	21. We’re Like Grandpas (Mr. Game and Watch and Pac-Man)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more history on Smash and to a lesser extent, Mr. G&W realizes something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and weird story incoming.

21. We’re Like Grandpas (Mr. Game and Watch and Pac-Man)

* * *

All the Smashers had dates of when they came into existence. This was a part of Super Smash Bros. history. The Smasher’s roots were important to everyone else and themselves, of course. Reliving the glory days was amazing to everyone, but there was something a few Smashers realized.

 

A lot of them were old. A lot. They look back on their history and they are proud of how things are now. It could’ve been way worse. The video game crash of 1983 was caused by E.T. for the Atari, and gaming almost was destroyed completely.

 

That was until Mario came in and revived the video game industry.

 

This is one of the main reasons why everyone liked him. He paved the way for everyone else to have a chance.

 

However, there were two others that came before Mario and even Donkey Kong, who had a key part in Mario’s success to an extent.

 

Mr. Game and Watch and Pac-Man had existed since 1980 and Mario and Donkey Kong didn’t come out until a year later. So technically, Mario and Donkey Kong weren’t the oldest ones in the mansion. Mr. Game and Watch and Pac-Man were.

 

This got Mr. Game and Watch thinking. He was old. Very old. No one knew much about him aside from his handheld games. There was very little chance that he would ever get another game again outside of Smash. Ever. He would’ve been forgotten long ago if Smash didn’t continue, much like the Ice Climbers. He would be irrelevant and would have fallen into obscurity. Smash was the only thing going for him right now. It was scary.

 

Some other characters were in his shoes too, but not a lot of them were. They at least had _some_ popularity. He didn’t.

 

Pac-Man will be one of the ones that will always have popularity. He will go across generations with endless fun for others. Mr. Game and Watch was old and so was his handhelds. Pac-Man will never be old on anything.

 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair for Game and Watch and to others that need their chance to shine.

 

Why couldn’t everyone else see that? Why couldn’t they get another game? Why not continue the legacy?

 

Mr. Game and Watch got a text on his phone.

 

**Pac-Man** : Hey you ok???

 

He turned around and saw Pac-Man looking at him, concerned. He texted back.

 

**Mr. G &W**: Yeah, just thinking.

 

**Pac-Man** : What about?

 

**Mr. G &W**: We’re like grandpas.

 

**Pac-Man** : Wym?

 

**Mr. G &W**: We’re the oldest people in the mansion you know and everyone likes being around us

 

**Pac-Man** : Oh yeah

 

**Mr. G &W**: Yeah lol

 

**Pac-Man** : Grandpa Squad forever

 

Mr. Game and Watch looked at Pac-Man and then texted back.

 

**Mr. G &W**: Grandpa Squad forever whoop whoop

 

**Pac-Man** : Did someone teach you that

 

**Mr. G &W**: Yeah the mansion has a lot of slang going around lmao

 

**Pac-Man** : Figures


	22. Still Busy? (Smash Chat)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Smash Chat chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided that every 11 chapters or so there will be a Smash Chat chapter. Last chapter was sort of filler leading up to this point.
> 
> I also updated the chapter name.

22. Still Busy? (Smash Chat)

* * *

 

**Daisy** : Guys we’re all out of ice cream

 

**Wolf:** Go out and get some then

 

**Daisy:** Don’t feel like it

 

**Daisy:** Peach you do it

 

**Peach:** Not right now I’m busy

 

**Daisy:** Doing what

 

**Peach:** Just buys Daisy lmao

 

**Peach** : busy***

 

**Mario:** Peach I need to talk to you

 

**Peach:** But since you noticed it first, shouldn’t you go out and buy more?

 

**Peach:** @Mario not now I’m busy

 

**Daisy:** What are you busy doing Peach

 

**Wolf:** I’m now intrigued

 

**Peach:** None of your business wolf

 

**Peach** : You too daisy

 

**Daisy:** Someone else get the ice cream

 

**Wolf:** No

 

**Pit:** What? We’re out of ice cream?????

 

**Pit:** NOOOOOOOOO

 

**Wolf:** Stfu

 

**Mario:** Peach please it’s important to me

 

**Peach** : Mario can it wait?

 

**Peach:** Or text me in a private convo

 

**Sonic:** Funny how you say you’re busy but you have time to text in the group chat

 

**Sonic:** Just saying

 

**Daisy** : Wow

 

**Daisy:** What the ****

 

**Wolf** : Ooooo drama

 

**Daisy:** ***** stfu mind your own business

 

**Wolf:** Don’t tell me what to do *****

 

**Pit:** Guys can someone please ice cream for me

 

**Pit** : And everyone else

 

**Falco** : No

 

**Wolf** : Lmao

 

**Falco:** Stfu *****

 

**Daisy** : LMAOOOOOOO

 

**Daisy:** Thanks Falco

 

**Falco:** For what

 

**Daisy** : For shutting wolf up

 

**Wolf:** He didn’t shut me up stupid *****

 

**Daisy:** Suck a ****

 

**Daisy** : And leave peach and Mario alone before I kick your ***

 

**Wolf:** Like to see you try

 

**Daisy:** Bet pull up

 

**Wolf:** you pull up

 

**Little Mac:** I can do 100 pull ups

 

**Daisy** : Mac help me beat Wolf’s ***

 

**Daisy** : And then go out and buy ice cream afterwards

 

**Popo** : We need ice cream guys

 

**Peach** : We know look in the chat

 

**Wolf:** Busy huh

 

**Peach:** Stop wolf

 

**Mario** : Wolf stFU

 

**King K. Rool** : ******* Wolf is the best

 

**Robyn:** Omg what are you all talking about

 

**Peach:** Scroll up

 

**Lucas:** We need milk and ice cream

 

**Peach:** Lucas we know sweetheart scroll up

 

**Wolf:** BUSY HUH PEACH

 

**Daisy** : WOLF

 

**Daisy** : SHUT

 

**Daisy** : THE

 

**Daisy:** ****

 

**Daisy** : UP

 

**Wolf:** No.

 

**Piranha Plant** : bddeebifwbifufiejfnjdsnksdkkls lmaoooooooo

 

**Fem. Wii Fit Trainer:** Guys we need orange juice. Can someone please run out and get some

 

**Dark Pit** : Can’t you do it

 

**Robyn** : Why don’t you do it Dark Pit

 

**Dark Pit** : _Why don’t you do it Robyn_

 

**Robyn:** I’m busy practicing spells. Your excuse?

 

**Wolf:** Everyone is so busy today

 

**Wolf:** Well at least Robyn explains what she’s doing to make her so busy in the first place

 

**Wolf** : Unlike someone we all know

 

**Wolf** : @Peach

 

**Samus:** Quit being a dick. If she’s busy she’s busy. What she’s busy doing isn’t your concern Wolf.

 

**Fox:** Wolf stfu

 

**Wario** : No keep going

 

**King K. Rool** : IT WAS GETTING JUICY WHY STOP

 

**Pit:** Dude that’s their bersonal piz

 

**Pit** : Personal biz****

 

**Dark Pit** : Lmaoo idiot

 

**Samus** : Just scrolled up. Sonic stop being a dick too

 

**Sonic** : I said what I said

 

**Samus** : **** you

 

**Daisy** : Yeah **** you Mario and peach are your friends

 

**King K. Rool** : STOP THE TALK ABOUT FRIENDSHIP

 

**Sonic:** I was just saying. Don’t look deep into it

 

**Samus** : You’re being a dick. Like more than usual. In a normal situation you would try to stop Wolf or something. This isn’t like you

 

**Samus** : You know, JUST SAYING

 

**Jigglypuff:** Lol

 

**Captain Falcon** : Samus go out with me

**Samus** : No

 

**Captain Falcon:** ****

 

**Jigglypuff:** Maybe she’ll go out with you if you ask 1,000,000 more times

 

**Mega Man:** HA

 

**Snake** : Lol

 

**Captain Falcon** : **** you

 

**Samus:** @Jigglypuff don’t suggest that he’ll get ideas

 

**Jigglypuff** : Got it

 

**Jigglypuff** : @Captain Falcon PLEASE KEEP ASKING SAMUS OUT YOU’LL WEAR HER DOWN AND MAKE HER SAY YES

 

**Captain Falcon** : Knew I was getting through to her

 

**Samus** : I’ll kick your *** and kick you in the balls if you even dream of me

 

**Bayonetta:** That’s the closest he’ll get to being touched by her

 

**Jigglypuff:** LMAOOOO

 

**Jigglypuff:** DREAM OF HER PLEASE. I WANT TO HEAR YOUR SCREAM OF AGONY WHEN YOUR BALLS GO INSIDE YOUR BODY

 

**Samus** : Whoa

 

**Captain Falcon:** Wtf

 

**Bayonetta** : Same here tbh

 

**Bayonetta** : I’m with Jigglypuff

 

**Pac-Man** : Figures

 

**Sonic** : Tbh Falcon is pretttyyyy annoying

 

**Robyn:** Yes

 

**Robin:** Agreed

 

**Samus:** YES. %100 ANNOYING. FINALLY SOMEONE SEES THIS.

 

**Fox** : Seen it since 1999

 

**Ness** : Been seen it since 64

 

**Captain Falcon** : **** off

 

**Jigglypuff** : I hear you do that every night

 

**Jigglypuff** : It’s disgusting

 

**Koopaling Roy** : LOL

 

**Jigglypuff** : I hear you do it too Roy

 

**Koopaling Roy** : …

 

**Wendy:** Finally! Knew I wasn’t the only one

 

**Koopaling Roy** : **** you both

 

**Wolf** : Still busy Peach

 

**King K. Rool** : YESSSS

 

**Wolf:** You busy jacking it

 

**Daisy** : That’s it

 

 

Daisy was looking for Wolf throughout the mansion, and just as she did, she proceeded to beat him up. Samus soon found them and helped Daisy in the process.

 

Meanwhile, Peach didn’t respond to them. She didn’t care, for she was in her room with Rosalina.

 

“Use that!”

 

“Are you sure? Isn’t this a bit… much?”

 

“Use it!! It’ll feel good once you put it on!”

 

“Erm, ok. Whatever makes you happy.”

 

Rosalina was currently getting her makeup done by Peach. Peach had decided that since Rosalina is just work all day every day, she needs to unwind every once in a while. No one deserved to be over worked, no matter how much Rosalina protested against it.

 

All of a sudden, they heard yelling from Wolf, Daisy, and Samus.

 

“What was that?” Rosalina asked.

 

Peach checked her phone and scrolled up to Wolf talking about her. Then she saw the chat was coming in with new people getting on Wolf (and on Sonic to a lesser extent) about her relationship with Mario.

 

Then she saw that some people mentioned that Samus and Daisy took care of him. She was touched that they would go through so much trouble just to protect her.

 

“That was Wolf getting what he deserves.” Peach said as she smirked triumphantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wolf lives for the drama.


	23. Comfort (Isabelle and Peach feat. Mario)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peach comforts Isabelle after her rejection but shrugs off Mario in the process.

23. Comfort (Isabelle and Peach feat. Mario)

* * *

 

It had been a few weeks after the rejection Isabelle had suffered from Villager, and to her, those weeks felt like hell. Complete and udder hell.

 

To any normal person, they would think that she was overreacting, but to her, she wasn’t. How else would one feel if their heart got crushed to a million pieces by a person they’ve known for the longest?

 

‘I’m an idiot. He’ll never forget this. I shouldn’t have done it.’ Isabelle cruelly thought as she sniffled in her bed. It was currently night time in the mansion, and everyone was seemingly asleep, when in reality what they do is stay in their rooms and do whatever until they decide to sleep. So right now, although it is night time, no one was really sleeping. That was evident from all the noise that was heard in everyone else’s rooms. This happens just about every night.

 

In other words, night time was the perfect time to drown out Isabelle’s crying.

 

She wasn’t seen by almost anyone in the weeks that have passed. She only got out of her room to eat, use the bathroom, or take a shower. Some of the Smashers haven’t noticed that she was like this due to everyone having their own groups or schedules they had to deal with, plus everyone here is crazy. No one here wanted to greet _everyone_ every single day.

 

‘Nothing would be going back to normal. I don’t know why I said that.’ Isabelle thought bitterly. If she could erase one mistake, she’d erase this. She didn’t want to remember this. She didn’t want him to remember this. But it happened. And she made a fool out of herself.

 

She shouldn’t have confessed.

 

A knock was heard at her door.

 

Isabelle didn’t want to get up. She wanted to pretend to be sleeping. But the knocking was getting progressively louder and louder. It was annoying. She then got up and opened the door. Peach was on the outside, looking worried.

 

“Isabelle, what’s wrong? People are getting worried about you.” Peach asked. She looked down on the small shih-tzu. Her eyes were incredibly red and somewhat puffy. She had on a sky blue pyjama shirt and shorts. Her hair was down and was extremely messy. It just looked like she neglected to take care of her physical appearance.

 

Her room was even worse. Tissues were all over her bed, a cup of noodles were on her night stand along with other cups of noodles that have been empty, the covers were almost completely on the floor, her clothes were also on the floor, and a few plastic cups here and there were on the floor. She had neglected to pick them up because she didn’t have it in her. Once she left her room and came back, she would always just lay on her bed as if that were her only best friend. Her pillow was visibly damp, as proof of she had been crying herself to exhaustion nearly every night. A trash bag was in her room, but it was on the edge of her bed.

 

“Oh my god. This looks awful. You look awful. What happened?” She repeated after she didn’t get an answer.

 

“…I know you just want to come in and clean, so just come in.” Isabelle said with her voice being extremely scratchy.

 

Peach walked in and cleaned up, being the neat freak she was. Isabelle watched her as she was now sitting on her bed. It was pretty silent for a little bit.

 

“…The mayor rejected me.” Isabelle finally answered. Peach looked at her with concern.

 

“That’s why you been like this?”

 

“…”

 

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

 

“….”

 

This conversation was going nowhere. Peach didn’t want to say anything to potentially offend Isabelle, but fuck it. That flew right out the window when she said that she looked awful. She needed actual real advice right now.

 

“Isabelle, you can’t live your life like this. So what if Villager rejected you? Rejection happens. What you need to do is get out on the market! Meet someone new!”

 

“….I felt as if he was the one, Peach. We spent so much time together and bonded. We did almost everything together. I felt a connection.”

 

“….” Peach wanted her to spill on what happened, but she didn’t want to push it further.

 

“I really liked him, Peach. I suppose he didn’t feel the same. I told him outside when we were gardening. Then he texted me saying, ‘I don’t like you, but can we still be friends?’ I swear it has been nothing but complete awkwardness. We can never be in the same place alone without it being weird. I hated it. I should’ve never said anything.”

 

“…At least it’s out there and done with, right? Wouldn’t he have caught on sooner or later?”

 

“Probably. But who cares now? It’s a done deal, as one would say.”

 

“Plenty of guys like you, Izzy. You were just so blind with love for Villager that yo haven’t noticed the feelings of others.”

 

“Really? Like who?” Isabelle said this with a hint of sarcasm.

 

“…I can’t really tell you. You have to do some things for yourself.”

 

“You’re the one trying to cheer me up. Why can’t you just tell me?”

 

“It’s not my place to tell, sweetheart.”

 

“Ugh.” Isabelle groaned and laid face down onto her bed.

 

“I do care about you, though. It’s not like you to be like this.”

 

“Not like me to be like this? I’m sick and tired of hearing that! Everyone has their problems and slumps and I’m no exception, princess! I’m just like everyone else!” Isabelle said as she lift her face up to look at the princess angrily.

 

“My point is that you need to find someone else better than Villager, no offense. He’s a nice kid—“

 

“Man. He’s a man.” Isabelle said coldly.

 

“He’s a nice _man_ and all, but don’t you think in order to move on, you need to find someone new?”

 

“….I-“

 

A knock was heard at the door. Peach went up to answer it. Mario was at the door with a bouquet of flowers.

 

“Princessa Peach, I’ve-a come to ask you something important. Do you-a want to go out on a d-“

 

“Sorry Mario, I’m taking care of something important right now. I’ll text you later.”

 

Peach closed the door in his face. Mario couldn’t believe it. Peach was now looking at Isabelle while the latter had a confused look on her face.

 

“Wasn’t that kinda harsh?”

 

“Mario will be fine. This is more important. You’re hurting.”

 

“Don’t you think he’ll be hurting from that?”

 

“I’ll make up with him later. But anyway, I’ll tell you what. I’ll take you shopping with Daisy and Rosalina. You need to meet new cute guys, and I’m not talking about on a dating website! You can meet creeps and rapists there.”

 

“Won’t you meet them if you go out anywhere else?”

 

“Fair point. But a lot of normal cute guys hang out at the mall. I just want them to see how pretty and great you are as a being.”

 

Isabelle felt like there was no other way out of this. Peach was probably going to force her out of bed anyway at some point. “Fine.”

 

Peach squealed. “Yes! Time for you to meet new guys!” Her attitude was contagious as Isabelle slowly smiled. It was a genuine smile too, as she hasn’t smiled (or even faked a smile) in weeks.

 

Meanwhile, Mario slowly walked back to his room, rejected once again. Peach never texts back unless Mario texts first. He was starting to see what Wolf meant.

 

Back in his room, Luigi was waiting for him.

 

“How did-a it go?” He asked.

 

“Not so good.” Mario said as he took off his hat. “She didn’t even let-a me finish my-a sentence.”


	24. Consideration (Master Hand and Crazy Hand)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Master Hand and, to a lesser extent, Crazy Hand, go through the recommendations of different fighters and try to see who has the potential to be in Smash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will possibly be filled with predictions for new DLC characters. And if you’re a serious Smash fan, then you might be triggered.

24. Consideration (Master Hand and Crazy Hand)

* * *

“CRAZY, GO GET ME THE CHARACTER RECOMMENDATIONS AGAIN.”

 

Master Hand was in his…erm, office. Well, actually, it wasn’t an office per se, it was just a random floating place in the depths of space. Master and Crazy Hand were disembodied beings. They don’t need to have living accommodations, or at least Master Hand doesn’t. Crazy Hand was the annoying younger brother who wanted things every now and then, but this was only so he could destroy it. Of course, Master Hand refused to give him anything.

 

Master and Crazy were brothers, with Master Hand being the oldest and Crazy Hand being the youngest, obviously. Master Hand wouldn’t say or admit it, but he loved his brother deep down. With Crazy Hand, it was a lot harder to tell with his feelings.

 

Anyway, the main reason for the room in space is so the Smashers won’t hear the Hands. The rooms in the mansion were very thin and everyone could hear what they were up too. Plus, their voices were loud, so discussing certain matters in the Smash Mansion was an automatic no. They learned their lesson with the previous tournament’s Smash Ballot.

 

The room they were in was completely white. There was a door and a table for Master Hand to put out all of the files of different characters. Although it was mostly Master Hand’s choice of who he wanted to be in, it was ultimately up to Lord Sakurai to decide one who he wanted. And yes, even though Master Hand and, once again, Crazy Hand to a lesser extent, were in charge of the Smash Mansion and practically everything else that they do, they couldn’t decide on who gets into Smash.

 

Crazy Hand came in and passed out the files while laughing maniacally.

 

“WHO ARE YOU GOING TO CHOSE?!” Crazy Hand asked weirdly.

 

“I DON’T KNOW. I NEED TO LOOK OVER THE FILES, CRAZY. WE EACH GET THREE CHOICES, YOU KNOW. AS THE ELDEST, I WILL GO OVER THE FILES FIRST.”

 

“AW, NO FAIR! CAN I JUST CHOOSE MINE ALREADY AND GET IT OVER WITH?”

 

“…FINE. JUST MAKE SURE THAT THESE CHOICES ARE ACTUALLY GOOD ONES. NO WALUIGI, NO CORY, NO SHREK, NO NARUTO, NO SPONGEBOB, NO GOKU, NO FREDDY, NO SHAGGY, AND DEFINITELY NO—“

 

“STEVE FROM MINECRAFT, SPYRO, AND SANS FROM UNDERTALE!”

 

“REALLY? _SANS?_ ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

 

“SANS WOULD BE A GREAT CHARACTER!”

 

“NO, HE WOULDN’T. NEITHER WOULD STEVE. SPYRO IS HONESTLY A GOOD CHOICE.”

 

“WELL, I DON’T CARE! THEY ALL ORIGINATED FROM GAMES! THAT WAS THE RULE. I’M NOT CHANGING MY DECISION.” Crazy Hand said as he casted his votes and sent them into a transporter. The votes were supposed to go to Sakurai through there.

 

Crazy Hand then left as Master Hand sighed. “WAY TO WASTE YOUR CHOICES FOR AN ACTUAL CHARACTER THAT EVERYONE WANTS, CRAZY.”

 

He then looked at the files. Different characters from different series, all wanting to desperately get into Smash. Sora, Shantae, Tracer, Geno, Crash….the list went on. And Crazy wasted two of his choices. Crazy Hand made a lot of choices in life that Master Hand didn’t agree with, and this one was a prime example.

 

“WHY SANS AND STEVE? THOSE ARE ONE OF THE WORST CHOICES I’VE EVER HEARD, AMONG OTHERS OF COURSE. OH WELL.” Master Hand sighed. He couldn’t make Crazy change his mind, not that he ever could, anyway.

 

Master Hand started to go through the files. As he went through the piles of them, it was getting harder and harder to choose just 3 characters. So many fighters he reviewed were extremely amazing and wanted by so many fans. Some fighters have been wanted in Smash since Brawl and even Melee.

 

“GENO HAS BEEN WANTED BY A BUNCH A FANS. HE SHOULD MAKE A COMEBACK. CRASH BANDICOOT MISSED HIS CHANCE ALONG WITH SPYRO IN PLAYSTATION ALL STARS. SORA HAD A NEW GAME COME OUT THIS YEAR, HE NEEDS TO HAVE REPRESENTATION, AND SHANTAE WILL HAVE A NEW GAME SOON, TOO. SKULL KID AND DIXIE KONG WOULD BE OK ADDITIONS. TRACER IS A GREAT CHOICE, BUT…” Master Hand trailed off then sighed.

 

Being in charge of decisions like this wasn’t easy. So much potential of a genuinely good fighter to be added was wasted with Crazy. Master Hand really wanted to beat him. If it was possibly, Master Hand wanted to get all of the people he had in mind in Smash, but that would be highly impossible and extremely unlikely.

 

Everyone deserved a chance to be in Smash. Well, not everyone. Waluigi is living and breathing evidence of that. So was Sans, Steve, and others that didn’t even star in a game.

 

“SOME ASSIST TROPHIES DESERVED TO BE BUMPED UP, LIKE SHADOW, ASHLEY, KRYSTAL, MAYBE EVEN PHOSPHORA. BUT THEY’RE ALREADY IN AS IS.”

 

A long pause. He looked through the files very carefully. This was probably one of the hardest decisions he had to make in his immortal life.

 

“HERE IT GOES. I CHOOSE SORA, GENO, AND CRASH.” Master Hand said as he casted his votes and sent them into the transporter.

 

“LET’S JUST HOPE THAT CRAZY HAND’S OPTIONS DON’T GET PICKED. WELL, EXCEPT FOR SPYRO. LET’S JUST HOPE THAT LORD SAKURAI WILL CHOOSE ONE OF OUR CHOICES.”

 

 

"....OR AT LEAST MINE."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I don't want Steve or Sans to be in Smash. Sans is just too cringe along with Steve, but Steve is slightly, just slightly better than Sans. But Sora, Geno, and Crash deserve spots. So does Shantae and Tracer, but we'll see what Sakurai surprises us with next.
> 
> Also, if you're wondering why I had made them decide on 3 people as opposed to 2 for the remaining DLC characters, well, I simply had 3 characters in mind the most.


	25. Happily Married (The Wii Fit Trainers and Chrom)

25. Happily Married (The Wii Fit Trainers and Chrom)

* * *

 

John was teaching a Yoga class. “Feel the burn! Hold those poses!” John said as he watched the people in the studio copy is poses. He then looked at the clock and saw that he was going overtime.

 

“Ok, everyone! That’s enough for today!” John said as he stopped. The others did the same. “Remember, watch those diets and feel free to try some of these exercises at home! Same time on Friday!”

 

Everyone started to leave the room. Eventually John was the only one left.

 

‘Guess I should go.’ He thought as he got his things and left.

 

It was still light outside, as it was about 3:10. John taught yoga classes from 2:00-3:00. It was fun for him, as he was a yoga enthusiast. But now the day of teaching others was over, and he had to go to the store.

 

He always got the usual—orange juice, milk, eggs, greens, basically healthy stuff. As he was getting his items, he bumped into a woman in the drink section as he was getting the last orange juice carton.

 

“Oh, sorry!” The woman apologized.

 

“No, I’m sorry. I should’ve paid more attention to where I was going.” John said. There was a slight pause. John noticed that the woman was slightly glancing at the orange juice. “Did you want this?”

 

“No, it’s fine.”

 

“It’s ok. I can find more.” John said as he handed the woman the juice.

 

“Oh. Um, thank you.”

 

“No problem, miss.”

 

John said as he went off and paid for his groceries and went to his car. As soon as he started to drive, it started to rain pretty hard. The roads where covered in water and there was lightning and thunder.

 

‘Of all the days to be out on the highway…’

 

Cars were driving either way to fast or tried to slow down, only for other cars to honk at them.

 

‘Jeez, pushy. Though I don’t blame either of them.’

 

Eventually, he got off of the highway. On his way back home, however, he saw a car that was on the side of the road. A person was out of the car, trying to get reception with her phone. He pulled over.

 

“Do you need help?” John asked.

 

“Yes. I need a lift. My car ran out of gas, and there is no gas station within a few miles.” The person said, as it was revealed to be the woman from the grocery store. “Oh, it’s you!”

 

“Yeah, heh, it’s me. Small world, huh?”

 

“Wouldn’t you know it?”

 

A pause.

 

“Um, so you wanted a lift?”

 

“Yes. Thank you very much.”

 

They both went into John’s car. Jane pulled her hair down from her ponytail.

 

“Can you get reception?” Jane asked.

 

“Yes. Do you want me to call the tow company?” John asked.

 

“Yes, please.”

 

As John was calling the tow company, Jane looked at her car and shook her head. ‘Knew I should’ve gotten a new car. The thing’s life was running thin anyway…’

 

“I never caught your name.” John said as he looked over to Jane.

 

“Oh! My name’s Jane. And you?”

 

“John.”

 

“Not to change the subject or anything, but what happened with the tow company?”

 

“On hold.”

 

“Figures. They usually take all the time in the world to pick up.”

 

John chuckled. “Ain’t that the truth?”

 

“Well, since they’re going to tow my car anyway, can you give me a ride home?”   

          

“Sure. Where do you live?”

 

“Here’s my address….”

 

 

Later on, John dropped off Jane at her house.

 

“Thanks for dropping me off, John. Not a lot of guys would have done what you’ve did.” Jane said as she started to get out.

 

“No problem. Just remember to stay safe, Jane.”

 

“Same to you, John. I suppose I’ll see you around.”

 

Jane then left to her house as John drove off.

 

The next few weeks were the same thing. John taught everyone yoga as per usual. He went to the same grocery store, like every week or so. He met Jane again. And again. And again. They eventually became good friends.

 

“So, John, you doing anything tomorrow?” Jane asked.

 

“Yeah, I have work tomorrow.” John answered.

 

“Oh? What do you do?”

 

“I teach yoga to others.”

 

Jane gasped in excitement. “Really? I LOVE yoga!”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah! I actually teach yoga myself! Can I join a class?”

 

“Oh. Sure!” John said.

 

The next few times John was teaching, Jane would be front and center. She copied his movements perfectly, even better than he did at times.

 

“You did great, Jane! Though I expect no less from a yoga enthusiast like yourself.”

 

“Thanks. Erm, can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure. Anything.”

 

“Can we go out? You know, on a date?”

 

John paused. This was sudden. ‘Shit. That was unexpected. I can’t just leave her hanging…’

 

“Sure. Why not?”

 

“Where do you want to go?”

 

“Um, how about Helga’s Kitchen? They got good food there.”

 

“Sounds good. You free Saturday?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Great!”

 

That Saturday came, and they had a blast. Chatting and laughing the night away like it was nothing. It was amazing.

 

More dates were scheduled on the way. Everything was a blur. Jane and John had so much fun together. Then John popped the question.

 

“Jane, will you marry me?” John asked as he pulled out an engagement ring.

 

“Oh, John! Yes!” Jane said excitedly.

 

* * *

 

“…Then we got married. But I was nervous as the dickens that day. I never seen my mom cry so much in my life, ha ha ha. Jane has a better memory of our wedding day than I do.”

 

John was currently talking to Chrom in the wine cellar. Of course, John had orange juice and Chrom just had some water.

 

“How many years have you two been together for again?” Chrom asked.

 

“About 10 years now.”

 

“Wow. Congratulations, John.”

 

“Thanks. I can’t imagine a life without her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some chapters won't have summaries or notes. Summaries can give things away and notes aren't necessary sometimes.


	26. A Song and A Show (Mario and Sonic)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mario and Sonic train for the Olympics, but Sonic has some advice to give to his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for some funny stuff or some cringe. And weirdness. Also Sonic curses. Just like everyone else will at some point or another.

26. A Song and A Show (Mario and Sonic)

* * *

 

On the outside of the Smash Mansion was a pool. Sure, there was a pool inside of the mansion, but some of residents wanted one outside because of how ‘atmospheric’ it felt. This was an excuse because the Smashers wanted to go skinny dipping and not get caught inside. Almost nobody was outside at night. Well, sometimes at least.

 

Anyway, Mario and Sonic were outside in the pool practicing swimming for the upcoming Olympics. Sure, it was going to be awhile before the Tokyo Olympics started up, but it’s never too late to practice, right?

 

“Come on-a, Sonic! Keep it up! You can do it!” Mario encouraged.

 

“I-I’m tr-trying!” Sonic stuttered. He was never good at swimming, as it was one of his fears. He tried to stay away from it as much as he could, but when the Olympics came around, he had to swim. He really had no choice as he had to participate in just about every sport, just like everyone else.

 

Eventually, he made it to the end of the pool.

 

Sonic huffed as he was nearly out of breath from doing his laps. He got out of the pool and sat with Mario. “Heh, how do I do?”

 

“Sonic, you only did-a two laps. If you ask-a me, you’re-a kinda slipping…” Mario teased.

 

“What? _I’m_ slipping? You only did half a lap, buddy.” Sonic chuckled.

 

“Maybe I just need-a to get into shape. It _has_ been a while.” Mario said.

 

“Maybe we should practice something else. How about badminton?” Sonic suggested.

 

“Sure!”

 

On the badminton court (well, the volleyball court that was currently being used for badminton anyway), Sonic and Mario were currently in the middle of a rally. Mario loses the rally, however, as he started to suddenly keep losing. Mario would rarely win in the rallies that they were having.

 

“Mario, what’s going on, dude? You’re normally good at badminton. Well, along with everything else, of course.” Sonic asked.

 

“Maybe I’m-a losing my touch, ha ha.” Mario laughed it off.

 

“Do you want to go for a run instead?”

 

“Sure!”

 

During the Olympics, Sonic couldn’t use his super speed, as it would be considered cheating for using any kind of power you had that wasn’t natural. So now here he was, running with Mario. Mario had a smile plastered on his face, as per usual, but this time it felt...off.

 

“Hey Mario, you doing alright?” Sonic asked his friend.

 

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I-a?”

 

“Tell me what’s wrong, dude.”

 

“Nothing’s wrong, Sonic. Everything is a-ok.”

 

“That’s BS. Mario, I’m your friend. What’s wrong bro?”

 

“…It’s-a me and Peach. She has been avoiding me-a and I-a wanted to spend-a time with-a her to show how much I care about-a our relationship…”

 

“Ugh. Mario, when are you gonna take a hint?” Sonic asked, very annoyed.

 

“E-excuse-a me?”

 

“Peach is giving obvious signals. Not hanging with you at lunch, you try to invite her out on dates and she doesn’t even let you talk, she never texts you.” Sonic then stops running and looks at Mario with his hands on his hips.

 

“She’s out with her friends. It’s-a important for women to have good friends, just-a like every and anyone else.”

 

“You don’t get it. You’re so blinded by love that you don’t see the truth about her. I do like Peach and all, but you’re just as important.”

 

“You like Peach? That’s what you-a call it? Don’t-a think I haven’t forgotten about what you said in the-a group chat.”

 

“I was calling her out! Luigi told me what happened with Wolf the other day. I was just trying to help.”

 

“Well, don’t-a help. I-a love her and she loves me.”

 

Sonic sighed. ‘Nothing is getting through to him. I have to help him before it’s too late.’

 

“♫I know you think you love her, but dude it's such a bummer

How you chase that girl around♫”

Mario looked at Sonic. “Are you-a _singing?!”_

 

Sonic ignored him.

 

“♫You've been fighting all her battles, if she's really worth the hassle

You'd be living in the castle by now

And it makes me sick how you break these bricks

For a girl who barely knows you exist

Now you're tripping on mushrooms just for fun, dude...

I think you've got a problem♫”

 

Mario started to look freaked out. “How many times do I need to tell-a everyone?! Mushrooms aren’t-a drugs! Get away from-a me!” Mario started to run away as Sonic started to follow. ‘This is embarrassing, but no one else is snapping any sense into him!’

 

“♫Mario get your shit together bro

You've got to know this princess isn't worth these extra lives

Just let her go Mario, you're a next level bro

And she's a jump too short when the clock is running low♫”

 

Mario tries to run away from Sonic as fast as he can, but it’s no use as Sonic catches up to him.

 

“♫Hey Mario! Get your shit together

Hey Mario! Or you'll chase this bitch forever♫”

 

“Don’t call her that!” Mario said angrily as he stopped and looked at Sonic. They were now a few feet outside the mansion. Sonic returned the same stern look that Mario was giving him as he continued.

 

“♫Warp zone, friend zone, high score, no more

Stalking this chick in a Koopa-Troopa town

Live life easy like Luigi, ain't never let a hoe get him down! ♫”

 

“He has-a Daisy. And she’s not a ‘hoe’.” Mario used his fingers in quotation marks.

 

“♫Let Koopa keep her bro, grab a flower and go

We'll jump the flag pole and light up the night

Hit rainbow road with Toad, we spinning them tires...

And spitting hot fire♫”

 

“What are-a you talking about?! Stop!” Mario started to run around the mansion.

 

“♫Mario get your shit together bro

You've got to know this princess isn't worth these extra lives

Just let her go Mario, you're a next level bro

But the Peach been cheating and you know I ain't talking code♫”

 

Sonic chased Mario around back to where they were at the beginning—the pool, inches away from it, in fact.

 

“♫You're a plumber, a doctor, a race car driver

An athlete, a spaceman, a "Super Smash" survivor

You've got coins like mad, get a bachelor pad, down in coco beach

Where the hunnies at

Yeah! Get up, get up, get off the floor

She's not the one worth dying for♫”

 

As Sonic was singing this, he got closer to Mario as he backed up and fell in the pool, with him grabbing Sonic and taking him with him into the pool. Mario could survive in water just fine, but had to save Sonic since he always had trouble with swimming, and pulling him into the water was unexpected.

 

“Sonic?! Are you ok?!” Mario asked as soon as they were on land. He shook him as Sonic started coughing.

 

“Thank-a goodness you’re alright---“

 

“♫Mario get your shit together bro

You've got to know this princess isn't worth these extra lives

Just let her go Mario, you're a next level bro

And she's a jump too short when the clock is running low♫”

 

Sonic resumed singing, and Mario decided to stop running. He was tired, and it was clear that Sonic wasn’t going to give up.

 

“♫Mario get your shit together bro

You've got to know this princess isn't worth these extra lives

Just let her go Mario, you're a next level bro

But the Peach been cheating and you know I ain't talking code

 

Hey Mario! Get your shit together

Hey Mario! Or you'll chase this bitch forever♫”

 

Sonic finished his song as Mario looked at him with a mix of confusion, anger, and some sadness on his face.

 

“Are you-a finished?” Mario asked, unimpressed.

 

“Wha-No! Look, I know my song might’ve been pointless to you, but I’ve heard it somewhere and it describes what you are going through perfectly! I care about you! Your other friends care, too, but they don’t care enough to tell you that maybe separating from Peach is the best idea.”

 

“But-but…. I-a love her…” Mario said, his voice cracking now.

 

“I know, but… the best thing to do is break it off with her. If she’s sending you all these signals and clearly not caring, then you should know what to do.”

 

“…”

 

Mario was looking at the ground now, his cap covering his face. He stayed like that for a while. Sonic eventually got concerned.

 

“M-Mario?”

 

Mario looked back up to him with tears in his eyes.

 

“Whoa! Mario! Do you need—“

 

“I’M-A FOOL! I WAS-A STUPID! WHY COULDN’T I HAVE-A SEEN THAT SOONER?!” Mario was now bawling his eyes out. Some of the Smashers (and some of the Assist Trophies) have heard him, but neither Mario nor Sonic cared at the moment.

 

“Mario, I’m sorry. I was trying to make you see what was really going on.”

 

Sonic rarely felt bad for others, but now this was one of those times where he felt this way for a good friend. Mario stayed silent, and Sonic was now nervous that saying something might screw him over.

 

“What… are you going to do now?” Sonic asked.

 

“…Talk to the-a princess. And this time, she will listen to what I-a have to say.” Mario said, somewhat serious.

 

“Mario, don’t do something you might regret!”

 

“I-a won’t. But I’m-a doing something that will be-a better for me and-a Peach.”

 

Mario then went into the mansion, with Sonic following. However, that was short lived as different residents were asking him what happened outside, as they heard some yelling. Mario got stopped, too, but he pushed away from everyone faster than Sonic did.

 

Eventually, Sonic got past the residents and tried to get upstairs. Mario was long gone into Peach’s room. Sonic heard some mumbling here and there outside of the door, but chose not to intervene. Sonic heard footsteps and saw that the whole Mario crew (except Bowser, Junior, the Koopalings, and Wario) were standing by him.

 

“What’s-a going on?” Luigi asked.

 

“Are they ok?” Daisy asked.

 

Sonic couldn’t give a straight answer. Mario came out of Peach’s room as crying could be heard from her.

 

“What happened?” Sonic asked.

 

“We broke-a up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Hey Mario from Patent Pending. After I heard this song, I was like 'Sonic would sing this', so here we are.


	27. Can’t Sleep (Rosalina and Lucas)

27. Can’t Sleep (Rosalina and Lucas)

* * *

 

“Now now, Luma, you already had your desert. It’s bedtime now.”

 

Rosalina was in the kitchen with Luma. By this time now, everyone was already asleep, or mostly everyone was, anyway. It wasn’t unlike Rosalina to be up until very late at night. As a mother, she was usually up early every day and slept late after making sure her Lumas were asleep.

 

Being a goddess, she didn’t really need sleep. But sleeping felt nice to her. She loved tending to her children and all, but sleeping was her only time to really relax.

 

“I promise you can have some star bits tomorrow. If you have one now, you’ll be up all night. Come now.”

 

As Rosalina was about to exit the kitchen, she saw a dark shadow. It was small, and it ran quickly into the darkness.

 

“Who’s there?” Rosalina asked with her Luma close behind looking angry. “Do you need something?”

 

No response.

 

Rosalina then seeks out the shadow, curiosity overtaking her. “Hello?” She called out to the shadow, searching in different areas of the dining room now. “I won’t hurt you. It’s me, Rosalina.”

 

Still nothing. Whoever it was must’ve been shy or something.

 

‘Must’ve been my imagination.’ Rosalina thought as she prepared to leave. However, as soon as she was going to go, she heard footsteps. She quickly turned around and saw the same shadow figure again. She then came up with a plan. “If no one is here, I guess I’ll go to bed now.” Rosalina said out loud as she pretended to go upstairs.

 

The shadow then ran to the kitchen and turned on the lights. Rosalina then floated downstairs to catch the mysterious person. Upon coming closer, she heard water running.

The person must have wanted a drink.

 

“Hello?” She called out. The water stopped running as if the person knew that they were now caught.

 

She walked into the kitchen. She was expecting to see a villain, considering how they were trying to hide from her with so much stealth. Usually everyone else likes to talk to Rosalina or at least say hello if they didn’t want to chat.

 

However, she only saw Lucas, beating her expectations of anyone else out of the water.

 

They both stared at each other for a few seconds with complete silence. Rosalina decided to break the ice.

 

“What are you doing up, Lucas? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

 

“Y-Yeah, I should. But I wanted some water.”

 

“Why were you acting so secretive about it? You know no one is going to judge you for getting water, right?”

 

“I know. It’s just that I wanted to get it out of the way without anyone bothering me, you know?”

 

Okay, it was obvious to Rosalina that Lucas was lying. And the lie didn’t even make any sense! It would’ve been understandable had it been a villain, in which case Lucas would want to steer clear from. But Rosalina mentioned that it was her, so there was no reason to be afraid of her.

 

“Is something bothering you, Lucas?” Rosalina stepped closer to him.

 

“No. Why?” Lucas was getting nervous, but it seemed to be well hidden.

 

“Are you sure? If something is wrong, you can always come talk to me.”

 

Lucas paused in consideration before letting out a small sigh. “I…just couldn’t sleep. I came to get water and that was it.”

 

“Are you having nightmares?”

 

“No.”

 

Lucas was, of course, lying through his teeth. He was trying his hardest to not seem weak, but it was faltering.

 

“Lucas, please tell me what’s wrong. I want to help you.”

 

He stayed silent.

 

“….Claus and Mom.”

 

_Oh._

 

Death certainly wasn’t anything new to Rosalina, and she understood how Lucas was feeling completely.

 

“You really miss the two of them, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah. It’s hard being without them.”

 

“I know how you feel. My mother died when I was very young, too. The thought of never seeing her again was unbearable.”

 

Lucas looked at Rosalina, seeing her face stay at a neutral expression.

 

“But… it also helped me grow stronger as a person. My mother was an amazing person, and I’m sure that yours, along with Claus, was amazing too. There’s never a day that goes by without me thinking about my mother. I’ve dealt with my loss, and moving on from it was rough. But, with the help of the Lumas, I- no, we started a new family. Sometimes starting over can help fill the void in different people. Starting over with others can be well needed.”

 

Lucas looked at Rosalina, taking in her advice as if he were a sponge.

 

“Your mom would’ve wanted to see you become a stronger person from her death, along with Claus, I’m sure. It’s ok to be sad about them and even cry over them. But remember to try to see the bright things in life. They’re in a better place where nothing can ever harm them ever again.”

 

Lucas sniffed as tears welled up in his eyes. He wiped his eyes and drank his water to try to calm himself.

 

“T-thank you.” Lucas went to go hug Rosalina, to which she reciprocated.

 

“You are very welcome, Lucas.”


	28. The Tallest Mountain (Ice Climbers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ice Climbers recall the time they climbed the tallest mountain ever: Mount Never Rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A flashback chapter featuring the Ice Climbers! Also, Belay is the name for their recovery move in Smash, just an fyi.

28. The Tallest Mountain (Ice Climbers)

* * *

“Hey Nana, remember that time we climbed that legendary mountain?”

 

It was another ordinary day in the mansion. Everyone was off doing their own thing, whether it was annoying people, going out shopping, the usual.

 

The Ice Climbers were in their room, enjoying their time together. They were almost never seen without one another, and they often tackled problems that they had together with teamwork.

 

What prompted Popo to ask this was that he had opened his drawer and found an old picture. It was him and Nana on the top of a mountain. They had a lot of gear, and they were wearing masks due to the mountain not having air.

 

It was a simple question that Popo had asked. That one question brought back memories.

 

“Of course, Popo. How could I ever forget?”

 

* * *

 

A long time ago, there was igloo the Ice Climbers lived in. Popo and Nana were running around and trying to get their equipment together.

 

“Did you get the cameras and the socks?”

 

“Yep!”

 

“Great! We got everything now!”

 

The Ice Climbers looked at their mountain climbing equipment. It was a lot, that was for sure. Popo took out his camera.

 

“So, Nana and I are about to climb the legendary Mount. Never Rest! No one has ever climbed it before, so we want to be the first!” Popo said with enthusiasm.

 

Nana came into the camera view. “Legends say that Mount Never Rest is unclimbable. But we’re going to see about that! If it gets insane, we have each other!”

 

They both stopped recording and they set off far from home. They eventually made it, and made another video.

 

“So here we are, in front of Mount Never Rest. It’s supposed to be 40,000 feet tall. To be honest, I’m kinda nervous about it, but mostly excited.” Popo admitted.

 

Nana jumped in. “I’m _very_ excited! It’s the legendary Mount Never Rest! How can you not be thrilled?!” Nana directed her question to Popo.

 

“I’m excited and all, it’s just that Mount Never Rest is unclimbable and I really don’t know about this.”

 

Nana turned off her camera. “Popo, I know we can do it. We’ve climbed other mountains before. We’re practically pros at this.”

 

Popo turned off his camera as well. “Yeah, but this is our first mountain with extreme gear like this. We’ve never tackled on a mountain this tall before. What if we don’t make it?”

 

“We will make it. I promise.”

 

Nana hugged Popo as they started to scale the mountain. Eventually, they were 1,000 feet on the mountain because they were such good climbers.

 

Nana took out her camera. “We should be about 1,000 feet in. This mountain is no joke. There are already high winds here, and if we aren’t careful, we could be blown away.”

 

Popo then took out his camera. “Usually the mountains we climbed were at least 20,000 feet tall. Dealing with a mountain that’s twice its height can be daunting, but seeing as how the first 1,000 feet were easy, I believe we can do the rest with some ease.”

 

“That’s the spirit, Popo! You’re finally getting the hang of things! This will be a piece of cake!”

 

* * *

 

10,000 feet later and the duo were struggling.

 

“10,000 feet. We’re at 10,000 feet now. Still going on strong!” Nana said, even though it was clear that she was tired of climbing nonstop. The bags under her eyes were noticeable and her speech was slightly slurred.

 

“Nana, we should rest. You’re obviously tired. I am, too.” Popo said.

 

“No! I’m cl-clearly fine, Popo! We need to keep going!” Nana stuttered as she felt her temperature slowly dropping. As soon as she asked that, however, she slipped and fell off of an edge. Popo quickly caught her using Belay.

 

“You were saying?” Popo had yelled down to her due to the high winds.

 

Nana looked down from their current height. She saw snow blowing and lots of slopes they had passed. “Ok, we should set up that tent now!”

 

* * *

 

Setting up the tent wasn’t easy. Due to the wind, the tent nearly blew away several times. It was extremely rough and tricky, but they had eventually set it up.

 

Inside the tent was a campfire and a light provided by Popo. He was carrying two cups of hot chocolate to keep their temperature up.

 

“You really scared me, Nana. Don’t deny my suggestions like that in these situations.” Popo said as he gave her a cup.

 

“I know. But climbing this mountain was a dream that is starting to come true! I wanted to go farther than this.”

 

“I know, but in this situation, it’s very important to stay safe. Another incident like that could cost us both of our lives.” Popo said seriously. “Now get a little rest. It’s dark out so we won’t be able to see where we’re going. And we’re sleep deprived, anyway. I can see the bags under your eyes and I can feel mine forming.”

 

Nana nodded as Popo turned off the light.

 

About an hour later, they got up. Their temperatures were decreasing as the tent was struggling to stay together.

 

“W-We should get going, Po-Popo. I’m freezing!” Nana said.

 

“S-So much for seven layers of everyt-thing.” Popo said.

 

They both put on their oxygen masks as continued to climb the mountain as they both took out their cameras.

 

“We’re about 25,000 feet up. I-it’s not getting any better.” Nana said.

 

“Feels like h-hell if it froze over.” Popo remarked.

 

The end was nowhere in sight. The mountain felt endless. Sure, they climbed mountains before, but this was too much! They clearly weren’t ready for this challenge. They could die.

 

“We-we should give up.” Nana finally said.

 

“What?” Popo asked.

 

“It’s colder than Antarctica and the North Pole combined out here! We shouldn’t torture ourselves. Let’s go back down.”

 

“N-No! You wanted this so much, Nana! It was your dream! We need t-to keep going!”

 

“I can’t keep going if my body feels like it’s going to become a frozen carcass!”

 

“You can! Just power through it! We’re halfway there! Don’t stop and keep going!”

 

* * *

 

An hour later, and the Ice Climbers were almost there.

 

“Our tracker says we’re about 35,000 feet high! We’re going to make it!” Popo said excitedly.

 

“I-I can do it…” Nana said wearily.

 

“Nana, what’s wrong? Do you need a drink?”

 

“W-We need to keep climbing! Don’t worry…”

 

“No, we need to stop! And you need a drink!”

 

Popo stopped as he tried to set up a tent, which was now extremely hard since Nana couldn’t help as she grew wearier. He eventually gave up after seeing the state Nana was in.

 

“Here!” Popo said as he gave Nana coffee. “Drink it!”

 

Nana took a few sips. “I…I’m okay.” She spoke.

 

They continued to go farther up.

 

“Popo…if we don’t make it, I want you to know that I love you.”

 

“Don’t say that! We’re going to get there! We’re going to achieve your dream—no, achieve OUR dream! Please, keep it together! We’re almost there! I know it!”

 

“Maybe this is why they call it Mount Never Rest. You can’t rest…until you die from low temperatures and frostbite. Then we can rest all we want by then.”

 

“DON’T SAY THAT!”

 

Popo’s yell echoed throughout the mountains as Nana looked up at him with her eyes half opened.

 

“Please! Keep going! You’re going to be fine! You’re strong like me! Don’t quit! Not now!”

 

“I-I’m sorry….Popo.” Nana said as she was slowly closing her eyes.

 

Popo took her body and shook it until Nana jolted awake.

 

“STOP SAYING THAT! WE WON’T DIE! STOP THINKING THAT WAY!” He stopped shaking her. “Please, finish climbing with me…” Popo trailed off as he started to cry. Suddenly, Nana took a few steps, which caught Popo off guard.

 

“C-Come on, Popo. I…I shouldn’t give up yet…” Nana said, her voice still weary but it sort of had a raspy feel to it now.

 

Popo smiled. “T-Thank god….”

 

Through Nana’s strength (or at least a little bit of it) and Popo’s determination, they finally made it.

 

“We’re…at the top? Already?” Nana questioned.

 

“We made it!” Popo said as he took out his camera as Nana slowly did the same. “We made it! We’re at the top of Mount Never Rest!”

 

“Yeah, everyone! We did it!” Nana said, trying to sound very energetic, to which at some standpoint she achieved.

 

“Let it be known that Nana and Popo, the Ice Climbers, climbed the legendary Mount Never Rest!”

 

* * *

 

“You were amazing.” Nana said as Popo recalled the memory, word for word. As Nana was listening throughout the whole story, she pulled out all the rewards that they have gotten for climbing the mountain. They were famous for such a feat.

 

“Not as amazing as you. You were a trooper. Even when things seemed bleak, you still pulled through. I’m still amazed at your bravery. You achieved your dream.”

 

Nana then hugged Popo. Popo hugged back, tighter than ever.

 

“No. We achieved OUR dream.”


	29. The Episode with the Therapist (The Smash Therapist, obviously)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the Smash Bros. have a therapist. It’s not an OC, ok guys lmao
> 
> It’s a random name I decided on from looking up names on the internet. This chapter will also be in the therapist’s point of view, and probably will be the only chapter to be in someone’s point of view.
> 
> Enjoy a short chapter y'all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Smash Therapist gets introduced!

29. The Episode with the Therapist (The Smash Therapist, obviously)

* * *

 

The Smash Mansion is extraordinary. It’s filled with so many great people and creatures and… not so great ones as well. But it’s my job to not judge them, at least not entirely. It’s my job to help them with their personal lives.

 

Who am I you may ask? Well, I am the therapist hired by Master and Crazy Hand.

 

My name is Heather Price, but I’m professionally known as Dr. Price.

 

At first, I was hired to help with the Galeem and Dharkon incident with the Smashers, but the Hands wanted me to stay longer because the Smashers have… other issues to work out.

 

What issues do they have, you also may be asking? Well, I can’t say. As my job as a therapist, what others tell me is confidential.

 

That is, until now.

 

I’ve decided to keep logs on each of the Smashers. Why? Well, you try to keep up with about 70 plus people and their individual lives and stories!

 

Nah, just kidding. I keep the logs for progress on the Smashers. I try to help them through their problems, whether it be from Galeem, Dharkon, or personal relationships and issues and I keep track using notes and personal files so I know where to start off with and where to end.

 

I have sessions with everyone once a week. They go in order from when they were added on the roster. I enjoy seeing all of the Smashers because they are interesting, having complex feelings and relationships are a part of life, and they are all brimming with it.

 

“… My mother and brother died.”

 

“I have a third eye, and it’s awesome!

 

“I’m the last of my species.”

 

“I can see the future.”

 

“I train to become the best martial artist in the world.”

 

“I come from another timeline!”

 

“I wish to be a great swordsman.”

 

See? Nothing short of fascinating.

 

Of course, some are hard to get through to.

 

“She follows me around and tries to copy my every single move! It’s annoying! I wish she and Ridley didn’t even get added to the roster!” Samus complained.

 

“Samus, have you considered why she follows you around?” I asked her.

 

“No, but I want to kick her and Ridley’s ass!”

 

“You’re getting angry again, Samus.”

 

“Yeah, but Ridley and Dark Samus can go fuck themselves!”

 

And some of them are open books.

 

“Poyo! Poyo, poyo, poyo, poyo! Poyo poyo!”

 

“So that’s how you were born? That’s amazing, Kirby!”

 

“Poyo!”

 

But either way, I’m glad I’m able to help each and every one of them. It’s my goal to make sure they have a healthy lifestyle mentally and emotionally.

 

But some characters….

 

“Wario, are you using the deodorant we discussed?” Dr. Price asked through a gas mask.

 

“Wah? Oh-a yeah.” Wario lied through his yellow teeth as he farted.

 

…. I honestly need to get paid more to even have a session with them.


	30. The Annual Meeting (The Original 12)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Original 12 have a meeting every month to tell Master Hand about anything going on in the mansion.

30. The Annual Meeting (The Original 12)

* * *

“Come on-a, bro! We’re-a gonna be late!” Luigi called out to Mario as they ran down one of the long hallways of the mansion. At the end of this hallway was a single door with a sign saying ‘Meeting In Progress’.

 

“Bro, we _are-a_ late! 20 minutes late to be exact-a!” Mario said as he started to run as fast as he could to the room.

 

They both made it, with the rest of the original cast looking at them.

 

“Well, look who finally decided to join us.” Fox sneered.

 

“You guys took even longer than me! And I’m always fashionably late!” Captain Falcon said.

 

“We get it, Falcon.” Samus said as she was cleaning off her armor.

 

“Yosh, yoshi.” Yoshi said as Pikachu looked shocked at what he said and Jigglypuff laughed.

 

“Well, anyway, since everyone is here, we can---“ Samus got cut off by Captain Falcon.

 

“EVERYONE. IS. HERE?!” Crazy Hand said as he suddenly appeared. “WHAT A SHOCK! WE TOTALLY DIDN’T KNOW THAT!” It was obvious that his tone was sarcastic.

 

“WE GET IT, CRAZY.” Master Hand said as he suddenly appeared. “ALRIGHT, EVERYONE. YOU KNOW THE DRILL.  LET’S DISCUSS THE MANSION AND THE DAMAGES THAT HAVE HAPPENED.”

 

“Wow. ‘You know the drill’? Can’t you open the meeting up with an actual greeting?” Samus asked.

 

“I COULD. BUT I WON’T.”

 

“Figures.” Fox replied.

 

“Well, Wario farted and blasted a hole in the wall of the living room-a.” Mario said.

 

“WELL, WE HAVE TO PUNISH HIM ACCORDINGLY.” Master Hand said.

 

“Puff, puff puff puff puff.” Jigglypuff said with a smirk.

 

“WHAT?! THAT’S BEEN THREE TIMES IN THE PAST THREE MONTHS!” Master Hand said.

 

“What did she say?” Fox asked.

 

“JIGGLYPUFF TELLS ME THAT CAPTAIN FALCON CRASHED HIS JET IN THE GARAGE. FALCON, PLEASE BE A MORE RESPONSIBLE DRIVER. CONSIDER THIS TO BE YOUR FINAL WARNING.”

 

“Jigglypuff! You bitch!” Captain Falcon said.

 

“Serves you right. You’re uncontrollable in the damn thing.” Samus said.

 

“ _I’m_ uncontrollable?! How about you when you drive your spaceship that one time from the car wash?!”

 

“You just had to bring that up, didn’t you?!” Samus was now snarling at Falcon with the latter now smirking.

 

“What? You hate it when I bring up car washes?”

 

“FOCUS, YOU TWO. WE DO NOT NEED A REPEAT OF THE PREVIOUS MEETINGS. ANYTHING ELSE YOU ALL HAVE TO BRING UP?”

 

“Mewtwo and Lucario had a fight outside to see who had better powers or whatever. They destroyed the chimney and pool by accident.” Fox said.

 

“I SHALL ALSO PUNISH THEM ACCORDINGLY. IS THAT ALL?” Master Hand asked, hoping that would be it.

 

No one else spoke up. So he assumed that had to be all from the 12.

 

“GOOD. NOW, I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. AFTER ALL THE CHARACTERS FOR THE DLC PASS ARE REVEALED, WE WILL HAVE A FORMAL PARTY.” Master Hand started as Captain Falcon, Samus, and Fox raised their hands. “YES, IT WILL BE STRICTLY FORMAL, AND IT IS MANDATORY FOR EVERYONE TO GO. AND IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT EVERYONE SHOULD BE ON THEIR ABSOLUTE BEST BEHAVIOR. I HOPE YOU ALL CAN MONITOR EVERYONE AND MAKE SURE THEY’RE ALL AT THEIR BEST.”

 

Everyone stays silent. That was, until Mario spoke up. “You can count-a on us!” Mario said, giving a thumbs up. Kirby soon follows with an energetic ‘poyo’ himself.

 

“GOOD. AT LEAST ONE OF YOU ARE UP TO IT. EVERYONE SHOULD FOLLOW AFTER MARIO AND KIRBY’S EXAMPLE.”

 

“Uh, with all due respect Master Hand-a, everyone doesn’t _have_ to respond. They clearly understand.” Mario tried to defend his comrades.

 

“NO, I NEED OFFICAL CONFIRMATION FROM EVERYONE.”

 

Then, everyone responded with no energy or complete spite (the spite came from Captain Falcon).

 

“GOOD. THOUGH YOU COULD’VE SOUNDED A LITTLE BETTER WITH GIVING A RESPONSE.”

 

“Like how you could’ve sounded better with the greeting?” Samus retorted.

 

“THAT’S DIFFERENT. ANYWAY, IF THAT’S ALL, CRAZY AND I WILL NOW BE LEAVING. SEE YOU ALL SOON.” Master Hand said as he and Crazy Hand left. It was clear that Master Hand didn’t want to hear what Samus had to say against him, causing her to have a pissed off look on her face.

 

“Well… I suppose-a the meeting is adjourned, ha ha.” Mario said, trying to make everything light hearted.

 

As everyone started to leave, Fox decided to wait behind with Samus.

 

“Hey Sam, you alright?”

 

“No. Fucking Master Hand thinks that just because Mario and Kirby are the greatest, he can overlook everyone.”

 

“Oh. Well, can you talk to Mario or Kirby about it?”

 

“I could, but Master Hand won’t really do anything.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“He ignores me and everyone else. Why bother?”

 

“You don’t know until you try.” Fox said before walking out of the room.

 

“I’m not going to try shit. There’s no point.” Samus muttered before getting up out of her chair.

 

Suddenly, Captain Falcon popped up, seemingly out of nowhere. “Samus! Go out with me! I’ll even pay for dinner!”

 

Samus responded to his offer by kicking him in his dick. Hard. Captain Falcon yelled and promptly fell to the ground.

 

“Ow…. Falcon Chode….”

 

“That doesn’t even make any sense.” Samus said as she left. Jigglypuff came in with her phone and took a selfie with Falcon on the floor in pain.


	31. Begone, Tho—I mean, Seductress! (Shovel Knight and Phosphora)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shovel Knight slips up with his words.

31. Begone, Tho—I mean, Seductress! (Shovel Knight and Phosphora)

* * *

 

It was in the middle of an 8 player battle. Assist Trophies were being used like crazy in a desperate match to win against the other competitors.

 

As such, the Assist Trophies would be randomly selected to help. Whenever a fight happened and the Assist Trophies had the possibility of showing up, they all had to be ready. Everyone had to be in the foyer of the Assist Trophy Mansion, prepared and raring to go.

 

Of course, so many Assist Trophies were called in. From the foyer, all the Assist Trophies were being teleported back and forth from the battlefield. Some came back with bruises and marks and others came back uninjured. It was very chaotic, but this is what they all had to deal with.

 

Eventually, the match ended, and all of the Assist Trophies went to go relax or get healed by Ashley if they were injured.

 

Shovel Knight walked up to Krystal and Shadow in the kitchen. He found his two comrades to be rather interesting, with Krystal having telepathy and Shadow being able to warp time with Chaos Control. To him, the people here continued to amaze him.

 

“Good evening, Lady Krystal and Sir Shadow. How are you both fairing after the recent match?” Shovel Knight asked.

 

“I could be better. I wish Sonic and Ganondorf didn’t keep attacking me all the damn time.” Shadow cursed.

 

“I’m doing well, thanks for asking Shovel Knight. I hope you’re doing well after the match, as well.” Krystal responded.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that, Sir Shadow. I hope things get better for you. And I’m doing just well, Lady Krystal.”

 

Suddenly, a loud voice was heard.

 

“HEY SHADOW! Did ya miss talking to me?!” Phosphora had yelled.

 

“Ugh. Why are you shouting?” Shadow asked, holding a hand up to his face.

 

“I can’t help it! I feel so energetic!” Phosphora said as she floated near him.

 

“Can’t you go annoy someone else? Like Waluigi or Goroh or play with the Nintendog?”

 

“The Nintendog is sleeping, Goroh is having an arm-wrestling match with Guile and Akira, and Waluigi is with Ashley. The last one surprised me the most. Ashley is like, wayyyyyy better than that loser.”

 

“Now now, Waluigi isn’t a loser. He’s just… misunderstood.” Krystal stood up for Waluigi.

 

“Oh, come on, Kristie! Doesn’t Waluigi push your buttons? Or at least make you wanna wear ear plugs when he rants to Wario about how unfair everyone is to him at night?”

 

“Waluigi goes through a lot, just like all of us, Phosphora.”

 

“Hmph. I can’t even stand to be in the same room as the guy.” Shadow said.

 

“I concur with Lady Krystal. Waluigi should be treated fairly and no one should have to suffer what he goes through.” Shovel Knight finally spoke up.

 

“Ooooh, standing up for the long legged loser, are we? How noble!” Phosphora teased.

 

“Lady Phosphora and Sir Shadow, why do you tease Sir Waluigi? What has he done to deserve such… treatment, anyway?”

 

“Be a bitch.” Shadow answered.

 

“What he said.” Phosphora answered.

 

“Come on, guys, have a heart.” Krystal said.

 

“Lady Phosphora and Sir Shadow, Waluigi is no fiend. He is actually a nice person at times.” Shovel Knight said.

 

“What’s up with you and this ‘Sir’ and ‘Lady’ junk? Trying to sound all proper?” Phosphora asked.

 

“This is just how I speak, Lady Phosphora. Is it bothering you? I could—“

 

“I know it’s how you speak. I was just messing with ya. Though I’m not complaining. Calling me ‘Lady’ makes me feel fancy.”

 

“Oh god…” Shadow muttered with Krystal looking a little confused.

 

“Well then, Lady Phosphora, I’m relieved to know that it doesn’t—“

 

“It’s very admirable how you tried to stand up for Waluigi. Not that I account for you and Krystal’s tastes. Good thing you’re very cute.”

 

“La-Lady Phosphora!”  


“What? I’m just being honest. And being short only makes you even cuter!”

 

“La-Lady—“

 

“Too bad you never take your helmet off, you know. I bet you look really great under all that armor. Why don’t you take it off? Just for me?”

 

Phosphora started to reach towards Shovel Knight’s helmet, with her lips slightly puckered. Shovel Knight started to get nervous until he finally slapped Phosphora’s hand out of his face and jumped away from the three of them.

 

“Begone, thot!” Shovel Knight said as he gasped. He didn’t mean to say that! “Er, I meant seductress!”

 

Too late. Krystal looked at him with her mouth agape, Shadow looked shocked and so did Phosphora. Shadow’s lips slowly turned into a smile at Phosphora, as if he wanted to laugh at her for what Shovel Knight said, but was incapable to do so. He only slightly chuckled.

 

“You thought that was funny?!” Phosphora angrily asked Shadow.

 

“Yes. It was too damn funny.” Shadow said this with his smile present.

 

“Ugh! Unbelievable!”

 

“That was rather… shocking.” Krystal said as she muttered the last part.

 

“I apologize, Lady Phosphora! I think been hanging around the lewd residents of the Mansion again. I humbly ask for your forgiveness.” Shovel Knight begged.

 

“…Ugh. I’m only going to forgive you just this once because you’re cute, you know.” Phosphora said as she left the kitchen.

 

Awkward silence befell the kitchen between the three. Shadow and Krystal prepared to leave.

 

“Don’t let her moods get to you. She probably liked being called a thot.” Shadow said, trying to reassure Shovel Knight, but of course, it didn’t.

 


	32. Only The Beginning (Many)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Smashers hear of the new things that will change up the way everything is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of the Nintendo Direct! It was amazing!

32. Only The Beginning (Many)

* * *

 

Banjo and Kazooie were excited. Their move-in day had finally arrived! It was too exciting.

 

“I can’t believe it, Kazooie. We’re finally moving into the legendary mansion itself.” Banjo said, packing the last of his bags.

 

“Heh, dreams do come true, I suppose.” Kazooie said, her voice cracking slightly. Banjo looked at her.

 

“Kazooie, are you crying?”

 

“I’m not crying! _You’re_ crying!” Kazooie said, tears in her eyes now. Banjo touched his fur underneath his eyes as he could feel something damp. He was indeed crying, as well.

 

“You’re right. I am crying!” Banjo said as he and Kazooie then wailed together. Tooty came in Banjo’s house and started crying, as well.

 

“I-I’m going to miss you, Banjo. P-Please remember to visit.” Tooty said as she hugged him and Kazooie. Meanwhile, Conker was in the room on Banjo’s couch, not really caring for the whole crying game going on.

 

“Jeez, rub it in why don’cha?” Conker said as he took a sip of his beer.

 

“Come on, Conker! Can’t you say something positive about your friends for once?” Tooty irritably asked.

 

“Congrats on making it into the fight or whatever. Happy now?”

 

“Say something positive _and mean it_.” Tooty emphasized.

 

“Come on, Banjo! I don’t want to be late!” Kazooie said, not really caring if Conker wasn’t congratulating them.

 

“You just want to see the ‘hot bird dude’ again.” Banjo said as Kazooie looked at him in shock.

 

“Oooh! Kazooie’s got a cru-ush!” Tooty teased.

 

“Shut up!” Kazooie said.

 

Banjo and Kazooie got their bags and prepared to leave. Banjo turned to Tooty.

 

“Now, I want you and Conker to look after the place while we’re gone. You can do that, right?” Banjo asked.

 

“Of course, Banjo!” Tooty said as she smiled.

 

“You can help Tooty take care of this place, right Conker?” Banjo called out to Conker.

 

“Yeah. Sure.” Conker said, clearly not really caring.

 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he helps.” Tooty whispered to Banjo.

 

Suddenly, a limo appeared outside of Banjo’s house. Master Hand was known for having the newcomers to Smash just travel to the mansion, but due to past incidents, he started to get limos to pick them up, simply because most of the time he was busy and Crazy Hand isn’t exactly trustworthy.

 

“Well, we’re off! See you both soon!” Banjo said.

 

“Bye, Banjo!” Tooty said.

 

“Goodbye or some shit.” Conker said.

 

 

Meanwhile, the Smashers were watching an important announcement video being made by Sakurai himself about the Smash Mansion. They were all in the home movie theatre since that room was the only room in the whole mansion with a huge screen.

 

“I hope this direct has something good!” Zelda said excitedly as Link nodded.

 

“I wonder who this next fighter will be. There have been rumors about where they come from, but I want to see it for myself.” Palutena said, eating some popcorn as a snack.

 

“Who do you think the new fighter will be, Lady Palutena?” Pit asked.

 

“I don’t know. I heard it would be someone from SNK.” She responded.

 

“I hope it’s a chick! We’re starting to get overcrowded with dudes here! It’s like a sausage fest!” Captain Falcon said.

 

“What about the women that are here and the women you meet when you go out? Don’t they matter in some way to you?” Olimar asked.

 

“Yeah, but it’s much better to have a lot of side babes! Why have one chick when you can catch them all?!” Captain Falcon said as Olimar shook his head. Jigglypuff glared at him for using her series’ catchphrase.

 

Samus leaned towards Olimar. “You see why don’t like him?” She said, albeit not discreetly. She made sure Captain Falcon heard her. Olimar smirked and nodded his head.

 

“Everyone! The announcement is starting!” Ritcher said as the movie screen lit up.

 

The screen showed off all the past consoles that were a part of everyone’s history. As it went to the very first home console as a part of Nintendo’s history, it went up to the Super Nintendo. Then the screen slid over to the Neo Geo as a 16 bit animation was played. A letter with the stamp for Smash was shown as multiple characters were trying to get it, but it landed on the floor as someone picked it up.

 

He had blonde hair in a long ponytail, a red vest, a white top, blue jeans, and a cap that said ‘Fatal Fury’. He turned around and taunted sort of similar to how Ken taunts.

 

“Hey come on!”

 

**Terry Faces the Fury!**

 

Palutena looked surprised. “I never thought I’d see Terry join us.”

 

“At this point, the door is opened for anyone to join us.” Dark pit scoffed.

 

After the reveal was over, everyone cheered as Sakurai appeared on the screen. He started explaining everything that would be new to Smash. A lot of people were excited for homerun contest returning and the Miis were excited for the new costumes.

 

But then something unexpected appeared on the screen.

 

Weird 16 bit music started playing.

 

A skeleton that wore slippers, a blue jacket, and black shorts was on the screen as everyone gasped and had mixed reactions.

 

“By the gods…” Palutena whispered.  


Ganondorf groaned. “Why him? WHO WANTED HIM?!”

 

“Apparently a lot of people. Sakurai just said that Sans was popular.” Snake said.

 

 

Meanwhile in space…

 

Crazy and Master Hand were watching the announcement video.

 

“HA! SANS GOT IN! IN YOUR FACE, LOSER!” Crazy Hand said with glee as Master Hand only tapped his fingers in annoyance.

 

 

“Dear gods, please don’t let this start a bunch of memes.” Pit prayed.

 

“Too late.” Lucas said as he was already on his phone, seeing all the memes being made.

 

Lastly, Sakurai wrapped up the video mentioning that more fighters were coming other than the two that everyone had been expecting.

 

“Great. More people.” Wolf sneered.

 

“I think it’s great having more people added to the mansion. It gives us a chance to get acquainted with different people.” Lucina said.

 

“Wait ‘til you see who has the possibility of showing up, Lucina. It will make ya rethink the whole thing.” Daisy said, not wanting to have Waluigi in Smash.

 

The presentation ended, and everyone left with their minds reeling with what was shown. It was exciting, sure, but it was also overwhelming.

 

Master and Crazy Hand appeared in the foyer.

 

“SO, ASSUMING THAT YOU’VE ALL SEEN THE ANNOUNCEMENT, BANJO AND KAZOOIE SHOULD BE ARRIVING SHORTLY. MORE CHARACTERS WILL BE APPEARING AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT WON’T BE ENDING ANY TIME SOON, SO BRACE YOURSELVES FOR NEW MEMBERS.” Master Hand said as he then paused for a slight moment. “NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, I SHOULD BRACE MYSELF AS WELL.” Master Hand said as Banjo and Kazooie suddenly opened the doors.

 

“What up, losers? We’re here!” Kazooie said as the animal duo was soon greeted by both of the Hands.

 

“There’s two of them now?” Banjo questioned.

 

“Can’t get any weirder than this.” Kazooie said.

 

“EVERYONE, BANJO AND KAZOOIE ARE HERE!” Master Hand announced as everyone gathered around them, wanting to greet the recent newcomers. Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, and K. Rool were elated to see their old friends, and the other DLC characters were glad to meet them in person.

 

Then, another person came into the mansion. Everyone turned their attention towards them one by one.

 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MEET SANS!” Crazy hand said. Everyone looked at the Mii version of Sans, all with nearly unreadable faces.

 

“*sup, guys?” The Sans Mii asked.

 

“Are we gonna have a bad time?” Ness asked.


	33. Memes (Smash Chat)

33\. Memes (Smash Chat)

* * *

**Daisy:** Fingers in his ass

 

**Daisy:** Fingers in his ass

 

**Daisy:** Kanye West he likes

 

**Daisy:** Fingers in his ass

 

**Ridley:** Why

 

**Daisy:** Because

 

**Daisy:** Kanye West likes fingers in his fat ass

 

**Fox:** She's referencing that meme again

 

**Mega Man** : You have issues

 

**Daisy:** No Kanye West does

 

**Lucas:** You’re not wrong

 

**Kazooie:** The ****

 

**Kazooie:** Of course I can’t swear

 

**Dark Pit:** You get used to it

 

**Dark Pit:** Eventually

 

**King DeDeDe:** When is eventually for you DP???

 

**Dark Pit:** Whenever I ****ing feel like it DDD

 

**Palutena:** It’s not a smash chat without someone trying to swear

 

**Banjo:** Thank god. Kazooie curses too much anyway

 

**Kazooie:** No I don’t

 

**Banjo:** 98 times a day. You say each word about 98 times a day individually.

 

**Palutena:** Wow, seems like Kazooie is on par with Dark Pit

 

**Palutena:** And Falcon

 

**Palutena:** And Samus

 

**Palutena:** And Daisy

 

**Palutena:** And _Bayonetta_

**Dark Pit:** We get it shut up

 

**Dark Pit:** and why is Bayo’s name in italics

 

**Palutena:** What are you talking about? _Bayonetta’s_ name is normal

 

**Kazooie:** I don’t know if she’s weird or joking

 

**Dark Pit:** She’s both. Especially the weird part

 

**Bayonetta:** The goddess is just mad that I beat her in a one on one match

 

**Samus:** Wow

 

**Samus:** Not surprised tbh

 

**Rosalina:** It’s ok, Palutena. We all have our wins and losses.

 

**Wario:** Some more than others @Pit

 

**Pit:** Oh come on!!! The score doesn’t even matter!

 

**Wario:** It does to me

 

**Wario:** 51-19

 

**Daisy:** OH ****

 

**Daisy:** THE AREA 51 RAID IS COMING UP SOON

 

**Ridley:** What the ****

 

**Zelda:** You better not be taking part of the raid. That’s too dangerous

 

**Daisy:** Yes I’m taking part

 

**Daisy:** Let’s see them aliens

 

**Ness:** Already did. They’re called Starmen

 

**Meta Knight:** If you do this Princess Daisy, there’s a high chance you won’t make it out alive.

 

**Daisy: _It’s a chance I’m willing to take_**

****

**Ike:** Shouldn’t you be telling her the dangers of doing this raid??? @Meta Knight

 

**Meta Knight** : I know better than to try to stop Princess Daisy. She won’t listen anyways.

 

**Diddy Kong:** I’m doing the raid too guys

 

**Dark Pit:** We don’t care

 

**Kazooie:** Don’t dismiss Diddy you *****

 

**Ridley:** DoN’t DiSmIsS dIdDy

 

**Diddy Kong:** Don’t mock Kazooie!

 

**Ridley:** dOn’T mOcK kAzOoIe

 

**Ridley:** God you guys are fun to mock

 

**Samus:** GoD yOu AlL aRe So FuN tO mOcK

 

**Ridley:** *****

 

**Samus:** ***** ***

 

**Ridley: ***** ***** ****** ***** ****

**Samus: ….** did you just type up astericks?????

 

**Ridley:** Not telling Sammy

 

**Samus: PISS OFF**

**Daisy:** Take him to Area 51 and they’ll experiment on him hopefully

 

**Lucina:**?

 

**Samus:** I should do that actually. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

**Daisy:** Np

 

**Toon Link:** I come into this chat at the weirdest times

 

**Cloud:** Join the club

 

**Daisy:** How I’ll feel after raiding Area 51 with @Peach

 

**Daisy: *video sent***

**Shulk** : What song are you two dancing too?????

 

**Villager: _If it ain’t K.K. Slider I don’t want it_**

****

**Diddy Kong:** WOW DAISY THIS CRAP AGAIN

****

**Donkey Kong:** Daisy why

 

**Peach:** I’m slightly concerned as to how I’m doing this particular dance with my dress on like that….

 

Daisy just smirked at the comments from the video rolling in. She loved messing with others, all in good fun, of course. She was currently in Luigi’s room as Luigi scrolled through the recent messages of the chat.

 

“Daisy, you’re not-a serious a-about the-a raid, are you?” Luigi asked, sort of timidly.

 

“Of course I am, Weeg! I wanna see those aliens!”

 

“You’ve-a seen aliens before, though.”

 

“Yeah, but I want to see what more Area 51 has to offer! Maybe their aliens are cooler!”

 

Luigi simply sighed. There was just no way to get through to her. At least she seemed happy about the whole thing, though. Daisy’s happiness meant the world to Luigi. Well, aside from Mario’s, of course.

 

 

 

 

 

**Shulk:** Guys seriously though what’s the name of the song?????????


	34. We’re Not Dating! (Banjo, Kazooie, and the Ice Climbers)

34. We’re Not Dating! (Banjo, Kazooie, and the Ice Climbers)

* * *

 

Banjo and Kazooie quickly got adjusted to Smash Mansion. They mainly hung around Diddy Kong, Donkey Kong, and K. Rool. They also tried talking to different people in the mansion, and they were well liked among everyone, except for Bayonetta. They attacked her because she was a witch, but multiple people had to explain to them that she was a ‘good witch’.

 

Apparently you learn new things every day.

 

But anyway, Banjo and Kazooie felt right at home with everyone else. The warm welcome was greatly appreciated, and they still couldn’t believe that they were in _the_ Smash Mansion among the greats.

 

It was another day in the mansion. Banjo and Kazooie were up early, which is sort of _Rare_ \--

 

“Banjo, how long are you going to keep narrating what we do?” Kazooie asked, irritably.

 

“As long as I feel like it, Kazooie.” Banjo spat back.

 

“But do you have to do it _early in the morning?”_

 

“Um, let me think… YES.”

 

“Why? You should be asleep at this time too, ya know.”

 

“Do you want to visit Tooty and Conker and forget about some of your memories of this place? What if something like that ‘World Of Light’ incident happens again but we all have amnesia or something?”

 

“That’s ridiculous.”

 

“It could happen, though! Think about it!”

 

“Well, I _think_ I’m going to get some coffee. You stay up here and make your little vlogs or something.”

 

Kazooie then left her room and went down to the kitchen. It was a quarter to 6 as Kazooie poured herself some coffee. She had to get away from Banjo for a while—he’s been making those vlogs for the past few days.

 

As she started to leave the kitchen, Kazooie saw a resident in the dining hall with a hoodie on. The resident was looking back at her.

 

“Who the hell are you?” Kazooie asked rather rudely.

 

“I’m Nana.” The resident answered swiftly. She took off her hoodie to show Kazooie her whole face.

 

“Oh. You’re the Ice Climber chick.” Kazooie said as Nana put her hoodie back on.

 

“Yes, I’m ‘the Ice Climber chick’.” She put her hands in the air and did air quotes through her gloves. “You do know that my name isn’t hard to remember, right?”

 

“I know. I just like giving some people nicknames. Like Yoshi is the Shitty Dinosaur, the Duck Hunt duo are the Impersonators, and your boyfriend is the ‘Ice Climber dude’.”

 

“Boyfriend?”

 

“Yes. That dude that looks exactly like you but wears blue instead of pink. You know, your boyfriend?”

 

“We’re not dating! That’s gross!”

 

“Listen girly, we all have feelings for people at different points in our lives. You’ll grow up and realize that your body is changing and so are your emotions, and---

 

“EW! What are you talking about?!”

 

“You will go through puberty. Happens to everyone, kid.”

 

“No! Not that! Me and Popo aren’t dating!”

 

Kazooie looked skeptical. “ _Really?”_

“Yes, really. Why would you think that?”

 

“You both constantly hang around each other, finish each other’s sentences, act sort of lovey dovey to each other, the list goes on.”

 

“Popo and I are brother and sister.”

 

Kazooie’s eyes widened. What she said just now was completely thrown out of the window.

 

“You and him are siblings? Are you guys into incest or some weird shit?”

 

“What the- NO! We just have a close relationship!”

 

“Yeah, sure. If that’s what you want to call it.” Kazooie smirked. Nana slightly huffed in disgust.

 

“Well, what about you and Banjo? Anything going on there?” Nana asked.

 

“We’re just friends. What’s it to ya?”

 

“Oh really? Well, the way you both bicker is similar to that of a married couple.”

 

“We have our differences.”

 

“Wow. ‘Differences’ she says.”

 

“Look, at least I’m not fucking my brother.”

 

“I don’t do that!”

 

“Just kidding. I already have my eye on someone else though, so Banjo is out of the question.”

 

“Awesome. Who’s the guy?”

 

“Not telling.”

 

“Of course not.”

 

Popo then came down and hugged Nana.

 

“Hey sis. You coming back up?” Popo asked.

 

“Might as well.” Nana said as they both started to walk off before Popo turned to Kazooie.

 

“Your boyfriend is coming down to the kitchen, by the way. He said he got bored.”

 

“Banjo and I aren’t dating!” Kazooie said.

 

“That’s what they all say.” Popo joked as he and Nana went upstairs. Banjo came down right after.

 

“What was that all about?” Banjo asked.

 

“Nothing important.”

 

“Kazooie, you can tell me anything.”

 

“They thought we were dating.”

 

 

Banjo suddenly busted out in laughter. Kazooie only looked at him with her wings on her hips.

 

“You and—ha—me? Too weird!” Banjo said in between fits.

 

“I know, right?” Kazooie said. “But you know what’s even weirder? Those two are brother and sister.”

 

Banjo stopped laughing and looked at Kazooie with a confused expression. “Really?”

 

“Yep.”

 

Banjo only responded to this news by recording himself on his personal vlog. “The Ice Climbers are siblings, not lovers.”

 

“Is that even noteworthy?!”

 

 “Yes.”


	35. Jenga (Meta Knight and Lucina)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucina tries to play a game with one of her Smash adversaries.

35. Jenga (Meta Knight and Lucina)

* * *

Lucina was often seen playing board games with Chrom as a part of their father-daughter time. Well, that and the fact that Lucina loves board games and just games in general. It wasn’t uncommon of her to go around and play with different members of the mansion. The main reason other than the fact that she loves games is just to bring others together.

 

Other times she would just play games with people to cheer them up if they looked down or try to get them to loosen up a little. However, there was always a resident that seemed so serious. He had a no nonsense air to himself, no matter how ridiculous certain situations would get for him.

 

Meta Knight just seemed so serious about everything. Lucina knew this due to being one of his closest comrades and all, but it would help if he could be more… enthusiastic about it.

 

So now here they were, in the living room. Meta Knight sat on the floor as Lucina came in with a box. The word on the box seemed to confuse him, however.

 

“Jenga?” Meta Knight asked, the word being completely new to him.

 

“This is one of my favorite games. All we have to do is build a tower of blocks and try to take them out one by one and if the tower falls on your turn, you lose. Pretty simple.” Lucina said as she started to set up the blocks.

 

‘I don’t know why I said yes to this…’ Meta Knight thought. He only said he wanted to play because he thought it was polite, plus it was Lucina asking to play, so of course he said yes.

 

Before he knew it, she was done before he knew it. Lucina must’ve really wanted to play this game. Either that or she played it a bunch of times before and now she become a pro at stacking these blocks by now.

 

“All done! Now we can play!” Lucina said excitedly. “I’ll go first to show you how it’s done.”

 

She started to push a block near the middle of the temple. She was slow and precise, wiggling the block back and forth slowly to make sure the structure didn’t start to lose it’s balance. Eventually, she got the block out, seemingly really easily.

 

“See? It’s easy. Now you try.” Lucina said.

 

“I’m pretty sure you know, your highness, but my gloves can restrict certain movements, including ones that could help me in a situation like this.” Meta Knight explained.

 

“Your gloves? I’m sure you can still play with them. I’ve seen what you can do with them, Meta Knight. Just give it at least one try.” Lucina said, trying to encourage him.

 

Meta Knight then looked at the blocks, deciding which one to go for. He settled for one near the bottom, using his glove to try to move the block out from its place.  He tried to mimic what Lucina had done with little success. Unfortunately, the blocks started to wobble and fall all over the floor. Meta Knight didn’t show any emotion, as usual.

 

“Oh. Sorry about that, Meta. If you want, we can try again. You almost had it!” Lucina said. Her positivity was so uplifting.

 

“I would like that, Princess Lucina.” Meta Knight answered. Lucina started to set up the block tower once again. Lucina was always a challenge for Meta Knight and would make sure his skills were put to the test, and this was one of those times.

 

And even though Meta Knight had barely experienced this game and how intense it can get to be at times, he was actually having fun.


	36. Eating Contest (King Dedede, Wario, Yoshi, and Kirby)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by catpotatoe737. Hope ya like it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVE!

36. Eating Contest (King Dedede, Wario, Yoshi, and Kirby)

* * *

 

“Then I told him, “I can’t let you do that, Star Fox!”

 

“Oh man! That gets funnier every time you tell it!”

 

Lunch time at the villains table was the same like always—chatting, over eating, bothering other Smashers-- the usual.

 

However, there was always one person in the bunch that had to ruin the peace (or lack thereof) among the villains. Despite being a villain himself, he doesn’t really belong with the other villains for multiple reasons.

 

“WAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!” Wario laughed with food in his mouth, spitting bits and pieces all over everyone else. Everyone at the table just looked at him with looks of disgust on their faces.

 

“And _this_ is why I choose to eat in my quarters.” Ludwig said as he got up and left for his room as the other Koopalings and Bowser Jr. followed.

 

“Ever hear of say it and not spray it, fat ass?” Wolf asked irritably, wiping a piece of chewed up meat off of his outfit. “On second thought, don’t answer that question.”

 

“Why do you have a lot of food, anyway? Are you actually going to eat all of that?” K. Rool asked.

 

Indeed, Wario has gotten more than his fair share of food. He was known for this, but today, he has gone all out. Once he heard that a lot of deserts were being made today, he wanted to prevent the more… gluttonous Smashers from even getting a single piece of a sweet. He was just cruel like that.

 

“Waht are you-a talking about? Of course I am! I-a love wahtever the heck this-a jelly thing is!” Wario said as he showed off a green and red jelly-like figure as it wobbled.

 

“That’s gelatin, dumbass.” Wolf snarked.

 

“Wahtever. It’s-a still-a good.” Wario said as he wolfed it down.

 

“Hey, where are all the snacks?” Pit asked from the other side of the room. Rosalina put a finger up to her lips to shush him and pointed to the villains table.

 

“Oh. Of course he would do that.”

 

Wario simply laughed manically as he heard everyone grumble over not getting a treat. King Dedede then walked over.

 

“Where’s all the snacks?” He asked.

 

“The remaining villains all simply pointed to Wario, who picked his nose.

 

King Dedede scrunched his face up. “…You’re terrible.” He finally spat out.

 

“As if we didn’t know that.” Wolf quipped.

 

“You’re eating it all wrong, Wario!” King Dedede said as he sucked up some of the food that Wario had not eaten, much to the shock of the villains.

 

“Oh god…” Wolf grumbled.

 

“Are you-a challenging me?” Wario questioned.

 

“Maybe.” King Dedede said with a smirk. Before things could escalate, Kirby walked over tapping on King Dedede’s back. The King turned around and was met with an angry glare from the puffball.

 

“Oh, it’s you. What do you want?” The King asked, shrugging off the fact that Kirby looked mad.

 

Then, Kirby jumped up on the table and grabbed as much food as he could so he could so he could give it back to the other fighters. King Dedede tried stop him by trying to suck him up, but he was met with an egg to the side to get him to stop. As soon as he got hit, he tumbled onto the floor. He looked to see the remaining parts of the eggshell on the ground and saw that it was covered with green spots, automatically now knowing who it belonged to.

 

“YOSHI!” King Dedede yelled as the attention turned to Yoshi, who glared at the greedy king.

 

“KIRBY!” Wario yelled as he got away with some of the food.

 

“THAT WAS OUR FOOD!” King Dedede and Wario said in unison.

 

“No it wasn’t! It was everybody’s! You both were just so greedy as to take it all for yourself!” Zelda rebutted.

 

“Poyo poyo!” Kirby said with an angry glare as Yoshi ran behind him for support.

 

“Grrr… you’ll-a both pay for-a this!” Wario said with his blood boiling now. As the four were about to start fighting, K. Rool had stopped them.

 

“As much as I want to see you all fight to the death over some food, I have a better proposal.” K. Rool said with a toothy grin.

 

“Eeek eek ek eek ek eeeek. (If he says that, this is not going to end well).” Diddy said under his breath.

 

“Why not have a… eating contest?” K. Rool said, pausing for dramatic effect. Everyone either looked annoyed or surprised.

 

“That’s no fair! You’ll eat all the food!” Palutena said.

 

“Exactly, goddess.” K. Rool retorted.

 

“You don’t-a have to tell-a me twice! I’m-a in!” Wario said excitedly as the other villains left the table.

 

“Heh. Can’t say no to this.” King Dedede said as he joined Wario with a smug grin.

 

“Wh-what are you two gonna do?” Luigi asked Yoshi and Kirby, who both looked at each other and nodded in silent confirmation. They then walked over to the table, much to the surprise (and dismay) of most of the Smashers.

 

“They accepted the challenge?!” Zelda asked in disbelief.

 

“Not to shocking if ya ask me.” Kazooie snarked.

 

  1. Rool smiled to the two villains. “Show them who’s boss.” He said as they prepared to eat the large portions of sweets set in front of them. Everyone now surrounded the villains’ table, curious to see who would win.



 

“Get ready… set… GO!” K. Rool said loud enough to echo in the whole dining room.

 

They four started eating to their heart’s content. King Dedede and Kirby were only sucking their food, Wario took in large portions of food, almost seemingly similar to the abilities of Kirby, and Yoshi used his tongue to swipe in multiple portions.

 

The villains started to root for Dedede and Wario to win and vice versa with Yoshi and Kirby. As the portions of food became smaller and smaller, none of them showed any signs of slowing down. Yoshi had a noticeable amount of eggs that were now piling up behind him and under the table. Kirby glanced at this as he kept eating.

 

“Better give-a up now, losers! We’re-a gonna win!” Wario taunted with his tongue out, spitting food on them in the process.

 

King Dedede joined in. “Yeah! Give up now, ya big pink loser!”

 

Suddenly, Yoshi grabbed the eggs from underneath the table and threw it directly at Wario as he handed Kirby some eggs, with the latter hitting King Dedede with some of the eggs as well. They both knocked them out, while saving some of the food in the process.

 

The whole dining room went silent as the scene unfolded as the duo took the sweets back to the other side of the room, with everyone cheering as they did so.

 

“This wasn’t part of the rules!” Wolf said angrily. “They were going to win!”

 

“Suck it, Wolf!” Falco said as he ran to the other side.

 

Before Wolf could do anything, the whole room was cut off by a loud growl. Everyone looked over to the villains’ side and saw Wario with his stomach bulging.

 

“Oh no…” Mario grumbled.

**Author's Note:**

> Send in prompts because I have no idea what direction to take the story sometimes. Relationships and friendships are up to me, though.


End file.
